An Unexpected Lady
by JosieSwan
Summary: After Edward leaves Bella in New Moon, a wish sends Bella to Jane Austen's England, where she meets a familiar face, Carlisle Cullen, whose control is not what it was in 2010. Knowing his secret, will she be the end to his loneliness? AU, Carlisle/Bella
1. Prologue: Eyelashes and Cobblestones

**A/N: Welcome! This is a departure for me into the world of the sparkle vamps, and is a straight up Carlisle/Bella story. This started as a one-shot for the FicsForNashville compilation, which I was so proud to be a part of, and even prouder to be a part of such an amazing fandom. As soon as I started writing this, I knew that it was going to be more than a one-shot, though. **

**My first priority is going to be to my other work in progress, In the Shadow of Ursa Major, but I will try to update this as frequently as I can. I'm guessing that will be about every week or two until In the Shadow is finished. That being said, I have a couple chapters already written, and will put them up soon.**

**Thank you so much to my amazing beta and story guru, Bethaboo, for all that she does. She's fantastic.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does... I just plan on playing with the characters and even what we know of them.

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It took Charlie threatening to send me to Jacksonville to finally make me realize that staring out my window was not going to make Edward Cullen magically jump through it. He had left me, and wasn't going to return. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was going to have to find a way to continue my life without him.

Really, it wasn't just that I missed Edward. I mean, that was a large part of it, of course, but I missed all of them. I missed the way that I finally had felt like I was a part of something—that I was really cared for. I guess I had been completely mistaken though. If they had loved me, they wouldn't have left. One minute, they were killing James for trying to kill me, and the next, they had vanished in the night.

They were sort of like lightening bugs, really; the Cullens burst into my life in an explosion of light and love, but once their light went out, it was impossible to tell if they'd ever really been there.

There was a large part of me that felt their betrayal more than I did Edward's. Did it hurt that he'd been pretending to love me for months? Yes. Of course it hurt like hell. I mean, what was the point of doing all these ridiculous things like forcing me to go to prom, and throwing parties for my birthday that I clearly didn't want? Prom I could almost understand—a guy like him would be expected to make an appearance, but there was no expectation like that for my birthday. He said he was tired of pretending, but he always pretended more than I wanted him to. Part of me thought he might not have grown weary of the act if he had listened to me when I told him I didn't need it.

That's Edward, though. I think the rest of the Cullens failed me in two ways: they _always_ pretended, and they let him make me believe he loved me, even knowing that he didn't. They moved from town to town for decades, pretending to be human. No matter where they moved to, even Edward was going to be forced into the endless charade. I just hoped they didn't find another girl to bring into their home and leave broken-hearted. Maybe they didn't know that Edward was just pretending. Maybe he fooled them, too. If that were the case, how could they just leave me behind, knowing that I had come to love them all as friends, brothers, and sisters? Hell, Esme was even like a mother to me.

Perhaps they had been pretending to care about me just for Edward's sake. Something told me that they weren't all faking it, though.

It had been months since he left me, and I was making honest efforts to be more social, for Charlie's sake. Well, perhaps that was a lie. I was also trying for myself. I didn't want to be the cliché of the needy girl who gets dumped and simply couldn't move on. I didn't want to feel worthless and expendable every day of my life. I wanted to be happy. I _wanted_ to move on.

I could have accepted offers from Mike or Tyler for dates. I could have called Jacob back and hung out in La Push with him. But Jacob was far too young for me, and Tyler was too annoying, but part of me wished I could give Mike a chance. He was a sweet guy, and was actually really funny and considerate. He was actually pretty cute, too. I could do a lot worse for a boyfriend.

The trouble was, I had been completely spoiled. I had known what it was like to be with someone who had captivated and enchanted you from the moment you laid eyes on them, and I didn't think I could settle for anything less.

I'd been reading epic love stories for as long as I could remember—stories like _Emma_, and _Sense and Sensibility_. Even novels like _Wuthering Heights_ spoke of love that could not be stopped, though I admit that I would rather a relationship not quite as dysfunctional as Cathy and Heathcliff's. If I was going to risk my heart again, I would make certain that the love was true and powerful. I would settle for nothing less.

Thinking of the pure love made me want to lose myself in Jane Austen's world. With nothing better to do on a Sunday afternoon, I decided to curl up with my copy of _Pride and Prejudice_, and the story of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Like a fool, I found myself crying when I re-read the letter he had left her, defending the accusations she had leveled against him, and explaining his actions. I wiped a tear as it trailed down my cheek, and wondered why life couldn't be simpler. I wanted to live in a time when life didn't move at 50 miles per hour, and you had the time to pursue the things that interested you.

When I pulled my finger away, I noticed an eyelash that had come off of my cheek. As a little girl, Renee had convinced me that I could get a wish if I blew the lash from my finger. It was a habit I had never bothered to break. I closed my eyes, and wished that I could live in England during Jane Austen's time, and find the sort of love she wrote about for myself. I blew the eyelash from my finger, and opened my eyes.

Sighing, I put my head back against my pillow and continued to read until I felt my eyes grow heavy, and drifted off to sleep.

x-x-x

I began to wake up when I heard voices from the street invade my ears. There had never been that much traffic on my street, so I was understandably perplexed. When I went to swing my legs off my bed, I became cognizant of that fact that I was no longer _in_ my bed. In fact, I wasn't even in my room. I was…somewhere else. Actually, I was propped up against a stone wall, sitting on a cobblestone street, with my legs stretched out in front of me.

Clearly, this is a dream, and I'm not actually napping outside somewhere. And where would I even be that still has cobblestone streets? Or, wait, were these sett streets? My old history teacher in Phoenix had mentioned something about a difference between the two. Sett streets were smooth, and cobblestone streets were bumpier. These must be cobblestone, because it felt like I was sitting on a bunch of bumpy rocks.

I was really focusing on the wrong details here.

Instead of considering what type of stone street I was sitting on, I should be focusing on why I was sitting on a street at all. Also, why was I wearing a dress? More importantly, why was I wearing a long brown dress that I didn't own? I looked at the simple cotton dress, and acknowledged that it was quite pretty in its simplicity. It was rather old-fashioned, but looked new.

As I looked at the style dress, I realized that it looked similar to the dresses I'd seen in the BBC miniseries of Jane Austen novels. It was with that thought that everything seemed to fall into place. I had fallen asleep reading _Pride and Prejudice_, and naturally I began to dream I was in the novel. It wouldn't be the first time this had happened, and I was certain it wouldn't be the last, but it was by far the most realistic dream I'd ever had.

I stood up, feeling slightly lightheaded from standing up too quickly, and marveled that physical responses like that were present even in dreams. Apparently, my mind was really detail-oriented.

I decided that I must be behind a building, as I could hear the bustle and commotion on the street, but there was thankfully no one around me. Though I was oddly eager to talk to someone and take advantage of the situation -even if it was in dream- I didn't want to seem like a lunatic who routinely took naps on the side of random buildings.

I brushed the dirt off my butt and straightened my dress, and took a few calming breaths. I briefly wondered if Mr. Darcy looked more like Colin Firth or Matthew Macfadyen, before I really didn't care because he was _Mr. Darcy_. Well, that, and he was a construct of my mind anyways and I'd find out soon enough. I wouldn't dream myself into a Jane Austen novel without giving myself some eye-candy to look at.

I walked around the building, and my breath caught in my throat at the scene before me. The town was much larger than I had expected it to be, and there were many people milling about the streets, weaving in and out of shops. There were some vendors that pedaled their wares right on the side of the street. It was so full of life and energy, and I found myself smiling from the excitement of the marketplace. Even if this was all in my head, it was incredible.

I stood and watched the people go about their day for a few minutes, amazed at how friendly everyone was with one another. Meryton must have been a rather small town for people to be so well acquainted with their neighbors. Though, I supposed, they did always have large public balls for the purpose of getting to know each other. Their society always seemed more social than those of today. Forks was so tiny that you couldn't help but know everyone else, but in Phoenix, I barely knew all the people who lived on my street.

I turned around to walk towards the butcher shop, and managed to collide with a lady around my age.

"I'm so terribly sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," I said quickly. Even in my dreams, I was clumsy. If I were in England, my accent would stick out like a sore thumb, so I used the best English accent I could muster.

"It's no trouble. Miss Purcell and I were quite engaged in our conversation, and neglected to see you standing in front of us," the girl replied.

"Sorry, again," I mumbled, and began to walk away, but the girl began to speak before I had gotten very far.

"I haven't seen you in town before, miss. Are you newly arrived?"

"Actually, yes. I just got here a few minutes ago. It's a really cool market," I supplied lamely.

"I think it's quite warm today, actually," she said with her eyebrows slightly furrowed. "Welcome, though. I am Miss Anne Crowe, and this is Miss Jane Purcell. It's a pleasure to meet you…" Anne said, with a slight bow of her head.

I bowed my head as well, and smiled. "I'm Bella. Bella Swan. It's nice to meet you, too."

"Charmed, Miss Swan," Jane said.

"What brings you to our fair town?" Anne asked. "You have the most unusual accent. Where are you from?"

Apparently, my fake English accent was…well, really fake.

It was very strange needing to tell my life story in a dream. Generally, the people I met seemed to already know my life story, and not require even the exchange of names, so I was understandably confused at the sudden need to do so. If I was in the early 1800s, then neither Washington nor Arizona was even discovered yet, so I couldn't tell them where I was from. I also wasn't terribly sure what _had_ been discovered yet, and couldn't tell you who was president when. Was my subconscious trying to tell me to go back and study U.S. history?

"I'm from the U.S. actually, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and I'm here looking for a friend of my father's."

"May we help you find him?" Jane asked, and I was immediately struck by how helpful and friendly these girls were.

"I don't want to trouble you. I'm sure I can find him on my own," I said quickly. My dream would lead me to Darcy soon enough all by itself. I didn't want to seem rude by not asking about them, though, so I asked a polite question of my own. "Where are you two off to?"

"We're buying ribbons for our dresses for tonight. There's a ball that the Thomases are holding, and Jane is trying to catch the eye of the elusive Mr. Cullen," Anne stated happily.

The name Cullen was a shock to me, and I was shocked that my subconscious would give me both Darcy _and_ Edward at once. Really, I wasn't sure if there was anything better than Edward Cullen being inserted into _Pride and Prejudice_. Best. Dream. Ever. I realized that these girls were going to be my ticket to Darcy and Edward after all.

"Did you say Mr. Cullen?" I asked. When both Jane and Anne nodded, I smiled. "That's my father's friend. Do you know where I could find him?"

"Well, he'll be at the ball tonight, and you could find him then," Jane said encouragingly.

"I haven't been invited," I said.

"It's a public ball, and you can come with us," Anne declared with a smile. She reminded me slightly of a less demanding Alice. "Now, come. We need ribbons for tonight."

And with that, I shopped for ribbons with Anne and Jane. I didn't really know what I would do with ribbons, and had to inform them of my lack of money to purchase any with, but they were kind, and we were going to a ball, where I could avoid dancing like the plague.

It was three hours later when I realized that I was not actually dreaming. We'd shopped for hours, and then gone to Anne's home, where we had tea. I began to figure it out when I tripped, and scraped my hands slightly. The very real stinging sensation in my hands was very un-dreamlike. Later, when I sat down, I felt exhausted. I'd never been tired in a dream, nor had I been injured.

I also knew I wasn't dreaming when I sat for hours sipping tea, waiting for the ball to commence. When you dream, you sort of magically skip through the boring waiting around parts. There would have been a handy time gap between meeting Anne and Jane, and arriving at the ball. I also wouldn't have been hungry, and eaten a dinner of quail and peas.

The problem was, figuring out that I wasn't dreaming, and really was in England circa the early 1800s, didn't really help me. How the hell did I get here, and why was I here? I was a young girl with no family, no money, and I really didn't know anyone here. I was thoroughly and completely screwed. The only thing I had going for me was that I seemed to have made two fast friends in Anne and Jane, but they were expecting me to be looking for a man named Cullen—a man whose only tie to me was a coincidentally shared name with a man I loved.

I would go to the ball with Anne and Jane, but I had no idea what I was going to do when it was all over.

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**A/N: I'm probably going to post the first full chapter over the weekend. Hope you enjoyed the prologue!**


	2. 1 Familiar Faces and Explanations

**A/N: Thank you again for my lovely and amazing beta, Bethaboo. You rock my world, B.**

**Wow, guys. I have to admit that I'm sort of floored by all your responses to this story. I'm seriously blown away. Thank you all so much for reading:)**

**Disclaimer: SMeyer still owns Twilight. I still don't. I'm gonna seriously mess with her universe, though.**

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**Chapter 1: Familiar Faces and Explanations**

I was internally panicking when we arrived at the ball in a carriage with Mrs. Crowe, Anne's mother, Mr. Crowe, Anne, and Jane. Jane, I had learned, was a cousin of Anne's, and was staying with the Crowes through the summer. Though they had no problem with me staying for supper, I highly doubted that they'd like some random girl to stay with them indefinitely. My only hope was to speak to Mr. Cullen for long enough to convince my new friends that I had gotten what I'd come for, and they'd be fine leaving without me.

The ball was something straight out of a movie. There was a large dance floor, as well as plenty of tables, chairs, and benches for people to sit down and chat with their friends, as well as live string instrumentalists, providing the music for dancing. And I'll be damned if people didn't magically seem to know how to dance in perfect formation to each song.

It was sort of like when Renee decided that she wanted to go contra dancing, and dragged me along. There were certain moves that everyone knew, but there was someone who called out each dance as it was going, so that you could follow along and not look like an idiot if you hadn't been doing it that long. Of course, no one seemed to need the caller here, and I was slightly terrified that I'd need to learn all of this if I was stuck here for much longer.

I'd seen it in plenty of miniseries and movie adaptation of Austen novels, but I'd never seen it in person. It was so much more entrancing, to be caught up in the sights and sounds. There was a sense of pageantry that was unlike anything I'd seen before. I'd often wondered what it was like to be a young lady in Jane Austen's time. I'd even wished that I could have been a part of that world.

Wait. _Wish._ As soon as I thought the word, I remembered reading _Pride and Prejudice_, and making that exact wish on an eyelash, just before napping and waking up here in the past. _I think I actually wished myself back in time. On an eyelash._

I don't think I honestly believed wishes on eyelashes would come true when I was five, never mind now that I was an adult.

A beautifully familiar face caught my attention, and I drew a quick breath, and found myself unable to release it. If I hadn't already logically deduced it was impossible, I'd think I was dreaming. Mr. Cullen really was here, and I could only hope that he could help me, after all.

With my heart hammering in my chest, I walked over to where he stood, speaking with someone, and stood behind him for a moment. I knew he'd be aware of my presence, and was slightly surprised that he didn't turn around. When his friend left, I took the opportunity to step forward, and lightly tapped on his shoulder.

He turned around with his eyebrows raised, indicating his surprise, and my eyes raked over his familiar features. "Oh my god, Carlisle!" I whispered excitedly. "I'm so glad I found you!"

I was so happy, I took a step forward hoping to give him a small hug, when I saw him step back, and his eyes widen. He was wary of my actions, and it actually took me a few minutes to realize that just because _I_ had traveled back in time, Carlisle had legitimately been alive, and this vampire had no idea who I was.

Crap.

"I'm sorry, miss, but do I know you?" He asked politely, his golden eyes searching my face, as I was sure he was reaching the conclusion that he had, in fact, never met me before.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen," I stammered. I didn't know what to say to him. "I'm Bella Swan."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Swan," he said quietly. He bowed his head slightly, and I could see that he was still trying to figure out how I knew his name in his mind.

"I know this is a lot to ask you, but can I just talk to you for a minute? It'll only take a second, but I sort of really need your help," I said.

He examined me for another minute or two with narrowed eyes before finally nodding. I understood his need for caution, but I really was getting annoyed for him taking so long to blatantly size me up. I wasn't asking him to marry me—I just needed to talk to him for a minute or two.

I turned and walked towards the exit, and felt his presence behind me. I caught myself shivering slightly as I remembered the hard look in his eye. He was Carlisle, for god's sake; he couldn't hurt anyone. Still, I had never seen him look quite so domineering and wary. For the first time, I began to wonder how much his happy acceptance of me and fond welcome was due to my relationship of Edward, and how much was genuinely Carlisle.

Once we were outside and out of earshot, I turned to face him. His face was still more closed than I was used to, but his eyes seemed alight with curiosity. Ah, Carlisle, ever the voracious scientist.

"I never thought I'd see you here," I blurted out, before realizing that he still had no idea how I knew he was. "Um… I mean, I'm surprised to see you."

"Miss Swan, I'm quite confident that I have never had the pleasure of a previous introduction, yet you seem to be under a different impression altogether," he said formally.

I took a deep breath, and decided that maybe thinking before I spewed out any further verbal diarrhea would be good. I needed Carlisle to know that I wasn't crazy, that I knew him, and that he could trust me. I had no idea how to pull all this off. Stalling for time, I began to trace my fingers along the crescent shaped scar on my wrist from James's attack.

The motion caught Carlisle's attention, and he snatched my hand quickly before I could even blink.

"How did you get this, Miss Swan?" Carlisle demanded of me quietly. There was a hint of both awe and menace in his tone, and I was slightly frightened of his reaction.

I stammered slightly as I replied, "I… I got it from a rather unfriendly… man. His eyes were not the same lovely color as yours." I looked at him pointedly, hoping to convey that James wasn't actually a man as such.

"He bit you, and yet you're still human." It was a statement of fact. I nodded, even though the truth was already clear to him. "How is that even possible?"

"The venom was sucked out before it had the chance to spread. It prevented the change."

His eyes widened even further. "I've never heard of such a thing. It's rather incredible."

I couldn't help but mutter under my breath, "Of course you'd think so. It was your damn idea."

You'd think that after dating Edward for more than six months, I'd have learned that even phrases spoken under my breath were fully audible to vampires. Of course Carlisle heard my statement.

"You speak of knowing me, and yet we have not met. I'm afraid, Miss Swan, that I really must insist on some answers. You clearly have knowledge that humans should not possess."

"Well, I do, yes. But I promise not to tell anyone. I know you'd be in trouble, and the truth is, I need your help. If I exposed you, I'd be completely screwed."

"You have the oddest manner of speech, Miss Swan, and I'll admit that I don't know what to make of you," he stated. I realized that since I had recognized him, I had all but dropped my abysmal attempt at a British accent, and had been speaking as I had in the twenty-first century.

"I'm really sorry. I promise that I'll explain everything, but… not here. I came here tonight because the nice girl I met earlier, Jane? She mentioned a Mr. Cullen. And I actually thought I was dreaming, and got excited that there was someone else I knew, but I didn't even think it was you, but when I saw it was, I knew you were the only person who could help me. So, please, is there anywhere that we could go talk? Like, do you have a house somewhere that's far away from prying ears?"

That speech made almost zero sense in my own mind, but it seemed that Carlisle understood my meaning well enough, because he nodded, and started walking down the long driveway to the road.

Wearing these unfamiliar shoes with heels in addition to my naturally flawed coordination, I ended up tripping before we had even reached the road. Before I could put my arms in front of me to catch myself, I felt a strong hand clasp around my waist, steadying me.

I looked over at Carlisle, who was looking at me with an eyebrow raised. "Careful, now, Miss Swan. Your hands are already scraped, and we wouldn't want to open your cuts." I blushed, and he laughed. "Such an interesting reaction to such a comment. One would expect fear, not embarrassment."

"You'd never harm me, Carlisle. I've never met anyone with control as impeccable as yours before."

"You call me by my given name, Miss Swan. Such curious manners you have."

"I'm sorry. I can call you Mr. Cullen, if that makes you more comfortable." I wasn't certain why the prospect of doing so made me feel disheartened. Perhaps because I had lost the familiarity I had once had with Carlisle.

"Why didn't you in the first place?" he asked.

"Well, you told me to call you Carlisle. It took me a months before I actually listened to you and started to, though," I answered with a laugh.

He turned to regard me for a moment, and I couldn't help but squirm a bit under his scrutiny. He chuckled lightly at my reaction, and I wondered if he was enjoying setting me on edge.

We reached the road, and he nodded to the right to indicate which direction we were traveling. I stopped at looked at him incredulously. "You don't have a carriage or a horse or something? Aren't you concerned with appearances?" I asked.

He simply laughed at my questions. "My house is less than a mile from here. It would be considered odd if I were to take a horse when traveling such a short distance, especially since people know about my fondness for walking. Besides, I have a habit of frightening the horses, which can be more troublesome than walking everywhere."

"Well, I guess I can see that," I agreed, begrudgingly. "But I've always thought that you must have some sort of gift for putting people at ease with your calm and caring nature. I'm surprised that horses would actually get spooked."

"I'll admit that some may consider me less inherently dangerous than… others like myself, but horses are quite intelligent, and animals generally are more wary of my presence than men are."

"Huh," I replied. _Such a genius reply, Bella_, I thought bitterly. Honestly, I couldn't think of anything to say to that. I was shocked at how little I had seen Edward, or any of the Cullen family, around animals.

"I apologize for any impertinence this question may imply, but would you please tell me where you have previously met me?"

"It's not that I believe I've met you, Mr. Cullen. I _have_ met you before. But telling you where we met will mean absolutely nothing right now."

"Will you permit me to judge that for myself? I am much more well traveled than I may appear to be, and have a strong grasp on geography," he stated with a hint of indignity in his tone.

"Fine. I met you in Forks, Washington, in the United States," I said. I was exasperated with his constant questions and refusal to take any of my statements as truth.

"I have never heard of such a place. I thought that the capital was a single town, yet you would have me believe that there is a location named after an eating utensil?"

I scoffed. "I told you that you wouldn't know of it."

"This seems a rather convenient coincidence, Miss Swan, and I'm afraid that I'm beginning to doubt your honesty."

I stopped and looked at him. "Are you kidding me? What proof do you need that I do know you? Do you want me to tell you that I'm from the future? That we met in a hospital, when part of your future coven saved me from being hit by a car? Because you don't have a coven right now, and don't even know what a car is! You're a doctor in the future, and one of the kindest men I've ever met! I know that you've never tasted human blood, and have the control to work in a hospital that's full of blood.

"I know you just spent a few decades hanging around with the Volturi in Volterra, Italy, and that they tried to get you to drink from humans, but that you refused, and will only drink from animals. I've seen the painting that Solimena painted of you, Aro, Marcus, and Caius. I know that you're a vampire, but you still believe you have a soul. You even keep your father's old wooden cross with you. He was an Anglican pastor, and liked to hunt monsters like vampires, but you were the one who found one. I know that you were born in London sometime around 1640, and tried to kill yourself for a while, until you found a herd of deer, and drank from them instead.

"I know that you swam across the English Channel to France, which still pretty much blows my mind, which is when you went to Italy and found the other vampires. What I don't know is what you're doing here in England, when I was pretty sure that you went to America after you left the Volturi."

By the end of my speech, Carlisle's eyes were quite large, and his mouth hung open slightly. Oh my god, I had actually shocked him. Crap. I wasn't supposed to be able to do that, and I really didn't think I was supposed to tell him all that at once. Damn. Not only that, but I was breathing quite heavily and panting as if I had just run a couple miles.

He shook his head, as if to clear it, and said, "I'm planning to go to America in a couple years. I wanted to train as a doctor here in England before I left for the New World. My control is good, but I want it to be perfect before I begin to practice."

"Oh. I didn't know that. That was sort of left out of the story," I said. The air between us had grown thick and heavy, and we both spoke quietly. He seemed to be in a daze still, and I had responded quietly, not wanting to spook him any more than I already had. I had basically just told Carlisle all about his life, and managed to tell him I'm from the future, all in a spectacular display of word vomit.

He seemed to brake out of whatever trance he was in, and looked to his left. "This is my house here. I have a number of questions I should like to ask you, but I believe that they are best suited to be approached while you are seated and less likely to lose your balance."

His manners were consistently Carlisle, and I was pleased that he was able to tease me about my clumsiness. The truth was, I understood why he was nervous about the situation. I knew his secret, and he was too compassionate to really consider taking my life. He viewed every life as precious, and worked hard for centuries to gain the control necessary to be around exposed blood and save human lives.

We walked in silence into his home. I couldn't see well because it was dark out, but I could see that Carlisle's affinity for large houses was well rooted in history. It was massive—probably larger than the Cullen family home in Forks. There were many rooms lit from the inside, and I saw some people inside. I turned to him, and lifted an eyebrow. His expression never changed, and he continued walking until we reached the door.

He opened the door for me, and as soon as I stepped inside, there was a servant inside, who curtsied and nodded to me, as well as Carlisle. Well, that explains the people inside his home. I suppose he had to keep up appearances. He'd be expected to have servants in a home this size, as well as his with his income level. They even had servants at Longbourn in _Pride and Prejudice_.

He led me into a large sitting room that was finely furnished with ornate chairs and couches. It was similar to the Crowe family's tearoom, and I supposed it was meant for the same purpose. The servants were milling around outside of the room, but Carlisle had shut the room for privacy. I sat on a comfortable looking chair after taking my shoes off, and drew one of my legs up underneath me.

Carlisle didn't sit down. In fact, he didn't even look at me before he began to pace back and forth in front of me, like a caged lion. His steps were silent, and the only noise in the room was the sound of my breathing and the ticking from a clock sitting on his mantle. As the minutes ticked by, the sound seemed to grow louder and louder, and I found myself pacing my breaths to the seconds it marked.

Carlisle didn't speak, and I didn't want to break the silence, so I continued to wait. I became mildly annoyed when I realized that while my breathing matched the ticking, his strides were not keeping the same pace. Sometimes his feet would hit the floor at the correct time, but it appeared to be only accidental. I knew I should be thinking of what I should and should not reveal to him, but I wanted to know what he was thinking before I did. So I waited.

It was over an hour before he finally stopped pacing, sat in a chair facing me, and began to speak.

"You've never been in my house before, but you know about some of my possessions. You know about my father, and how I began hunting animals. You know why I left the Volturi, as well as where I plan to go. These are details that only Aro and myself are aware of, and he only knows because he has read my mind." "Wait, Aro can read minds, too?" I ask. The sudden narrowing of his eyes made me aware that I was not supposed to interrupt. "Sorry. Go on."

"You speak strangely, and you know my secrets. You've survived being bitten by a vampire before, and bear the scar to prove it. I have no choice to believe that you are, on some level, telling me the truth. You said you are from the future. What year?"

He didn't seem angry—merely like a scientist dissecting the facts. Any other man, and I would probably be dead already, but Carlisle's curious and kind nature provided me with the benefit of a doubt. I answered him quietly. "2010."

He blew out the remainder of his breath in one strong gust. I could smell the sweetness of his breath, and was oddly comforted. "You come from the year 2010? It is 1815, and that is 195 years from now. You understand how this seems incredible, correct?"

"Look, I know it seems more than a little crazy. I really spent about half of today thinking I was dreaming, but I'm not. I scraped my hand, and I wouldn't have sat through over an hour of watching you pace in my own dream. I'm from 2010, and I knew you then. We were friends. You helped save my life more than once."

"Then why are you here? What did you have to gain by approaching me at the ball?"

"Well, I'm here because you're sort of the only person I know right now, and if I didn't approach you, I'd be sleeping outside somewhere in a strange country and a strange time? I don't even know what year it is, to be honest. I made that stupid wish, and fell asleep reading, and woke up lying against a freaking building. So, seeing you at that ball? I figured you're still Carlisle, and if anyone could help me you could."

I didn't realize I was crying until I had to sniff my nose, and saw Carlisle offering me a handkerchief. I accepted it gratefully, and saw his expression soften.

"I don't mean to accuse you, Miss Swan, I hope I have not conducted myself in a manner that would suggest I was. I simply am trying to understand why you are here and what you need from me."

I took a deep breath and looked into his golden eyes. They were filled with compassion, and I saw a glimpse of the sweet man I had always known Carlisle to be. "I understand. Maybe it'd be good if I started from the beginning?"

"If you would please, yes. You mentioned making a wish. What was the wish, and who did you ask for the wish from?"

"Actually, it sounds really stupid, and pretty unbelievable to me when I think about it. I was reading one of my favorite books, _Pride and Prejudice_ by Jane Austen."

Before I could continue, he interjected, "That novel was just published this year. I have heard of it."

I blinked a couple of times in shock. "Um. Yeah. It's considered a classic in my time. It's almost 200 years old," I said with a laugh, and a slight shake of my head. "As I was saying, I was reading about Lizzy and Mr. Darcy, and I thought it'd be so nice to live in that society. I found an eyelash, and when I was a little girl, my mom always told me to make a wish on eyelashes. So I did, and I wished that I could live in England during Jane Austen's time. I wanted to find a love like she wrote about. I honestly never expected it to come true. I feel asleep reading, and then woke up, sleeping against a building here. I don't even know what town I'm in!"

"Ware."

"What?" I asked.

"Ware," he repeated.

"Where what?" I asked again.

He looked at me for a moment before bursting into laughter. I was struck by how young he looked, and how nice it was to see a real smile on his face and hear him laugh. "I apologize, Miss Swan. I was trying to inform you of the town you are in. We're in the town of Ware, in Hertfordshire, England. It's a pretty town, full of gazebos."

"Gazebos?" He nodded and smiled at me. "You know, I don't think I've ever actually seen a real gazebo. Forks was too rainy, and Phoenix is a giant desert, so there's no need for gazebos there, either."

"Phoenix? I'm really quite sorry, Miss Swan, but I'm not quite following."

"I keep doing that, don't I?" I asked, slightly sadly. "You're still you, and you look exactly the same -well, apart from the frilly outfit- so I keep talking like you still know everything about me. It's my fault. I'm sorry; I keep forgetting that you've just met me." "Why don't you tell me about yourself, in that case?" Carlisle offered.

I did.

I found myself telling him all about Forks and how rainy it was. I told him about Renee and living in the desert, and how it seemed like I had lived two lives—one with my mother and her erratic nature under the dry heat of the sun, and the quiet life I lived with Charlie in the rainiest town in the United States.

I told him about my friends in Phoenix, and meeting with Charlie in California over the summers. Of course, I had to explain to him that divorce was shockingly common in my time, but that when I was married, I wanted it to be forever. I told him that he had a coven that was really a family. I refused to tell him any names, but I did tell him that I had become close to a few members, and had been in love with one of them. I even told him that I had wanted to become a vampire, but that they all had to move on before that happened.

By the end of my tale, I could tell that I had gained Carlisle's trust. He understood why I would have wished myself into a different time to find love like those in literature. He understood how I knew what I did, and though he continued to ask me who the members of his family were and their relationships, I couldn't tell him any more than I had. I didn't want to risk changing the future in any way. I began to yawn as I was telling him about what happened with James, and Carlisle pointed out that I didn't have to tell him everything in one night. A good night's sleep might do wonders for my outlook.

He showed me to a lovely room with a large four-poster bed, and gave me clothes in which to sleep. He promised we could go shopping in the morning, and purchase some new dresses and undergarments for me to wear.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here. I can't begin to tell you how much your generosity means to me. I know this is a rather crazy situation, and I really appreciate that you're willing to help me out."

"It is my pleasure, Miss Swan. I can easily understand how I would desire your friendship in the future, and am happy to provide it at present," he said with a small smile.

"If you really want to be my friend, can you do me one more favor? It's probably the biggest one I'll ask of you," I said.

"Certainly. I shall endeavor to fulfill it."

I smiled at him. "Can you stop calling me Miss Swan? I know I wanted to live in this time, but I really want to be just Bella. It's okay if you want to call me Miss Swan when we're around other people, because I know that's what's done. But when it's just us alone, can we drop the formality? I just need my friend."

He looked at me for a moment before smiling widely. "It'd be an honor, Bella. When we are at home, I'd be honored if you would call me Carlisle, as well."

I couldn't stop myself from flinging myself forward and hugging him. He had vampire speed, and could have dodged the hug, but I think he was too shocked to do so. After standing with my arms around his neck for a few moments, I felt his arms circle my waist carefully.

"I have to admit, Bella, that I think this is the first time any human has voluntarily touched me since I became what I am."

The statement made me so sad for him. Edward had always said that he was lonely for so long, but I'd never really stopped to consider that even though Edward had been without a mate for eighty years, Carlisle had been without true companions for centuries before he changed Edward. He'd been a vampire for about 150 years at this point, and didn't have anyone he could trust or confide in.

"I've always cared about you, Carlisle. I want you to be able to trust me. I know exactly who and what you are, and you're the most beautiful person I've ever met."

His grip around my waist tightened briefly, before he ended our embrace. I heard him whisper a quiet "thank you" into my hair as he let me go.

"Good night, Bella. I hope you sleep well."

"Thank you Carlisle. For everything," I replied with a smile. Before I could think about my actions, I stood on my tiptoes and placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

He smiled at me once more, and I crawled into my bed, losing myself instantly to sleep.

I dreamt again of Edward that night. I had hoped that the dreams would leave me since I was in a completely different time, and was disappointed that this was clearly not the case. I woke up screaming and crying again, trying to catch my breath to go back to sleep.

Before my breathing calmed, I felt a rush of air, and saw Carlisle sweep to my side. I looked at him with wide, tear-filled eyes, and he wordlessly gathered me into his arms and let me cry against him.

"Shhh, Bella. It was only a dream. You're safe. I'll keep you safe," he murmured.

He smelled wonderfully, like pineapples and sugar, and I let his scent calm me down. "Leaves me. Always leaving me," I murmured against his chest through my gasping breaths and tears.

"I won't ever leave you, Bella. I promise you that. I'll keep you safe."

I looked up at him, and was stunned at the pain and helplessness that I saw echoed on his beautiful features. "Can you… will you stay with me tonight? You don't have to hold me… just… stay?"

He nodded his head, and ran his hand through my hair as I settled back down against my pillow. The sensation of his hand running through my hair and the chill of his skin lulled me back to sleep.

I did not wake up again until the morning.

x-x-x

When I woke up, Carlisle was still sitting beside me on the bed, stroking my hair.

"Did you stay like that all night?" I asked. He smiled and nodded his head. "Weren't you bored sitting like this?"

"Actually, I found watching you sleep to be rather soothing. You looked so peaceful." He laughed lightly. "It has been a very long time since I have been able to sleep at all, and I found watching you sleep to be quite relaxing."

I blushed at the thought of Carlisle watching me sleep. When Edward had done so, it had seemed so intimate and romantic, and I wasn't certain how to reconcile the same act being perpetrated by the man he viewed as his father figure. Then again, I had always viewed Carlisle as a friend to me, and the Carlisle of 1815 did not seem paternal at all. I remembered Edward telling me that he was 23 when he was changed—which meant that he was only five years older than I was right now.

"How old do people think you are right now?" I asked curiously. He let out a single quiet laugh, and raised an eyebrow. I had a feeling that people were not so direct in their questions, and that many of the things I wanted to ask him would be considered rude. "I'm sorry. It's just, when I met you in 2010, you were pretending to be in your mid-thirties, and I thought I should know more about your cover if I am going to interact with people who know you."

"Well, I have actually been claiming to be my human age of 23; I had no reason to age myself more than that. I would like to discuss with you what your intentions are for the future, however."

I looked at him and searched his face with my eyebrows furrowed. I knew that he could sense my confusion, but I couldn't think of any appropriate answers to his question. I was still getting used to the idea that I was in 1815, and didn't appear to be going anywhere any time soon. "I don't understand," was the only response I could offer him.

"Precisely. I was considering our situation while you were sleeping. As a brief return to that topic, I would eventually desire to know what an email is, and why you need to send one to a cat, but there are more pressing topics to discuss. I don't know how broach this subject delicately, but I do not believe that you should be allowed to present yourself to society at the moment."

"You want me to hide from people?" I asked.

"I can appreciate why you would not enjoy doing so, but your manners and speech are not consistent with those of a reputable lady of this society should be. I have been known to travel for business from time to time in order to avoid social engagements. It is my recommendation that we claim that you are to accompany me on such a trip.

"During that time, I can tutor you in speech, carriage, and manners. You need to learn how a lady takes tea, table manners, and posture. You need instruction on dance; you will be expected to dance at any ball. In addition, a lady of breeding would be expected to be accomplished in the arts, such as drawing and music. Your posture is fairly atrocious, and the way you sat on my chair last night was vulgar.

"We also need to ameliorate your speech. Your accent clearly defines you as someone not of our country or time. Your grammar and syntax are difficult for me to understand. I believe this could become a problem if left uncorrected.

"Would you accept my instructions? If you are to continue living in this time, I think it would be best to give you a proper education on society, and you can enjoy yourself and interact with others. In the meantime, you can stay here with me."

I sat through his offer, my mouth hanging open, eyes wide, and barely blinking. All of my breath had rushed out of me when it occurred to me what he was offering. He was basically providing me shelter, and would help me become a functioning member of society. After my experience yesterday, it was clear to me that I needed as much help as he was willing to give.

"You would really do all that for me? I don't know if there's any way I could ever repay your kindness," I said, still dazed from the offer.

"Would you permit me to be frank for a moment?" I nodded. "I have been alone for well over a century, and have never met anyone who could accept me as an individual. The Volturi saw me as a curiosity, and though they were kind and offered me friendship, they believed that my choice not to kill humans was flawed and an aberration. I cannot permit myself to keep company with humans, because it would mean death if they were to discover my secret."

He took a deep breath, and examined my face before continuing. "You already know that I am a vampire, and yet you treat me as a friend, and have so eagerly placed your trust in me. You offer me seemingly unconditional companionship. I would prevail upon your generosity of spirit; it is only proper that I should provide some manner of passing time together that could be beneficial to both of us."

It was at that point that I saw Carlisle as a different man than the one I had known in 2010. I had obviously seen evidence to the fact, and logically knew that his circumstances were different, but had not really discerned what those differences were. The man I knew was kind and compassionate, and believed human life was to be treasured. He was a man who loved his wife and family completely, and would do anything to keep them safe and happy.

The man who sat next to me this morning in 1815 was much less sure of himself. He had friends, but they did not share his beliefs and tried to force him to betray his ideals. He immersed himself in society without allowing himself to make any lasting connections to anyone. He was forever alone, even while amongst a crowd.

My arrival provided him with something that he craved: a companion to share his life with, someone to trust. I provided him with a friend.

Armed with my newfound knowledge, I eagerly accepted his offer. That day, we went to town, where he bought me a number of dresses and other garments I would need. He purchased me shoes. By the end of the day, I truly looked like I belonged in a Jane Austen novel. I couldn't help but regret that her novels did not contain vampires. Each story could benefit from a character like Carlisle.

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**A/N: Next chapter will be up in a week or so. **


	3. 2: Lessons and Confessions

**A/N: A huge thanks to Bethaboo, my fuckawesome beta extraordinaire. You rock, B.**

**Also, AngelGoddess1981 made me a really beautiful banner for this story. It's linked on my profile. You should check it out-she's amazing and it's lovely.**

**Welcome new readers! I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm flabbergasted by the response I've gotten to this fic. This story sort of took over when I was trying to write a one-shot, and I'm glad that there are peeps willing to take this journey with me. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Never have, never will, but I do really like playing with SM's toys.**

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**Chapter 2: Lessons and Confessions**

We ended up leaving Ware while Carlisle instructed me on the ways of 1815 society, and went to what he called a small home he had in the small town of Royston. It was close to Ware, but comprised of mostly farmers, though there was no lack of businesses in the town's center. It was peaceful there, and the surrounding forests and lack of neighbors afforded Carlisle both the hunting he required, and the privacy we desired.

The house in Roysten was not a grand estate like Carlisle's house in Ware, but it was still larger than I would have anticipated a "farm" to be. It was definitely larger than Charlie's house in Forks, though I supposed that wasn't saying much. It had four bedrooms, which I found incredibly excessive, seeing as I was the only one who actually required a bed, and no bathrooms. I really didn't want to be accustomed to using chamber pots and outhouses, but seeing as I lacked the knowledge to invent indoor plumbing, I was simply going to have to make do.

We even had a well, which I resisted tossing coins in, as the thought of dirty money contaminating my drinking water was wholly unappealing. It was hard enough adjusting to the lack of showers, toilets, and faucets; I didn't need to make it worse.

The house itself was stately, and made of a gray stone. When I was younger, Renee would take me for drives in some of the nicer neighborhoods in Phoenix, and I would always prefer the stone houses. They just looked more majestic than their wooden counterparts. The yard was huge, and had a barn in the back to hold the animals. While Carlisle kept telling me it was a farm, I had a difficult time viewing such a lovely house as something as pedestrian as a farm.

We had three milk cows, a bull, a dozen chickens, and 5 pigs. I had named the pigs before I realized that they were one day going to be my dinner. Carlisle simply laughed at my expression when I figured out the truth; I may have cried when I comprehended that I would be eating Wilbur at one point. At least I knew that the cows weren't going anywhere. Bessie, Elsie, and Lauren were the females, and Bill was the male. Part of me felt a little mean for naming a cow after a person I didn't like, but it wasn't like Lauren would ever see her namesake. She'd be long dead.

I contemplated the thought that Lauren the cow was named after Lauren Mallory, but Lauren Mallory hadn't even been born yet. Part of me wondered if the cow was named after Lauren, or Lauren was named after the cow. It was sort of like the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg. Can a cow really be named after someone that wouldn't be born for over a hundred and fifty years?

There was a beautiful vegetable garden that the previous owners had started, which I quickly realized would be the source of most of my meals. If it was established that our farm could produce enough food for both Carlisle and I, we wouldn't need to go into town, and no one would be suspicious of Carlisle's lack of appetite. It was a way to limit the gossip in the town, and keep me away from the public eye until I was really able to blend in.

When I was little, I used to detest pavement. I can remember crying to Charlie because I had tripped, and scraped my hands on asphalt. What I didn't know then was that asphalt was actually one of the most incredible inventions. Someone as clumsy as I am should never walk on cobblestones. Or dirt roads and paths. It seemed that I was just as likely to scrape my palms on dirt and rock than I was on pavement—I just now fell twice as often due to the old-fashioned, uneven surfaces.

This presented a challenge at first for Carlisle. I would see his eyes turn black as soon as I would walk into a room with him, even if the skin was merely broken. I could see the hunger in his eyes, and he would stop breathing almost immediately before he regained his composure. It was odd to think of the man who had fashioned tourniquets and stitched my wounds in my past struggling with blood lust. At first, it was difficult to reconcile that my past was really his future. Eventually, Carlisle was able to handle normal scrapes. The first time he didn't tense up after a fall, he swept me into a hug, and I was dazzled by his joyous smile.

x-x-x

Carlisle stopped being the most perfect person I had ever met the day he started correcting my posture. I'd seen movies and read books in which the young ingénue must balance a book on top of her head as she walked. I had always assumed that this was an old wives' tale, but Carlisle proved that theory wrong quite quickly when he plopped a copy of the Bible on my head and had me take a turn about the room.

"Carlisle, I feel like a walking cliché."

"You are by no means a cliché, Bella. Proper posture is essential for a lady of good breeding to possess. You will be ridiculed in society if you continue to walk around in the manner of a hunchback."

"I'm not that bad! Maybe I'm not as straight as a rail, but it's not terrible!"

"I apologize if you feel I am insulting you. That is not my intention. However, most of your peers will be trained in a corset, which naturally improves posture. I will buy you a corset, but your balance needs to improve before I want to risk limiting your air supply in any manner."

"I think today's society is masochistic and barbaric. You're taking pleasure in this," I retorted bitterly.

"I can assure you I take no pleasure in this. I will appreciate the improvement in your balance and limiting the scent of your fresh blood around the house, but it is not due to any desire I have to see you uncomfortable. You wanted to blend in with society. Ladies do not slouch. They also do not trip as frequently as you do."

I groaned under my breath, and knew that he was correct. I had noticed how regally even the middle class carried themselves, and if I were to appear in Carlisle's acquaintance, I would need to look the part. It didn't mean I enjoyed it any more than I was before accepting this as fact, but I did realize that lashing out at Carlisle for helping wasn't fair. I needed to do this, and he was merely helping me. Snarking at him would only try his patience.

Even Carlisle's patience was not infinite.

Even in the less advanced world of 1815, living with a man who studied medicine was rather useful. Carlisle determined that my issues with balance was a somewhat circular problem. Apparently, if my upper leg muscles were stronger, my balance would improve. He had me stand on one leg in various positions. Sometimes, I mimicked a hamstring stretch, other times, I looked like a blue heron or a stork. As I stood, Carlisle would come and pull my shoulders back to correct my posture, and then place the Bible back on top of my head. It took all the self-control I had to keep the glare I wanted to give him behind my closed lids.

I couldn't fault his methods. I may have looked like a complete moron, but after a month of working on my posture, even I could tell that I stood much straighter. I basically had gained over an inch in height, which made me almost as happy as being able to blend in.

Corset training was surprisingly not as terrible as I'd been expecting. He started me off with a fairly loose corset, that he tightened every two days, until I was able to use a smaller corset. It would take months to wear the most appropriate corset for me, but with every step, my back was straighter, and he didn't need to manually adjust my slouch anymore.

After my posture was corrected, Carlisle taught me the formalities of greeting. I was to only address the people around me by their title and last name, and curtsey slightly and bow my head to acknowledge when someone was in my presence. I didn't have to do this multiple times in a group, but if someone joined the group, I would have to acknowledge that they had. There were so many little details to remember, and I was terrified that I would forget one.

To practice, every time Carlisle entered a room when we were not already together, I had to curtsey to him, and greet him as Mr. Cullen. It was strange to do after being in the habit of calling him Carlisle, but seeing him bow in return always made me smile. I had always respected and admired the man that Carlisle was, but seeing such a visible reminder that the respect was mutual warmed my heart. Behind the formality of his words and actions was a strong affection. Sometimes, I would catch him looking at me, and I could see a glint in his eye. He had been alone for so long that having a friend who he could trust was important to him.

He began telling me stories the second month we were in Roysten about his past. Edward had seen Carlisle's memory, and his description of the early days of Carlisle's vampiric life were accurate, but hearing about his swim across the English Channel was so much more interesting from Carlisle's point of view.

"In my human youth, I remember being frightened of water. It wasn't terribly unusual for people to drown in the Thames, due to the current. None of my family knew how to swim, so there was no one to teach me. It augmented the fear of drowning every time I was close to the water- even on a bridge. If I fell in, I would not likely survive.

"After being turned, I no longer needed to breathe. I had been horrified by what I had become, and wanted to end my life. In an attempt to do so, I jumped off the highest point of the London Bridge, into the Thames River, and tried to drown. It took me close to three hours of sitting on the bottom of the river before I became resigned to the fact that I would not be able to end my life in such a manner."

"You can only be killed if you're ripped to pieces and burned, right?" I asked.

"That is correct," he confirmed, tracing his fingers lightly along the scar on the inside of my wrist. "You have seen it, I take it."

"Yes. He was killed. I did not really see much of how he was destroyed, because it was after I was bitten, and I was badly wounded. My leg was broken, and I was bleeding from my femoral artery. You were the one to make sure I survived. You were my hero," I stated softly.

He smiled at me softly, before removing his hand from my wrist and continuing his story. "When I decided to leave England, I still did not truly know how to swim, but I knew I had to travel via water. I did not trust myself to take a ship, so I simply started walking underwater. It was really trial and error that afforded me the knowledge that pulling my arms along the water would propel me forward. Eventually, I realized that mimicking my actions with my legs created more speed, and I was swimming. I still stayed below the surface, but at least I was now traveling with more speed. It took me a few days to arrive in France, but I believe the delay was due to my propensity for examining the various ships that had sunken to the bottom of the channel. They were fairly fascinating to explore."

He fascinated me. The stories he had were the things of fairy tales or fantasy novels... perhaps even horror stories. He was nothing like Dracula, but he had met many vampires over his years that were.

"I wish I could see inside your memories sometimes- to see what you have seen. I'm certain it would be incredible."

"I doubt it would be that spectacular; I'd likely bore you if you knew all of my stories. I'd have no remaining manner in which to entertain you," he replied with a smile and a slight laugh.

"You're not some performing monkey, Carlisle. I just like the way you speak."

"That reminds me. I have been remiss in your instruction. You really must learn to mask your natural accent, and match my manner of speech. You will never be able to pass for a lady in society if you cannot speak like one."

He was right. I had not made enough effort to speak properly.

"It's easy for you, though. You already had an English accent," I pointed out needlessly.

"While that is true, grammar and syntax have changed considerably since my youth."

I considered that for a moment, and realized that he was right. He was a youth less than thirty years after Shakespeare was alive. His normal dialogue would have sounded like it had been lifted right out of one of Shakespeare's plays. Before I could respond to that, he continued.

"It is vital that I do nothing to draw any attention to myself. That includes my speech; it must adapt to match the current patterns and cadences. I will admit that it was likely easier task for me, as I have matched my language at the same pace speech has changed. I'll admit, it is easier to adapt continually than it is to change your manner of speech all at once. As a companion of mine, I would expect you to match your speech to my own."

"Of course. I would never want to expose you in any way," I replied sincerely.

The next day, Carlisle went into town, and purchased three books for me: _Pride and Prejudice_, _Sense and Sensibility_, and _Emma_, all by Jane Austen. "I thought that since you loved reading, it might be easier to immerse yourself in her words. Perhaps by reading them and conversing with me, you will naturally mirror how we speak."

"That's a wonderful idea, Carlisle. Thank you so much for thinking of this!" I immediately curled into one of my favorite chairs, and began reading _Emma_.

After about two weeks of reading the Austen novels repeatedly, and conversing with Carlisle, I had the vocabulary and sentence structure of 1815 England perfected. Unfortunately, my accent was still rather poor. I felt much like Eliza Doolittle, sitting in front of Henry Higgins, trying to parrot his speech, but only managing to become more and more frustrated. I took a moment to remember Renee and her fondness for anything Audrey Hepburn. She loved _My Fair Lady_, and would have me watch it with her at least once a week for about six months.

"The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain," I quoted.

Carlisle's head whipped around, and I met his eyes, as they were wide with shock. "Could you repeat that, Bella?"

"The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain," I repeated.

"That was perfect! I don't know why you chose to provide me with a report on Spanish weather, but that was exactly the right accent!" Carlisle exclaimed. I couldn't remember ever seeing him quite so excited about anything.

"I was simply quoting a musical that Renee enjoyed. The female lead is supposed to repeat back certain phrases, and when she does it correctly, she ends up singing a song about it."

Of course I broke out into said song, singing Professor Higgins's lines in a overemphasized baritone. Carlisle's smile was breathtaking, as he watched me dance around to the song I was singing.

"Do you know any more of the dialogue?" Carlisle queried.

"I believe I have most committed to memory." I proceeded to quote a few lines I remembered, and looked back at Carlisle. "Was that adequate?" I asked.

"Bella, even your last question was perfect. I feel as if I have been remiss in my instruction, but I believe this play is perfect."

I threw my arms up around his neck, and hugged him tightly to me. I was closer to being able to pass for an English woman, and Carlisle and I could return to Ware and explore the world that I had traveled back in time to see.

x-x-x

I woke up screaming, and Carlisle was sitting beside me on the bed, stroking my hair. We had been in Roysten for two months, and I had yet to sleep through the night. The nightmares of Edward leaving hadn't gone away, though his features were growing less defined with each passing dream.

I looked up at Carlisle's handsome face. I could barely make out his expression, as his features were cloaked in the darkness. I pulled on his lapels in order to draw him down close to me. He was still somewhat wary of being too close to me, though he had been hunting more often. I think his unease had as much to do with nineteenth century societal norms and customs as it did with blood lust.

I noticed he was allowing himself more freedoms physically than he had when I first saw him at the ball.

He allowed himself to be pulled down to my level, and carefully wrapped his arm underneath me. I placed my head on his shoulder, as he reached over with his other hand to begin running his fingers through my hair again. My tears ceased, and I felt significantly more comfortable.

"Were you left in the woods again in your dream, Bella?" Carlisle asked quietly. I sighed. I wanted more than anything to forget about the pain that Edward's departure had caused me.

"I'm sorry. I know you must be so tired of this. You really don't have to stay here with me every night. I'm sure you must have other things you want to do."

He smiled gently at me. "I don't know how to explain this, but it is as comforting to me as it seems to be for you. I know you've said that I will have the restraint necessary to practice medicine in the future, and I cannot begin to express my satisfaction pertaining to this news. I confess to be rather impatient, though. I want to help people, to heal people. I can't do that yet, but staying here with you makes me feel like I am making a difference."

I stroked his cheek with the back of my fingers, and reveled in the softness of his skin that belied the granite hardness of his body. Slowly and carefully, I moved my face closer to his, and I felt his breath cease long before I pressed my lips against his smooth cheek. I pulled back just as slowly, and smiled at him. I felt him begin to breathe again, and he answered with his own smile.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"To thank you. You're the best man I've ever known, and I am so grateful that I have you in my life."

He closed his eyes, and his smile widened. "That means more to me than you can know. Your good opinion is one I value above all others."

I could not doubt the sincerity in his words, and was touched by the sentiment. The lump in my throat returned, and I couldn't give him more of a response than a genuine smile, and tears filling my eyes. He briefly removed his hand from my hair as he touched my cheek, and brushed a tear that had escaped away.

"I wish I could remove your sorrow. I wish there was a way to heal it, like I could heal your body."

"You do. I'm a poor friend to you if you don't know how much your presence has meant to me over the last few months. You've taught me so much, and done so much for me. I don't just mean teaching me piano and dancing, either. You've cared for me, and been there for me. You've been wonderful, and you can't really see it, but I'm getting better."

He looked into my eyes, and I was certain that he saw that my words were as sincere as his had been. He took a deep breath, and searched my eyes again for a moment. "Bella? May I presume to ask you a question?"

"You can ask anything you want of me, Carlisle. As long as it's not about your future coven, you can ask me anything you want."

"Was it me who left you in the woods? Was I the one that caused these dreams?"

I sucked in a surprised breath and blinked a few times. I had not been expecting this question from him, at all. "Have I said anything that would give you that impression? I'm so sorry if I did…"

He shook his head quickly. "No. You've given me no reason to believe as much, but I have considered it a possibility regardless."

"I guess I don't know why you would think that," I said.

He smiled wryly before responding. "You've mentioned before that my coven had been close to you, and treated you as family, and left you. You've also implied that I was the head of this coven, and I can't imagine that I would agree to leave you alone, unless I was protecting you from myself." He stroked my cheek again before adding quietly, "I also cannot imagine knowing you, and not wanting to always be close to you."

I smiled in understanding. "We were friends, Carlisle, and yes, you and your entire family did leave, but while you may have broken my heart, you were not the one to shatter it completely."

His eyes slid shut, and one corner of his mouth pulled upwards. He drew a shuddering breath, and said, "I am both relieved and regretful simultaneously."

I cocked an eyebrow at his statement, and his eyes widened quickly before searching mine. "I regret causing you pain, but I am glad that I was not the one who caused these nightmares."

I knew that he was telling me the truth, but I could not help but think that he was only giving me part of it. There was something he wasn't telling me, but I seemed completely unable to figure out what it was.

I smiled at him, and snuggled deeper into the crook of his shoulder, curling my body closer around his. My eyes burned slightly from tears and exhaustion, and I was fighting to stay awake. "I don't think you could ever hurt me like he did. His features seem to be fading away in my dreams, though. I don't feel the same way I once did for him. The dreams will stop."

"You say that you don't feel the same way you had, but I haven't seen your nightmares ease at all," he pointed out.

"I think it's less about him leaving, and more about the fact that I was left at all." I couldn't suppress my yawn.

"What do you mean?"

"I just… I think I'll always be afraid of being left alone like that again. That I'm not good enough to stay with…" I said, yawning one more, and closing my eyes.

"Sweet dreams, Bella." I heard him say. "You are beautiful and wonderful. I do not think I could ever leave you," he murmured as I drifted to sleep. Before I was completely asleep, I thought I heard him add, "I doubt I could, even if you asked it of me."

x-x-x

It had taken Carlisle a couple of months to truly become comfortable dropping his human façade. I began to notice when I would walk past a room and see him standing in consummate stillness, his gazed fixed in front of him. Frequently, he would be so lost in thought that I was able to watch him for minutes -much like I would admire a fine work of art- before I would announce my presence. It took him longer to begin using his speed around me. I had told him that I was accustomed to how fast vampires could move, but he seemed hesitant to use his regardless.

We had been in Roysten almost three months before he showed me what he looked like in the sun. I had told him that I had previously witnessed the effects of the sun, but he still seemed wary of doing so for weeks. I finally confronted him about his reticence, and he admitted that he was afraid that I would find him unnatural and frightening. I assured him that I had only previously found the sparkling beautiful, and grabbed his hand before walking into the sunlight.

I had always compared Edward to Adonis in the past—the epitome of handsome and heroic. Seeing Carlisle in the sunlight, I couldn't help but compare him to Apollo, or Helios, the sun himself. He was like the sun, emanating beauty and warmth, despite the chill of his skin. Not even Edward could compare to Carlisle's radiance, and I momentarily wondered if the ethereal beauty of his diamond-like skin was a reflection of the beauty of the soul.

Using his speed was something that Carlisle tried not to show around me much at first, but he quickly learned that he could use it to startle me. It seems he enjoyed listening to me scream when I would walk into an empty room and light a candle, only to see him standing in front of me when he had not previously been.

After this pattern of intentionally scaring me continued for a month, I finally told him that if he insisted on continuing, he would also have to utilize his speed and strength to perform more household chores. This was particularly helpful in food preparation. He used his speed when it was time to butcher cows or pigs for my dinners; he would slaughter the animals, clean them, and prepare the different cuts for me in minutes. It was like having my own butcher.

The chickens, he learned, were where he had to be quickest.

When I was younger, there was a Chinese restaurant that served Peking duck. They would hang their ducks in the window of the shop before they were used, I believe in a somewhat misguided effort to show they had fresh meat. One day, I was going to pick up some takeout for Renee and I, when I made the mistake of looking up at the hanging birds. One of the ducks had only been partially feathered, and the image of the dead duck with some feathers stuck in the partially exposed skin had me running towards the nearest trashcan to throw up in.

I didn't eat meat for almost 6 years after that, until I woke up one morning with a craving for a bacon cheeseburger that would not be sated with Gardenburgers.

When I first told Carlisle this story, he laughed for a solid three minutes before agreeing to completely feather and clean the bird before ever bringing it into my sight. It was three months before I dared to prepare a chicken here, and I had forced Carlisle to go into town so he could see how to butcher the chicken for roasting, and then into individual parts. He went into town regularly to get ice, as I insisted in making something like a freezer/refrigerator to keep my food fresh. I didn't know how to preserve meats in salt, and Carlisle was generous enough to cater to me.

One day, about three months after we arrived in Roysten, I looked outside and noticed Carlisle catching a chicken for me. The sun was breaking through the clouds, causing him to appear to glow slightly. He moved quickly after selecting which chicken to butcher, and took the bird behind the barn to kill and clean it. He came into the kitchen minutes later and offered me the chicken for inspection.

"Does this bird meet your exacting standards, madam?" He asked playfully with a grin.

I looked over my chicken. "It is perfect, sir. I thank you for your efforts," I replied, smiling.

I grabbed a knife, and began cutting the chicken into sections to fry. I was in the middle of cutting through the leg joint when the knife slipped. The force I was using caused the sharp blade to sink deeply into my palm, and I smelled the rust and salt of my blood almost immediately. I quickly looked at Carlisle and noticed that his eyes were black and glinting obsidian, and he had ceased breathing. I fought against the urge to vomit and faint, and took slow, deep breaths from my mouth.

"Go outside. I will rinse this off and apply some pressure, and then you can return."

He looked torn for a moment, before slowly shaking his head. He slowly inhaled a breath, and gently drew my hand into his own. He inspected it carefully, pressing along the sides of the wound, before he clenched his eyes shut and opened them slowly.

"The blade cut too deeply. I need to stitch it closed, or it will not heal properly," he explained.

"Carlisle, you've not dealt with this much blood before. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I will be fine."

"Bella, I do not wish to hear any further arguments. This wound requires treatment, and I am fully capable of doing so."

I looked into his eyes, and was surprised at how soft and compassionate they were, despite their onyx color. I drew in and released a deep breath, and nodded my head. He led me to the basin, where he poured water from the pitcher over the cut. He released my hand for a brief moment and flashed over to grab a bottle of whiskey before pouring it over my cut to disinfect it. I flashed back to all the times I'd seen this done in old movies, and immediately regretted having laughed. It stung like a bitch, and I hissed in pain, feeling every bit a film cliché.

He ran away for a little longer, and returned with a needle and thread. He poured a little more whiskey over the needle, and began stitching the cut closed. I concentrated on his face, and was reminded of a similar situation when he stitched my arm on my birthday. His gaze held the same mixture of tenderness and concentration, and I remembered how I had always considered Carlisle to possess every quality you would desire a doctor to have. He was gentle, patient, intelligent, and thorough.

It was easy to forget that he was the same man that I had known in 2010. That Carlisle had been a father and doctor, and it was easy to see his three and a half centuries in his mature and calm demeanor. This Carlisle seemed the consummate gentleman; he was still kind and gentle, but despite the loneliness that he had lived with for over a century, he still had a certain youthful vitality that made him seem like a completely different man. Perhaps it was that he lacked the responsibilities as a leader and father that he held in the future. In 2010, he seemed like an old man trapped in a too-youthful body, yet I now found it difficult to imagine him passing for anything older than thirty.

I hadn't realized how long I had stood, lost in thoughts of his face, until he cleared his throat to draw my attention. I glanced down and my hand, and noticed that he had finished the sutures and applied dressing to it. I shook my head quickly, and looked back up to meet his eyes as I smiled widely at him. I slowly lifted my hand and placed it on his cheek, enjoying the smoothness and chill of his skin against the aggravated skin on my palm.

"You are an amazing man, Carlisle Cullen."

"I must admit that I was surprised at how easily I managed, but I knew I would never forgive myself if I had hurt you. I knew that being around you so much has certainly improved my control, but I never dreamed I would be capable of this so soon."

"I knew you could," I stated, before remembering that I had in fact doubted him before he insisted on stitching me himself. "I'm so proud of you," I whispered honestly.

"Thank you," he murmured in reply, smiling serenely.

He drew me into his arms, and I leaned my head against the firm nook between his shoulder and chest. He leaned his face against my hair, and I felt him nuzzle his nose against my hair before pressing a gentle kiss there. I felt his lips move, quickly, but could not make out his words.

"Bella?" Carlisle questioned, drawing away with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Yes?"

"Perhaps I should handle cutting up the chickens from now on."

I could hardly argue with that.

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**Chapter 3, the next update, will probably be up next weekend. Thanks for reading!**


	4. 3: Dances and Proposals

**A/N: Bethaboo is the world's best beta. She amazes me all the time. Also, thank you to GiveUsAKiss413 for pre-reading for me and lending me an extra set of eyes.**

**Thank you to everyone who has stumbled upon, read, reviewed, or recommended this story. I'm really touched.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I just like playing with these characters.**

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**Chapter 3: Dances and Proposals**

I was adamant about not changing the future. I had altered the course of Carlisle's future enough by simply traveling back in time and becoming his friend, and he seemed content with our friendship, and explained to me that he had faith in whatever the future held for us. Still, there were times when I worried that I was going to do something that would change Carlisle's future forever.

There was, however, a part of me that wondered if things couldn't still work out for the best if the future was altered in some ways. Carlisle and I had grown so close in the last few months. It was almost impossible not to, being in such close quarters, and cut off from the rest of society. The truth was, Carlisle and I simply got along extremely well. He was fun and funny—two things I had never really realized when I first knew him in 2010.

It was only six months into Carlisle's tutelage that I realized that Edward was no longer the man in my heart. While he had always tried to force me to experience human rites of passage like the prom and birthday parties that held no interest in me, Carlisle taught me how to dance, play the piano, and sing. He didn't simply place my feet on top of his and call it a good enough; he showed me how to do it properly.

x-x-x

"You know, Carlisle, I'm still not sure this is a good idea," I said.

He simply laughed and offered me a kind smile. He wasn't making fun of me—he was merely amused that I would attempt to use the same argument one more time. Last time I had said that, he had pointed out that it was the twenty-second time I had tried to convince him that teaching me to dance was a waste of both our time.

"I refuse to explain my position once again. While it is certainly true that you have a tendency to trip over your own feet, you do carry yourself with a quiet grace that lends itself well to dancing."

"I really think you are mistaken," I mumbled under my breath, aware that he could still hear me.

"There is little improvisation in country dances—you simply need to learn the steps, and you will always be able to follow. Ladies across the country learn these dances when they are young. If they can, you can. It will allow you to blend in when we attend balls once we return to Ware," Carlisle explained.

I bit my bottom lip, and felt a surge of power rush through my system when I noticed that his eyes were now trained on my mouth. Though he had hunted earlier in the day, I noticed his eyes were slightly darker than they had been before, and I couldn't help but hope that it indicated that he was attracted to me at that moment. I wasn't courageous enough to question him on it, but I was elated that he might have felt the same desire I held for him.

I nodded my head, and he began to show me the steps to a dozen different dances. Many of them held the same element, he explained, but the order in which they were performed was specific to each dance. He made certain that I was doing each step correctly before he allowed me to move on to the next. I was amazed that after only a few hours, I had the basics down.

That is, until he told me that the waltz was commonly played, and it would be wise to learn it. I reluctantly agreed, and he took one of my hands in his own, and drew the other around his shoulder before placing his own on my back. Though he sat next to me every night, and frequently held me close, being so close to him always felt amazing.

Edward had frequently dazzled me, and he smelled wonderful, but Carlisle's scent was delicious. I wanted to cover him with coconut milk and create my very own piña colada to remove with my tongue. It would be the most sublime intoxication. I found myself wondering if he tasted as delicious as he smelled, though I doubted he would consent to allow me to ingest his venom voluntarily.

Being held by Carlisle felt so wonderful, so right. I felt safe and secure in his arms, as if he would always be there to support me. Instead of simply telling me that should do something and throwing me in without preparation, he guided me and taught me how. He made me feel special, and he held me as if I were something precious, but not breakable.

I hadn't realized that while I was lost in thought, he had been leading me in a waltz, and I was dancing with him. I smiled brightly after I looked down at my feet and back at Carlisle's feet. His smile matched my own.

"I'm dancing, Carlisle!" I exclaimed.

"Yes you are, Bella… quite well, in point of fact," he replied happily.

I couldn't stop myself from breaking my hold on him and throwing my arms around his neck, holding him even closer to me. He slipped his arms around my waist, and returned the embrace. "I can't believe I can dance!"

"I knew you could, Bella. You're too beautiful and graceful not to," he replied.

I pulled back slightly to look at his eyes, and was stunned by the desire and happiness I saw in them. My breath caught in my throat, and I noticed once again just how beautiful Carlisle was. I had noticed it the first time I saw him, of course, but I always seemed to forget how ethereal and achingly lovely he was.

Whereas I had always been aware of just how beautiful Edward was, it was almost easy to overlook Carlisle's appearance; his soul was so pure, so good, and so loving that even his flawless physical beauty could not compare.

We stood with our arms still wrapped around each other for what seemed like an hour, but was likely only minutes. I could not tear my eyes away from his. They held me captive, like a cobra charmed by a song, and I wanted to discover all the secrets to his melody. Even as his eyes darted once more to my mouth, I could not shift my gaze. His gaze darkened once more as I quickly ran my tongue along each lip, wetting them before parting them slightly. My heart was pounding a quick rhythm, and my breath became faster and slightly shallow.

I was torn between wanting his gaze to remain on my lips, and wanting him to look back at my eyes, so I could communicate how much I wanted to kiss him. I felt his cool breath fan my face just as quickly as my own. My breath hitched and stopped as he began to move his mouth closer to mine. My eyes began to slip close, just as he shook his head suddenly, and removed himself from my arms.

He had wanted to kiss me, I was certain. However, whether he wanted to or not, he had stopped himself, and I could not help being disappointed. Still, I now knew that he did desire me, and even if he refused to act on it, knowing that he wanted me in the same way I wanted him made me feel incredible.

That night was the first night that I had no nightmares of Edward Cullen.

x-x-x

He so effortlessly bridged the knowledge gap between us. I felt strong and beautiful. I felt worthy of being the companion to someone like Carlisle. James and Victoria had called me a pet of their family, and I had never before realized how apt the description was. I had been such a foolish teenager without even realizing it. I had wanted nothing more from my life than becoming a vampire and being with Edward.

I'd like to think that I had every intention of graduating high school and college once I became immortal, but the truth was, I didn't have any other desire to do more with my life. Some people know what they want to do with their lives in high school. Never having to ever grow up was a terrible aspiration to have, if one could even call it that.

Now, Carlisle had offered the world to me, and I was eager to take it. He filled my head with places I wanted to go, and things I wanted to do. When I was with Edward, I didn't need to think about what career I could possibly want. He was going to repeat high school and college forever, so I would do the same. In retrospect, I couldn't believe how easily I was ready to give up my own future for him.

I still wanted to become a vampire. After Edward left, I thought that being a vampire would be terrible without him. Now, I realized that I could do so much more with my life if I were to become one. I could be a doctor like Carlisle after a while. I could be a firefighter. I could be a writer. I could be a teacher. There were so many possibilities, and now that I was older, I could become any of these things. With an eternity to live, I could become _all_ of these things.

As much as I convinced myself otherwise, I could not deny the fact that I wanted to become a vampire so that I could stay with Carlisle. I had accepted the fact that he meant more to me than just a friend. He was destined to mate with Esme, but I knew that I was in love with him.

x-x-x

I was always amazed at how well Carlisle was able to read my moods. I had always known that Edward's talent was for reading other people as a human, which was why he could read minds as a vampire, but I found that he relied so heavily on his gift that he was unable to tell what I was thinking or feeling. He hadn't discovered that I would clench my teeth together when I was truly irritated, but failed to do so when I was mildly annoyed. While anyone could tell when I was lying, he was never able to discern when I was only providing him with part of the truth.

Carlisle could simply glance at me, and know what I was feeling. At times I thought he might have also had a bit of Jasper's gift, the way he was always able to calm a room with his presence, but I quickly learned that this wasn't the case at all. He was able to calm a room because his innate goodness and compassion could soothe anyone's nerves. He was able to gauge my moods so well because he took the time to observe my actions and reactions, and cared enough to learn them.

I was continually surprised by his accuracy, but never more so than when he accurately discerned that I missed my family.

"You seem somewhat melancholy and wistful today. Is there anything you want to talk about?" He asked.

"Yes… and no. I miss Charlie and Renee," I replied with a sigh.

"It has taken me months to become accustomed to the manner in which you address me by my given name. I fear that I may never properly adjust to you doing the same with your parents."

I couldn't suppress the giggle that spilled out from my lips. "You should see Charlie's face when I slip and do it to his face." I smiled at the memory of his face warring between amusement and exasperation. "I've accepted the fact that I'm not going home, and I've been very happy here with you, –I hope you know that- but I am terrified that I am going to forget my old life. I don't want to forget my family."

Before I could blink, Carlisle's arms were gently wrapped around my shoulders. He was leaning his face in my hair, and I could feel his cool breath on the top of my head. I couldn't be certain, but it felt as if he were pressing one long kiss there. Neither of us spoke as he continued to hold me, seeming to know that I just needed a little comfort.

Apparently, while I was basking in the feel of his body against mine, he was actually thinking. "You could write down everything you can remember about your life. Start with your earliest memories as a little girl, and try not to leave anything out. You can talk about different events, as well as how they made you feel. Describe your parents, and what you love most about them—as well as what frustrates you about them."

I considered his suggestion for a moment, before I realized I kept returning to the same conclusion. "That is perfect, Carlisle. Then, even if they do fade from my memory, I'll have something to refer back to."

"Precisely," he confirmed with a nod.

"I seem to be lucky in that I remember a good deal from my human life, but I still wish I had thought to keep a journal as a human. Even if I had written down my memories when I was first changed, I could have retained more of them. I find myself frequently lamenting the fact that I cannot clearly remember my mother."

"You know, you haven't ever really told me much about your human life. Will you do so now?" I asked.

"If you so desire, then certainly. As you know, I grew up in London in the middle of the seventeenth century. My father was a very religious man, who believed there were monsters in this world. He wanted to purge the world of evil, and while his methods were not ideal by any measure, his aim was noble. He killed many innocent people in his quest to rid the world of evil, but he was a good man with honorable intentions. I went searching for a vampire myself because I wanted him to be proud of me, and to bring success to his cause.

"My mother was a sweet woman. She was a very proficient seamstress, and her dresses and shirts were well sought-after. We were of noble blood and quite comfortable financially, but she truly enjoyed her craft, so my father encouraged her to pursue it. She was a very loving woman, and could always be found smiling. She died while in childbirth, though. I didn't have any brothers or sisters because my mother died so young. All I knew about my mother was from the stories my father would tell me of her. He missed her very much—I don't think he ever fully recovered from her passing."

He had paused, and I wasn't certain if he was finished with his story, but my heart had begun to race. He turned and raised his eyebrows at me, and I drew a deep breath before asking the question that had been tugging at the back of my mind. "Were you married as a human?"

He smiled at me, and shook his head. "No. I was to follow the same path as my father had and join the clergy. While it is acceptable for reverends to marry now, they generally do so after they have found their patrons and parishes. If I had been fully ordained, it is possible I would have wed, but I had not yet begun the betrothal process."

"Were you in love with anyone? Did you have any sweethearts?"

Carlisle laughed at my question. "Of course I did not. My father was far too strict to ever consider relations with a woman outside of marriage, or at the very least, an engagement. I honestly do not remember any women in my life as a human."

I didn't know why his answer had relieved me as much as it had, but I couldn't deny that it had set me at ease. He had been married to Esme for decades, and was destined to marry her, but I couldn't help the part of me that envied her and wanted Carlisle to love me in that way.

"Thank you for telling me about your family. It means so much to me. I wish I could tell you more about my own, but I'm so afraid of influencing the future," I said with a small and slightly sad smile.

"I understand why you cannot. I promise you that I will not read your journals unless you offer them to me."

His offer briefly surprised me, until I realized that it shouldn't have. Edward would have been desperate to see what I had written about him and about my life, and tried to convince me that withholding information about the future could place me in some sort of danger. Carlisle trusted me to make my own decisions, as well as my judgment. I felt empowered, and grateful for the faith and trust Carlisle held in me.

I began to write later that day, and I had almost filled the book within a week. As I read over my thoughts pertaining to the Cullen family as it known it in 2010, I realized that my perceptions and observations had been colored by my current relationship with Carlisle. It wasn't only that I found myself describing our interactions in more detail than those with Alice or Edward, it was that I had gained so much perspective on my life since meeting him in 1815, that I could not help but observe my past with new eyes.

In every mention of my family, I had included to a story or thought about Carlisle. He had become such a large part of my life, that I found it impossible to document my past without finding a way to incorporate him into it.

With that thought, I closed the book for a moment, and ran down the hall to his study, knocking once, and entering before he could even respond.

"Bella…" he began to question.

I cut him off quickly. "I hope you know that you are my best friend, Carlisle. You have completely altered my life, and shown me the potential that it could have. I don't think I could live my life without you in it, and I know I don't want to try. The proof of all this is in the pages of my journal."

His smile was small, and he wasn't showing any teeth, but his golden eyes were dancing with happiness. "I feel I must admit the same as you, Miss Swan. Bella, I'd been miserable, lost, and profoundly lonely until you approached me at the ball. Since that moment, you have changed the course of my life irrevocably, and have come to be the one person in my life whom I feel I can truly be myself around. You understand me in ways that no one else ever has, and I thank God every day that he saw fit to bring you into my life. My life would not be the same without you in it, either."

He brushed a tear that had fallen in response to his words, and he leaned forward and gently kissed my forehead. My eyes slipped closed, and I reveled in his touch.

"Does this mean you'd consider changing me some day?" I asked.

"If you chose to be my companion for this eternity, I would be honored to change you. I couldn't wait almost 200 years to see you again, only to lose you once again. I value our relationship far too much to do so."

I noticed that he chose the word relationship instead of friendship, and I couldn't squash the swell of hope that found its way into my heart. I knew that I loved Carlisle as more than a friend, and the thought that he could feel the same warmed my heart immensely.

Touched by his words once again, I could find no words more fitting than a quiet "thank you." His answering smile adequately conveyed the gratitude and happiness he felt—it perfectly matched my own. I was exhilarated with the thought of becoming a vampire, and sharing an eternity with Carlisle…even if I was only ever his friend.

x-x-x

Carlisle was the most incredible person that I had ever met, and I could not help but cherish every moment I spent with him. It also helped that I found him to be the most handsome man I had ever met. Edward had been beautiful, but he was still very much a boy. Carlisle was easily as beautiful, but much more developed. He was a man, and an extraordinarily handsome one, at that. Even if I could never have his love in return, I wanted to spend an eternity by his side as his friend. I could be content as long as he was a part of my life in some capacity.

We had been taking a walk by a nearby pond, with me completely lost in my own thoughts, when he cleared his throat to gain my attention. "Bella? I have a question to ask of you, and I am uncertain of its reception." I inclined my head to indicate that he should proceed. "We have been at Royston for over a year now, and I believe you are ready to be introduced to society."

Even I could acknowledge that I was ready to be among people. There was no longer a trace of my accent, and my speech easily mirrored that of any lady with a proper education. I hadn't made any strange requests for computers for months. I knew how to dance, and was proficient at playing the piano and singing. I could easily fit in at any society function with ease.

"You wish to return to Ware, Carlisle?"

He nodded with a smile, and squeezed the arm that was threaded through his own. "I do. However, my conscience would not permit me to do so without being completely honest with you. I have endeavored to convince myself that I was mistaken, and that I could not trespass against your trust, but I can no longer deny my feelings. Bella, the truth is, I am in love with you, and would desire nothing more than to marry you when we return to Ware."

We had completely stopped walking, and I could not seem to draw breath. I knew he could hear my heart hammering in my chest as I tried to remember how to speak.

"You love me?" was the only sentence I could force to leave my lips.

"You know about vampires, Bella. I'm not certain that you're well educated in what happens when a vampire falls in love, though. A vampire is frozen in time, and we are not susceptible to alterations of character. The only force strong enough to coerce any sort of change is love. The love I hold for you has changed me so completely. I had been alone and withdrawn from everyone. I was unhappy all of the time, and the way the Volturi treated me filled me with uncertainty.

"When I met you, I gained confidence in myself, and was able to see not only what I could offer the world, but also what the world can offer me. You have filled me with such passion for life, and make me believe that I am capable of anything. You make me a better man than I had ever hoped to be, and I will love you as long as I walk the Earth.

"A vampire's love is unbreakable, unalterable, and permanent. I will never love another, and I could not bear it if I had to face an eternity without you by my side. Marry me, Isabella Swan, and let me change you as my mate, so that we may be together forever."

I could neither prevent the tears from streaming down my cheeks, nor the smile that overtook my features. Edward had told me about the way vampires mated for life, and that the only way they could change was through love. I had witnessed the change in Carlisle for myself, and I knew that he truly did love me. I didn't know what it meant for the future if he would never fall in love with Esme, but I knew that I was his mate, and he was mine.

"Yes, Carlisle. I love you with everything that I am, and everything that I will be, and desire nothing more in this world than to be your wife!"

His answering smile was both blinding and brief, as his lips quickly came down and found my own. I had been kissed by Edward before, but none of his kisses had felt so electrifying. This kiss was not chaste, and I felt his cold lips as they molded and moved with my own. I felt him open his mouth to me, and I met his tongue with my own; neither of us could contain our moans of pleasure at the feeling. I needed to taste more of him, and allowed my tongue to enter his mouth more fully.

It was heaven -absolute and complete bliss- kissing Carlisle like this. I could feel how much he loved me in the way he held me firmly yet gently to him. He tasted much like he smelled—like brown sugar and pineapples, and I could not get enough of that flavor. I was lost in the sensation of our kiss until I was jolted to reality by a sharp sting and the taste of copper invading my mouth. I heard Carlisle groan in pleasure before he ripped himself out of my arms with a look of terror on his face.

I knew instantly what had happened. Edward had always refused to French kiss me because he was worried about the damage his sharp teeth could impart, as well as the amount of venom in his mouth. I had always thought this was a clever excuse to keep me at arms length—but I was quickly discovering that he had perhaps been correct in his caution. I had cut my tongue on Carlisle's teeth, and I could taste both the blood in my mouth, as well as the venom working its way into my bloodstream.

I looked at Carlisle, and was certain that my expression matched the one of wide-eyed panic on his face. I took a breath, which did nothing to ease the pain I felt, and thought for a moment. We both wanted for me to become a vampire, and while the timing may not be ideal, we were in a secluded area.

"Carlisle. Don't panic. We both want for me to become a vampire. Let the change happen. I am happy about this, as long as I will still have you when I wake up. We can stay here in Roysten until I am ready to be around people."

He kissed my lips, licking my blood off of his own when he ended the kiss, and nodded his head. I could still see the panic in his eyes, but I could also see his resolve. "I love you, Bella, and will forever."

"I love you, too, Carlisle."

He brought his lips down to my neck, placed a kiss at the base, and bit into my artery. I felt a slight pulling sensation as he removed some blood, and then felt an increase in pain as he pushed more of his venom into my system. When he pulled away, he licked the wound shut. He repeated the process on the other side of my neck, my wrists, and my ankles. I felt him tear at my undergarments right before he bit my femoral artery, and repeated his action on my other thigh. Despite the burning of the venom that I felt, his actions were shockingly erotic. The last thing he did was return to my mouth, where he kissed me and sucked on my tongue to close the wound there.

I felt him carry me back to our home, and he placed me in bed. I felt him lay down next to me, and pressed my heated flesh into his coldness. In the next three days, I contained my screams, not wanting him to worry, though I could not prevent myself from tearing my clothes off, needing to be cooler, and free of their confinement. Carlisle stayed with me for all three days, as I writhed in agony, cooling me down with wet towels and his cold body.

I had thought that since I had felt the burn of James's venom once before that I would be prepared for the pain. The burn in my veins was no different than what I had felt before, but the amount that Carlisle had used seemed to fan the flames. Every nerve ending felt as if it was being scorched, and only the coolness of Carlisle's body seemed to alleviate the pain. It had been a vainglorious fancy to think that it would be easier for me simply because I knew what I was getting myself into.

After what could have been hours or day, I could feel the coolness of Carlisle's body begin to fade; I was becoming colder. He began to feel harder, and I realized that my flesh was becoming like his—cold and hard. It felt as if every muscle, every ligament was being squeezed with a vice, but I was already beginning to notice that my skin was much more sensitive.

Carlisle continued to murmur into my ear. I could hear his words clearly, but was in too much pain to interpret what he was saying. The only thing that could permeate my consciousness was when he said, "I love you."

When I felt my heart speed up just before it finally stopped, I felt Carlisle's grip on me strengthen. He was still with me, his presence more of a comfort than anything else. When the pain left my body, and I could no longer feel my heart beating, I drew a deep breath, and opened my eyes to a whole new world; I was finally a vampire.

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**A/N: Next chapter will be up next weekend-probably Friday, and Bella's a vampire!**


	5. 4: New Experiences and Hunting

**A/N: My fantastic beta, Bethaboo, continues to prove that she is made of awesome. Thanks to GiveUsAKiss413 for pre-reading, as well-your comments help so much.**

**I'm gonna go ahead and warn you that there are lemons in this chapter. Please don't read them if you're under 18. There's an A/N at the bottom that I'd appreciate if everyone would read. **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight, but I won't let that stop me from playing around with the characters.**

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**Chapter 4: New Experiences and Hunting**

I had wanted to become a vampire since I had first realized that I loved Edward Cullen. The desire had only increased when I found myself falling in love with Carlisle Cullen. I had wanted to know what it was like to know that you would never lose the one you loved, and never had to be separated from them. I wanted to know what it was like not to have to worry about getting sick, being in a car crash and dying, or even just growing old.

I suppose that's why the world has always been a bit obsessed with vampires—to be beautiful and young forever. That's the dream, isn't it?

I felt blessed once again that Carlisle had no compunctions in changing me. He knew that if our relationship, even if it were to remain strictly a friendship, was to have any future, I would need to become a vampire. The way he had chosen to live his life had clearly demonstrated that he was not, in fact, a soulless monster. He had the most beautiful soul of any man I had ever met, human or vampire, and he did not view his life as an abomination. While we had planned on waiting a little while to change me, I could not find it in myself to regret that I was finally a vampire.

As I opened my eyes and met Carlisle's golden gaze, I could feel a rush of love, elation, and relief flow through me. In that moment, I knew that Carlisle felt the same way I did. I had known that he wanted me as his mate, and that he wanted me to become a vampire, but the love and joy his eyes shone with told me that he needed this as much as I had, and regretted nothing.

I knew I was staring at his eyes, but it was difficult for me to tear my gaze from his. They were stunning. I had spent months looking into Carlisle's golden eyes, yet I had never noticed the subtle shine that they had, like flecks of copper, nor that they had flecks of amber, as well as jade, sapphire, and ruby. They were so much more deep and complex than I had ever fathomed before, and I realized that I was now seeing with enhanced vampiric vision. They were captivating.

I finally allowed my gaze to widen, and I finally took in Carlisle's face. He was so incredibly handsome, but apart from a slight opalescent sheen to his skin, I was glad that he looked relatively the same. I didn't want Carlisle to look any different; he was already incredibly handsome in my estimation. I hadn't realized that I was smiling broadly until I saw his face break out in a smile of his own. The contentment that was pouring from his expression was astounding. I could practically hear him say, _"Bella, I love you, and am so glad that you are happy and mine."_

I drew in a breath, and was momentarily startled to realize that it was the first breath I had taken. The strength of my senses momentarily stunned me, as I could now taste the smells around me. Most overwhelming was the scent of Carlisle, whose pineapple and sugar smell still created a desire within me to lick every inch of is skin. I could also smell the wood of the dressers, and linen of the bed sheets. I could smell the cotton of our clothing and the leather of our shoes. I was even capable of tasting the actual air around us. I was momentarily overwhelmed, but catching the scent of Carlisle managed to calm me before I panicked.

I opened my senses fully, and became aware of just how sensitive my hearing was. I could hear the stillness of the house, as well as the rustle of the grass, and the wind blowing through the trees outside. I could hear Carlisle's soft breathing, and I instinctively knew that it would have been inaudible if I were still human. I could even hear several thrumming heartbeats of small birds and animals outside, though I quickly decided not to think about those sounds, as I thought I might immediately want to drink them, and having a first meal of a sparrow or squirrel sounded fairly awful.

I reached my fingers out to touch his face, and was amazed at how smooth and soft his skin was. I had been accustomed to his body feeling hard and unyielding, but now he felt the same as anyone else did, and I realized that it was because my own flesh was as strong as his, and my strength as great. His eyes slipped closed as I dragged my fingertips down the side of his face, savoring the silken feel of his skin. He sighed quietly and contentedly, and when he opened his eyes again, I could see a spark of lust ignite within him.

Suddenly, the air around us changed, and I could feel a buzzing of electricity charge the air around us in anticipation. He had once again captured me in a spell, and, for once, I refused to even try to resist. I slid my hand to the back of his neck, and captured his lips with my own, moaning immediately as the electricity charging the air seemed to localize as a current running wherever our bodies connected.

My skin was so much more sensitive, as the lightest touch registered in some part of my mind. I felt the pads of his fingertips ghost along my arm, causing me to shiver. His own skin no longer felt like ice against mine, and his touch felt warm against me, even as it ignited fires within me. Our kiss was neither rough nor rushed, as we both seemed to be savoring the sensations of our newly compatible bodies.

When I sighed slightly, he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. I couldn't help but giggle slightly. He pulled back, and after pouting about the fact he had stopped kissing me, I said, "I was remembering the last time we did this. At least we don't have to worry about the same thing happening again."

He smiled, and replied, "I must admit that I didn't expect that to happen. I have felt terrible that I hadn't anticipated that outcome—I should have. However, I cannot force myself to regret your change. I wish I could have spared you the pain of the transformation, yet I am so glad that you are here with me, forever. You're happy, aren't you?"

I looked at him for a moment. I had thought at first that he had asked the question in jest, but looking into his eyes, I could detect a slight uncertainty. "Carlisle. I am in love with you. I have wanted to share my life with you in every way, and to spend an eternity by your side. I do not think it's possible for me to regret becoming a vampire."

He smiled once more at my reassurance, and brought his mouth down to mine once again. His kiss was full of such delicate tenderness and consummate passion, and even though I could no longer be dazzled as his prey, I had become drunk on his kisses. Even as I focused on the feel of his lips, my newly expanded mind was aware of slight changes within my body since the last time we had kissed. Though it felt the same texturally, I now had venom in my mouth instead of saliva. My heart no longer beat frantically and erratically when Carlisle kissed me. I no longer had to pull away from his kisses to breathe, though I certainly still had the compulsion to do so.

I gasped as his hands left my arms and his fingertips traced along my collarbones, and I could not suppress the shiver that ran down my spine. I moaned lightly into his mouth, which continued to caress my own. He took my bottom lip between both of his, and lightly dragged his teeth along the sensitive flesh. His touches were still quite restrained, yet every touch of his fingertips and lips resonated throughout my entire body, before I felt desire rest low in my stomach.

I had certainly felt desire as a human, but as Carlisle dragged his hands down my sides, ghosting along the sides of my breasts, and I felt lust infect the atmosphere around us. I broke away from his lips so I could look into his eyes. Through them, I knew that he was as unable to stop the natural progression of our actions as I was, and his eyes communicated his love for me. I had loved him as a human, but the love I felt now was heightened, and I knew, without a doubt, that this was our destiny. We were mates, and nothing could separate us.

"Please, Carlisle. I need you. Please, make love to me," I plead.

He kissed me once more quickly before he replied. "I love you. Would you not prefer to be married before intimacy?"

"I know that it is custom, but we have never truly been traditional. Before you say anything, let me explain, please." I said as I caught a glint in his eye that bespoke a desire to argue. "Though I now can act according to the customs of this society, I am not of this time, and within the sanctuary of our home, you have never treated me as if I were. From the first night, you agreed to call me by my given name, and I knew the comfort of your touch as you soothed my nightmares. We have never been traditional. We cannot be married until I can be trusted to keep company with humans without attacking them, no matter how much we may desire otherwise. I know in my heart that I love you, and that you love me. We can take care of formalities later, but I don't think that denying our mutual desires would serve any beneficial purpose."

I could feel his hesitancy swirl around him, and wished I could quell all his fears, yet knew I could not. He had changed when he fell in love with me, and I knew he was more progressive in his thoughts than he had previously been, but I knew that the customs of society were still ingrained in his mind. To be honest, I doubted that I would want him any other way. I had made the silly wish that took me to 1815 because I was in love with these customs. I was in love with the manner of speech, and the gentlemen that exemplified the society. I wanted to find my own Mr. Darcy or Colonel Brandon. I had never anticipated that I would find love in the form of Carlisle Cullen, but I most certainly had.

"I will marry you, Isabella Swan. I intend to spend the rest of my life with you. I will make an honest woman of you."

"You will. I will marry you as soon as we are able, and I will spend an eternity as your wife," I assured him.

While I could still sense his reservations, I also could tell that he was giving in to our mutual desires. We loved one another, and nothing would separate us. Before I could continue my thoughts, his mouth was on mine once more. I felt a flutter of nerves, knowing that I had never been with a man before, but I knew that he was as innocent as I was, and was most likely as nervous as I was.

I had torn off my dress and corset while I was changing, so I allowed my hands to reach out and remove his shirt. When I caught sight of his broad chest, my breath caught in my throat. He was well muscled, despite being on the thinner side. He had well-defined stomach muscles, and my fingers were tracing the ridges between them before I had even considered the movement. He moaned as I did so, and I delighted in my ability to make him produce such sounds.

I began unbuttoning his trousers, but was quickly drawn from my task as his mouth trailed down my neck. He licked my collarbone before he dipped his head lower, and began kissing down between my breasts. He ran his tongue along the side and front of my breast, and then drew my nipple between his lips. A constant low rumble ripped through my throat, and I realized with a start that I was actually purring.

I had heard the Cullens growl, hiss, and snarl on several occasions, but I had never known that vampires could purr. Before I could contemplate the various feline qualities that vampires seemed to possess, a cool air hitting my thighs reminded me of the fact that I was completely naked in front of Carlisle. He had drawn up from my breast, and was now hovering above me.

"Bella," he moaned. "You are so incredibly beautiful." I saw his eyes rake over my body, and could feel his desire permeate the air around us. I ran my eyes down his body once again, and noticed that he had finished removing his trousers and undergarments, and was naked in front of me, as well.

I had never seen a naked man before, and had expected to be nervous about seeing him, but as I looked into his eyes, I couldn't find anything but joy and anticipation inside of me. His gaze held nothing besides love and adoration, dispelling any anxiety I may have felt. This was about expressing the love we felt for one another in the most powerful way.

I hadn't really considered reaching out and drawing my fingers along his length, but I somehow found myself doing so, and heard him begin to purr as well. I found his mouth once more, which brought our naked chests together. The rumbling of our purrs created a pleasant vibration that caused my arousal to heighten even further. He brought one of his hands down across my stomach before they ventured lower.

His fingers ran along my wetness, and he groaned as he felt me for the first time. He pressed his fingers gently inside of me, as he began to circle my most sensitive flesh with his thumb. I continued to trace my fingers up and down his length as he kissed me and touched me, sometimes circling my fingers along his ridge lightly. We were both moaning and purring, and before long, I felt the muscles in my lower abdomen begin to tighten, and I knew I was getting close. I broke my mouth away from his, and buried my face against the crook of his neck and shoulder. As the muscles inside of me began to pulse, pleasure rushed through the rest of my body like water being freed from a dam. I heard Carlisle hiss above me, and realized with a start that I was so caught up in my release that I had sunk my teeth into him.

I quickly ran my tongue along the mark, and was embarrassed. Carlisle immediately caught the look in my eye, and soothed my fears. "It's instinct for us to mark our mates, Bella. It doesn't really hurt, so please don't feel badly."

"I didn't even realize I had done that until I heard you hiss. It may be instinctual, but I still feel badly for hurting you," I replied.

"Bella. You suffered through the pain of transformation for me; I can handle a bite," he responded with a smile. I could sense his sincerity, and knew that he had expected my action, and was not upset with me.

Before I could dwell upon what had happened, he removed his fingers from inside of me, making me wish for nothing more than for him to return them. Instead, he captured my lips in another kiss, before he murmured, "I love you," against my lips. Before I could further mourn the loss of his fingers, I felt him against me.

"I love you, Carlisle. Forever," I told him, gazing into his eyes. He smiled lightly as he began to push inside of me. It was slightly uncomfortable as I adjusted to the intrusion, but the knowledge that this was Carlisle, _my mate_, brought me pleasure. I caught the look in his eyes that told me that he felt an overwhelming pleasure at being inside of me. He pressed forward, until he seemed to stop for a moment before flexing his hips forward, and sheathing himself fully within me.

The room was thick with passion, love, and desire, and the sounds of our purrs and soft moans echoed throughout the chamber. As the pain and discomfort faded, I wrapped my legs around his waist, which drew him deeper inside of me. As we continued to rock against each other, I allowed myself to acknowledge how amazing it felt.

With every touch of his hand along my skin, I felt how much he cared about me. I could see his love shining through his eyes. I felt his need for me in every gasping breath he took. I had never felt so close to another in my entire life, and the feeling overwhelmed me in the best possible way.

I dragged my nails down his back, and was rewarded with a shiver and groan in response. My touch affected him just as much as his did me, and I knew that he felt the exact same way. This was new for both of us, but we learned which touches would please each other most.

Our bodies slid together effortlessly, and I was suddenly glad that I was no longer able to sweat. My newly strengthened senses caused me to revel in every sigh he breathed, every vibration caused by his purr, every pass of his thumb against my side. I delighted in the way he moved in me—strong and steadily, while still being tender and unhurried.

I heard him begin to groan, and felt his forehead drop to my shoulder. His pace increased slightly, and his thumb return to right above where we were joined, and every muscle in my body tensed once more. I felt the waves of pleasure crash through me once more as I found my release, and with a strangled cry of my name, I felt Carlisle's pleasure join my own. I felt a sharp sting as he released inside of me, followed by a sharp pain on my neck.

He had marked me in his orgasm just as I had done to him before. The sharpness of the pain mingled with my pleasure, and only made my own orgasm intensify.

When we were both spent, he withdrew from me, and rolled onto the bed beside me. He pulled my arm across my body, so that I curled against his side, and I tossed one leg over his thigh, entwining our limbs. I rested my head on the nook between his shoulder and his chest, and felt a satisfied contentment blanket over us.

"I love you," he murmured quietly.

"I love you," I replied in kind.

"Did I hurt you?" Carlisle asked, almost hesitantly.

I contemplated my answer for a moment. "It was slightly uncomfortable at first, but I felt far more pleasure than pain. Your venom stung inside of me for a brief moment, but it doesn't hurt any longer."

"I told you it was instinctual," he replied with a smirk. I don't think I'd ever seen Carlisle look quite so cocky before, and wasn't sure that it was warranted.

"That actually isn't what I meant, but why is that?" I asked.

"Well, it marks us as mates, really. It draws some of my scent into you, and yours into me. Both the visual mark and scent act as a sign to other vampires that you belong to me, and vice versa. What do you mean, that isn't what you meant?" He asked.

I chuckled softly. I guess that explained the cocky reaction. Carlisle was a bit possessive. I found it to be oddly attractive. He was so caring and giving most of the time, that seeing the more animalistic side of him in contrast was exciting. I was the one who could bring this side out in him. While I had never been privy to Carlisle and Esme's relationship, I found it hard to picture their love as physical and animalistic in any way, and I wondered if I was always meant to travel back in time to become his mate.

"Oh. I was actually referring to your release inside of me. The venom stung."

He was quiet for a moment, and I could feel the scientist in him working out an explanation. "You were a virgin before, and I had to break your barrier. Normally, vampires regenerate; the only way we can have a physical mark is from another vampire's venom, like the marks on our necks. I think when I released my venom inside of you, it prevented your barrier from healing itself."

"Is it bad that I'm glad for that? I would not enjoy it if you had to break it every time we made love."

Carlisle chuckled gently. "I certainly would not enjoy causing you pain every time we were intimate, so I must admit I am glad, as well."

We fell into a light silence at that point, and I was certain that he was also thinking about what had just occurred. I traced my fingers along his chest, and he ran his fingers along my side. I was glad that I seemed to have stopped being ticklish as I became a vampire. It was a trait, like sweating, that I would not miss.

After a few moments enjoying the quiet, I began to be aware that my throat was quite dry and irritated. I tried swallowing the venom in my mouth, but it did not ease the ache. Carlisle immediately noticed my action, and turned to stroke his hand along my throat.

"You're thirsty. I can't believe it didn't occur to me until now that I should take you hunting. I'm so terribly sorry, Bella," he cooed, as if he were soothing an injured child.

"I honestly didn't notice it until now. Would you show me how to hunt?"

He smiled warmly. "Of course. I would be delighted to demonstrate hunting techniques."

As I stood up to get ready for a hunt, I noticed that the bed was significantly lower than I had remembered it being. I looked down at it, and realized with a start that the mattress was now resting on the floor, the wooden frame broken underneath it. I looked at Carlisle, rather shocked at the idea that we had broken the bed with our activities, but he merely smiled proudly in reply.

"It appears that we should invest in a stronger bed," was all he had to say. I couldn't help my own smirk as I simply nodded in reply. "Perhaps the Great Bed of Ware would suffice," he added, perhaps as an afterthought.

We put our clothing back on, though I didn't bother with my undergarments. I didn't know what hunting really involved, but I remembered Edward and Alice always wearing athletic clothing when they were preparing to hunt. I didn't have access to any shorts or t-shirts, but I supposed a simple dress would suffice. I couldn't see a corset and other undergarments providing ease of motion. After I had selected a simple violet dress, I turned to Carlisle, who was smiling widely at me.

"What?" I asked him.

"I appreciate your lack of undergarments, and would suggest that you no longer need them in the future," he replied, still grinning.

Though he was obviously amused by his own scandalous suggestion, I caught the gleam in his eye that informed me that he was completely serious in his proposition. I shook my head and smiled at him, knowing that my undergarments no longer served any purpose, and I was likely to discontinue wearing them.

We left the house, and he immediately started running towards the woods. I was surprised that he would just leave me, until I remembered that I was now as fast as he was, and I began to run, quickly catching up to him. No sooner had I matched his pace than I tripped due to the confines of my skirt. I could not completely stretch my legs out, and I instinctually knew that I would need to if I were to successfully hunt. Carlisle quickly stopped besides me, as I looked down at my dress. With an idea in my head, I reached down to the hem of my dress, and ripped along the seam at the side, creating a long slit up to the middle of my thigh. I contemplated for a mere moment before I repeated the action on the other side.

Satisfied that I would now be able to run without restraint, I glanced over at Carlisle, who was staring at me, his mouth slightly ajar. I cocked an eyebrow at his expression, though I could clearly see his eyes were glazed over with lust. It took him a minute to realize that I had caught him leering at me, and he promptly shut his mouth. I laughed lightly as he simply smirked at me.

"I think you should do that to all of your dresses."

"Oh you do, do you? You are such a man!" I teased lightly.

"I should think that you were already aware of that fact," he said, raising his own eyebrow, daring me to argue that point. "Your legs are far too shapely and beautiful to remain hidden behind your skirts all day. I think I should like to look at them much more frequently."

I laughed outright at his admission. I had known Carlisle to be the consummate gentleman—always polite, always refined, always proper. This sexual and suggestive Carlisle was far more interesting. In the future, I had known him to be a father figure to five vampires. While it was clear that he and Esme were comfortable in their relationship, I had never seen any evidence of passion. I liked to think that I was the only one able to bring that side out in him.

Falling into silence once again, we took off at a run, and I expanded my mind to listen closely to the forest around us. I was once again amazed at how much I could hear. I could distinguish the buzzing of insects, the air moving around and across the wings of a bird, and the heartbeats of many different animals. I focused on the strongest beats, reasoning that they would belong to the largest animals, and I found myself sprinting towards them.

I was fast –extremely fast- and I finally understood that I really wasn't going to hit any trees. Intellectually, I knew I was moving as fast as the Cullens always had, but it didn't look like a blur to me. I could see everything in the clearest detail, and my reflexes were incredibly sharp. Before I knew it, I had come across a large buck, and knew that he would be my meal. While he didn't smell fantastic, I knew that blood was blood, and it would nourish me just the same as any other. I figured it was similar to living off of spinach when you could be eating steak and lobster. I briefly wondered how cow's blood tasted, before I pounced on the deer. I pulled its head to the side, breaking its neck, and sunk my teeth into its jugular, drinking the hot blood greedily.

I hadn't even paused to consider my actions. My instincts had guided me completely, and I realized with a start that I hadn't even waited for Carlisle to demonstrate anything to me. I spun around, dropping the deer, and my eyes landed on Carlisle. I was still thirsty, and, by the blackness of his eyes, I could tell he was, too.

"Was that right?" I asked.

He swallowed thickly and nodded slowly. "Perfect, Bella. Absolutely perfect."

I heard more heartbeats nearby, and after grabbing Carlisle's hand, we ran to find our next prey. I tackled the smaller of the two red deer, while giving him the larger. We both drank deeply, and he showed me how to bury the carcass when we were finished. I heard a smaller heartbeat close by, and thought it might have been a rabbit, until I noticed its scent. It was richer and sweeter smelling, and I wanted it. I crept towards it, careful not to make a sound, and got a glimpse of my prey: a red fox.

I looked at Carlisle for a brief moment before I leapt at the fox, and snapped its neck. I paused before drinking to invite Carlisle over to share it with me. I wasn't especially thirsty after two adult deer, but I wanted to try this fox. I leaned forward at the same time Carlisle did, and we both bit into the fox's neck. The blood was sweeter and more robust than that of the deer, and I made a note to seek out foxes whenever possible during my hunts. As we finished drinking, I began to taste Carlisle's venom as it mixed with the blood, making it even more delicious.

Once we finished, we buried the body, and I turned to look at Carlisle. I was shocked to see that his eyes were just as black as they had been before we hunted. "Did you want to continue hunting? You still seem…" I began, but was cut off by Carlisle pouncing forward, and pressing me against a tree roughly, his mouth capturing mine in one fluid motion. I moaned loudly as I felt him press his body against mine.

I was right; he was still hungry, only it was for me, not blood. He shifted back slightly, and he pulled his pants down and stepped out of them quickly. Without breaking our kiss, I felt him raise the front of my dress up before he lifted me up. I hooked my legs around his waist, allowing him to brace me against the tree behind us, just as I felt him push into me roughly.

He was neither slow nor gentle as he continued to thrust into me, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying every second. He was so contained and proper all of the time, that seeing him lose all sense of control and take me, possess me, was the greatest aphrodisiac I could find. I felt the tree behind us sway and fall behind us, sending us backwards into the ground with it.

He didn't even break his stride. He continued to consume my body, thrusting into me over and over again as his hand grasped my breast roughly. It felt as if every part of my body was being struck by lightning, and the noises that we were both making were primal, feral. He was claiming me as his mate. I didn't know what it was about hunting together that caused such an animalistic reaction in him but I was enjoying it too much to really question it.

Just as I was beginning to feel my release begin to build in my abdomen, I felt his pace become erratic, just before he came inside of me with a roar. His lips once again found my own as he rode out his climax, and began kissing me gently, as if to soothe me and reassure me of his love after the destructive way he took my body. I returned the kiss, and poured all the love I felt for him in return into it.

"I love you, Bella," he murmured quietly.

"I love you, too, Carlisle," I replied.

We stayed entwined for a few minutes, before he slowly stood up, and retrieved his pants. As he put them back on, I stood up. I smoothed out my dress, which was surprisingly in tact, and glanced around to the back, where I noticed what looked like sawdust covering the violet fabric. I brushed it off, and looked at the ground, shocked to see that the tree he had braced me against not only fell, but was also ground to sawdust for all intents and purposes. We destroyed the tree completely.

I burst out laughing at the evidence of Carlisle's passion, and was grateful that when he looked over to see what I found so amusing, Carlisle joined in my mirth. Without another word, he clasped my hand in his, entwining our fingers, and we walked back to our home perfectly content. Everything had changed since I woke up a vampire, and I was anxious to sit down with Carlisle and discuss what had happened.

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**A/N: I'm aiming to update next weekend again. Thank you to everyone who has stumbled upon this story and is reading. **

**I try to answer every review I get, so feel free to ask any questions you have. I'll answer them if I can.**

**I've gotten a bunch of questions about how Carlisle and Bella are changing the future. This is absolutely something that I plan on tackling, but this story is going to focus on the relationship between Carlisle and Bella, and how they find their lives together as mates. That being said, I have always planned on exploring how they have influenced the future in a sequel. An Unexpected Lady has been outlined, as has the sequel. I just wanted you all to know that I do have a plan, so I hope you want to stick with me for the ride. Their story is important to me, and I don't want to skip over large chunks of time (like 50+ years) if I can avoid it. I know it wasn't confusion, really, but I hope knowing that I have a plan helps. **


	6. 5: Challenges and Plans

**A/N: Bethaboo is such an incredible beta and friend. Seriously, I throw two stories at her a week, and she hasn't kicked my ass for it yet. Thanks to GiveUsAKiss413 for pre-reading. **

**To all my readers, new and old, you completely rock. Thank you for reading, dropping me a line to let me know your thoughts, and/or telling a friend. **

**Disclaimer: I really don't own Twilight, but I definitely like playing with these characters.

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**Chapter 5: Challenges and Plans**

When we returned to the cottage after our hunt, I opened the door to enter our home, only to feel the metal knob mold itself to my hand. I immediately released it, and looked at it in shock, waiting for it to regain its shape like it were a stress ball. When it didn't, I blew out a sharp breath. From behind me, I could feel Carlisle teetering on a fine edge, and he had stopped breathing until he was certain of what my response would be. He wanted more than anything to laugh at my reaction –as if I had been terrified by the sinister doorknob- but was afraid that I would be hurt or angry by his laughter.

I sighed. "You may laugh if you want, Carlisle. I won't be angry. I know you've said how much stronger vampires are than humans, but I suppose I never understood _how_ _much_ stronger I would be."

Once given, Carlisle did indeed begin to laugh, though he contained it to more of a snicker than a full guffaw. I was grateful for that. I glanced over at the deformed piece of metal, and was amused by the fact that I now knew what the inside of my fist looked like. I joined Carlisle in his light chuckles, before I reached towards the offending knob and tried to smooth it out. I only managed to create divots in the shape of my fingers in the process. I had always thought brass was a rather firm substance, and this new discovery was quite surprising.

"I believe I must work on how to manage my strength," I said.

"I believe that would be wise, unless we want to invest in an overabundance of new furnishings and furniture for the cottage," he replied. He was enjoying this—I could see the mirth in his eyes.

"Yes. That would be a terrible inconvenience," I agreed, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "You are enjoying my ineptitude too much, Carlisle."

He kissed me sweetly, and looked into my eyes. "I apologize, Bella. I know how difficult it is to understand your own strength, and, to be honest, you are remarkably calm."

"You are by my side, Carlisle; your very presence calms me."

"I love you," he murmured quietly.

He smiled at me, and I laid my head against his chest, not worried about breaking him with my touch. There was a flash of recognition in my consciousness, as I remembered hundreds of gentle touches and caresses from when I was a human. Before I even realized I had a question to ask, it flew out of my mouth.

"How did you ever touch me when I was human?" I was thankful that I could no longer blush, embarrassed by my somewhat impolite and bold question. "You held my hand while I slept, taught me how to dance, and were never afraid to touch me. I don't know how you ever were able to do so."

"I suppose it is because I learned a long time ago how to balance my strength. Even Volterra was built for humans to live in. If I did not know how much pressure was too much, I would be unable to open doors, or hold a cup and saucer, or write a letter. As much as it is difficult at first, because you have much more strength in your first years as a vampire, it is essential to learn how to handle every day objects to avoid exposure."

"I suppose I never thought of it like that."

"If I can hold a pen without crushing it, I can easily touch a human without harming them. I doubt I was ever capable of hurting you, even intentionally."

"I love you." I reached up and kissed him as gently as I could, trying to infuse the kiss with all the love I felt for him.

When we broke apart, he looked at me, and I could see that he was formulating a plan of some sort. "I believe that having you handle different objects, and learning how much pressure is required to manipulate them without crushing them will be the most prudent method of conquering your strength."

"Such as playing with rocks, and seeing how tightly I can hold them?"

"Precisely. Though, I believe that you will need to handle a wide variety of objects, but rocks are excellent to begin with," he posited.

It was a clever plan. I had heard Carlisle speak of recently changed vampires as "newborns," but had always thought the term was slightly silly—as if you didn't begin life until you became a vampire. I was beginning to realize that the things parents have to teach their kids, like how to grasp and hold objects, was something that I now needed instruction in.

"Is there anything else that I shall need to learn?" I inquired.

"Your speed is much faster than it was as a human. If you are to assimilate yourself into society, you will need to learn how to slow your movements and words. When we hunted, we crossed miles in moments—faster than any horse at a full gallop. Even our walking pace is swifter than a horse. Your speech is also too quick, but that is easily corrected."

I was once again compelled to compare myself to an infant. I needed to learn how to walk and talk. These were all things that I knew I needed to master before I could be introduced back into society.

"I would like to start practicing now. Can you please only speak to me at the pace of a human? I would also appreciate it if you would move at a human's speed unless we are hunting."

"These are perfectly reasonable requests, Bella, but there is no rush to master them immediately. It will take months before we are able to introduce you to society again. I am afraid that we cannot return to Ware at present."

"I do not understand why this is necessary, Carlisle," I stated, the request for more information clear in my voice.

"The bloodlust in newly changed vampires is immense, and you cannot be exposed to humans at present—the thirst is too voracious. You have told me in the past that you do not wish to hunt humans, and I fear that I would not be able to prevent you from harming someone if you were to be in close proximity. In addition, while your human blood is still in your system, your eyes are red. They will change to the same color I have after a few months of imbibing exclusively animal blood."

I could not contain my sigh. I knew this; I had some vague human memory of a similar conversation, but it didn't make it any easier to accept.

Instead of continuing that thought, I began to contemplate the reasons for my objection, and could not find any. I had been living in seclusion with Carlisle for over a year already, and had never once been truly miserable. In fact, I loved spending time with Carlisle, and we certainly never had lacked for conversation. Just as he had trained me how to blend into 1815 English society, he would teach me how to pass for a human. If it would take months before I could do so, I would have to make due.

"As long as I am with you, I will be happy. I do want to enjoy the benefits of society, but I would never want to expose us. We have all the time in the world," I stated.

I meant every word of that, but I couldn't help but think of how much had changed in the last year. Initially, the idea that I would be unable to enter society and take advantage of the incredible gift I had been given, had been somewhat disappointing. The more time I spent with Carlisle, however, the more time I realized that my wish was coming true. I had wished myself into Jane Austen's England to find love, and I had certainly done so.

As I realized that my wish had been fulfilled, I began to wonder how my decisions would alter the future. I had been so adamant that I couldn't give Carlisle information on the rest of the Cullens, because I was afraid that I would change things that should not be altered. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew that I had just forever changed the shape of Carlisle's future.

I had known Carlisle's future when I approached him at the ball in Ware, but I no longer was certain. I had known him as Esme's mate, but _I_ was now his mate. I didn't know where Esme fit into the coven any longer. I wasn't sure if he would still change her in the future, and if he did… would he love her more than he loves me? Were they destined for one another?

My concerned musings must have been evident on my face, because Carlisle caught my chin in his fingers and lifted it until my eyes met his.

"What has you so perplexed?" Carlisle asked.

I bit my lip, contemplating whether or not I could ask my question. "Carlisle?" I asked, somewhat hesitantly. He raised his eyebrows in a silent request for me to continue. "Can you tell me more about mates?"

The question made him anxious, and I immediately wondered if he had misinterpreted my meaning. "What do you want to know?"

"I know that you've said that vampires only mate once. Is there only one person who can be your mate? Is it destined, or was it a choice?"

I knew he was confused by my inquiry, but I was suddenly feeling somewhat insecure. Nothing in my life had ever felt so good, so easy, or so _right_ as being in love with Carlisle, and I could not conceive that his love could ever be taken away from me. As I looked into his worried eyes, I knew that I had to explain my fear.

"You had a mate." He looked somewhat confused, and I knew I had to explain. "In the future, you had a mate. I didn't know if I should have told you before, but I never expected that I would fall in love with you— never mind that you could love me in return. I don't know if I should have told you, or if it would even change anything, or—"

His lips silenced my words as he kissed me fiercely. I grasped his forearms as his hands came up to cup my face, and opened my mouth to his. I felt desperate and needy, as if the mere shadow of Esme was hanging over me, even though she had yet to be born. He moaned into my mouth, but before I could begin to divest him of his clothing, he pulled away, and tucked my head under his chin. He bent his head down and kissed my forehead, and I looked up questioningly into his eyes.

"Please, Bella, do not doubt how much I love you. _You _are the woman that I love, that I want to share my life with."

"But how can you know for certain when you haven't met her yet?"

"I know that because I am in love with you. I will not pretend that I know everything about mates, Bella, but what I do know is that a vampire is largely unchanging, until we find a mate. Then, when we fall in love, we change for our mate. I do not believe we are capable of changing again. I suppose there really is no correct answer to your question."

I looked at him, unsure of what his answer meant. "You said that I had altered your existence when you proposed to me. That means that you wouldn't be able to fall in love again?"

"I suppose, in many ways it does. We are like the swan, really—we mate for life. Humans try to do so, but they, by their very nature, are always changing, so can love more than one person in their lifetime. As for fate, I cannot say for certain if it exists, but I do have faith in it."

"If you have faith in fate, how can you think we were meant to be mates? You had a mate already, and it wasn't me," I interjected.

"I fell in love with you because you are a remarkable woman, and have all the qualities I have always wished my wife and mate would possess, as well as some traits I would not have thought to ask for. I could not imagine anyone better suited to my needs. I like to believe that it was fate that brought you to me."

"Fate didn't bring me to you, though, because in the future…it led you to someone else."

"Ah, but I think it did. Whoever you believed to be my mate in the future is not now; perhaps you were sent to this time to make certain that I fell in love with the right woman. Perhaps your actions in the future have rectified a mistake in my destiny."

"Do you really believe that it was your fate to love me?"

"Yes, I do," he stated simply.

I looked into his eyes, and saw the complete honesty they held. I closed my eyes, and pressed my face into his shoulder, basking in the feeling of love that consumed me as I did so.

I began to contemplate his words. He believed that Esme was never destined to be his mate, as if I was always supposed to travel through time and fall in love with him. The idea was appealing enough that I believed it completely. I wasn't certain if I had ever believed in fate and destiny, but I did know that I loved Carlisle, and I knew that I could never love anyone as much as I loved him.

"I love you, Carlisle. I'm sorry if I made it seem that I was questioning your love for me. I know that you love me."

"I know. I have to ask you a question, though." I nodded slightly so he would continue. "Why didn't you tell me about this before? You agreed to marry me, and you changed into a vampire to be my companion, yet you were uncertain if you would lose me in the future?"

I was silent for a moment as I mulled over his words. "I saw the change in you, and I know how much you love me. I never doubted that you love me. I don't really know why I was suddenly so insecure, but I… I feel so overwhelmed right now. As if I can't quite decide how I should feel. The love I feel for you consumes me, to the point where I had to wonder what I would do if I ever lost you. I don't think I could bear it, Carlisle."

"You never will. I am yours, completely."

I couldn't contain my smile at his words. "I love you." I took a deep breath and realized that I hadn't fully answered his question. "I didn't want to risk changing the future, and I wasn't sure what would happen if I told you about your mate in the future. Would she still be changed? Would you still love her? I didn't want to risk altering the future, but I suppose I have already changed it. I don't want her future to rest in my hands, and, to be honest, I do not know much about her life apart from the fact that she was your mate."

"I understand why you wish to keep the details of the future to yourself. I simply wish you had come to me with your fears."

"In my defense, it is not as if I have had much chance before now to really think about the ramifications to the future after your proposal. All I know is that I love you more than I ever thought possible, and I will gladly spend the rest of my days on this earth with you."

"I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you the happiest I can."

I realized that we had been standing in front of our door during our conversation, so I took his hand in mine, and I led us into the cottage. We went into the sitting room, and sat on the loveseat. I heard him draw in a breath and hold it inside. He wanted to ask me something, but I knew he wasn't certain how it would be received.

I leaned over and kissed his cheek softly before settling back in the seat with an encouraging expression.

"After the next six months, when your eyes have turned gold, and you will be better capable of being around humans, I was wondering if you would not mind a little bit of travel?"

"Where would we go?"

"Volterra. We have spoken of the Volturi before, and you know that I recently spent a number of decades with them. I still consider them friends of mine, and I would be honored if I could present you to them as my mate. They would be overjoyed that I have found you."

"You want to introduce me to your friends?" I asked. There was something about the notion that sounded so… normal about the situation. I couldn't help but giggle lightly at the notion. The Volturi had frightened me when I was with Edward, because I knew the entire family was at risk because I knew their secret. Now, I was a vampire -Carlisle's mate- and they would have no reason to harm Carlisle or I.

I was more than a little curious about the Volturi. Carlisle had described them as very civilized, and that they were collectors of information. They were connoisseurs of art, patrons of music, and seekers of enlightenment. It was in Volterra that Carlisle learned about science and medicine. I wanted to meet them, and explore the sorts of knowledge that they possessed.

"Though I do not agree with their dietary choices, I respect their ability to keep our world secret. I'm fascinated that they can stay in the same location for centuries without the local humans becoming suspicious."

I considered that for a moment. "I think I'd like to stay somewhere for a few years, but not permanently. There's too much of the world that I'd like to see."

"You shall see it all," he promised.

An idea entered my head, and I nearly exploded out of my skin with excitement. Carlisle caught my eye, and cocked an eyebrow in curiosity.

"I want to see certain moments in history. I have all this knowledge of the future, and I want to use it in a way. We could attend concerts that people will speak of for hundreds of years. We can bear witness to speeches that will shape the future of entire countries. We have the ability to see great battles in war, and witness history as it is being made.

"We will live forever, Carlisle, and I have knowledge that would allow us to be where history is made."

He was quiet for a moment, and I wondered what he was contemplating. "Your idea is fascinating, but you have been so careful not to alter history. Would you be able to resist the temptation to prevent any negative events?"

I thought about that for a while. I did not want to admit that it was a legitimate concern, but I could not deny it, either. I momentarily thought of the horrors I could prevent, like the assassinations of Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy. Could I really stand by and watch as innocent men were killed? Could I see men like Martin Luther King, Jr. be killed for having the courage to stand up against injustice?

There was the other side of this coin, though. Who was I to alter history like that? Would Kennedy or Lincoln have been as well-remembered if their lives weren't cut tragically short? How could I choose which events to alter, and which not to change? Although I wanted to save lives, could the lives I save cause the death or oppression of others? The fact was, I didn't know how my actions would change the future, and that would prevent me from acting on my urges.

"I can show restraint. I do not know how my actions would alter the course of history, and I would not feel comfortable doing so. If someone is meant to live, they will do so. I choose to hunt animals instead of humans because I do not believe I have the right to choose who should live and who should die. The Hippocratic oath requires physicians to treat anyone who is in need—I want to live by that philosophy."

"I think that is commendable, Bella, and I would love to see the events that will shape history. I think it is a brilliant idea."

We were quiet for a few moments, as I snuggled deep into his arms. I enjoyed the warmth that his embrace provided, and I realized that it had remained consistent from when I was still a human. The temperature of his skin had never affected the warmth of his embrace.

"In the future, women can become doctors. One day, I would like to help people like you will," I stated, not really forming the idea before speaking.

"Women can be nurses, but are unable to attend medical school at present," he replied. He didn't comment on whether or not he supported women holding the profession. In fairness, my statement seemed hypothetical and very far-fetched to someone in 1816.

I wondered if Carlisle would ever allow me to work alongside of him one day in the future. I would have to conquer my bloodlust before I could contemplate it, but the idea of healing people was appealing. Without my penchant for vomiting or fainting at the sight and smell of blood, I thought a career in medicine would be quite rewarding to me. Esme had never worked in the future, and I wondered how much of that was due to the time in which she lived, her desire not to hold a job, or if Carlisle had not approved of the idea. For some reason, I could not imagine Carlisle being sexist, but he had grown up in a very different time, and his ideas of a woman's role in the world would have been very different. I was somewhat afraid that he would reject my desire to work as a foolish notion, so I kept the idea to myself. I would address it later, when I was able to be in the company of humans without wanting to drink their blood.

x-x-x

Learning to control my speed and strength was not simple. I had hoped that it would come naturally to me, but because I had already learned how to move and manipulate objects as a human, I had specific sense memories associated with each action.

Carlisle was patient –exceedingly so- and never made me feel foolish for having difficulty with mimicking a human's strength. I was able to control my speed with more ease, because I was able to match my speed to Carlisle's. After a month of copying his movements, I was able to move at a human pace without following his example.

It took me approximately five months before I was able to hold any object without crushing it. Carlisle's method of becoming gradually accustomed to individual substances proved successful. It took a long time, but I had a better mastery over my strength than most young vampires.

My eyes were now golden, like Carlisle's, and I could physically pass for a human. I had only left the cottage to hunt, and had not encountered the scent of human blood yet. Carlisle believed that I was ready. He didn't believe my thirst was as strong as other newborns he had seen. He also was surprised by the control I had over my actions. I hunted more than Carlisle needed to hunt, but my thirst was not voracious, and I was able to focus on other desires above my thirst.

We decided to test my restraint with a trip to a nearby ranch. Carlisle held me firmly before I drew a breath with the scent of a human. I had anticipated a scent that was nothing short of divine. From all I had heard of the lure of human blood, it would be almost impossible to resist.

Imagine my surprise when the scent of rust and salt invaded my nostrils, and I nearly gagged.

When Carlisle realized that I was not straining against him, he loosened his hold on me. We ventured closer to the human, who remained oblivious to the lethal predators around him, and I was assaulted by a temptation that I had not anticipated. The sound of his heartbeat was thick in the air, and I immediately stiffened, so that I would not attack the farmer. His scent was not especially appealing, but the steady sound of his heart beating and the sound of blood rushing through his veins were.

I did not allow myself to move a muscle. My body was frozen and tense, until I acclimated myself to the temptation. It took me a few minutes before I was able to tear myself away from the sound of fresh blood. His blood may not have smelled appealing to me, but the sound of the blood pumping through him called to me, as if it would ease the ache in my throat better than any animal could.

It took me another month before I was able to approach a human without tensing to attack. I still was careful, but I knew that I would not harm anyone. Every day, we walked closer to town, where there were more humans to encounter.

The first day I was able to walk through town without any visible strain, I felt Carlisle's pride in my accomplishment as his arms wrapped around me. The next day, we left Roysten to sail across the English Channel and travel to Volterra, Italy. I could not help but think that it was the first step towards truly living our lives together as mates.

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**A/N: I'm shooting to post the next chapter next weekend. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	7. 6: Mistakes and Revelations

**A/N: Bethaboo is the most amazing beta. Thank you so much for all your help, bb. This fic wouldn't be what it is without you.**

**I just want to thank everyone who reads, recommends, and/or reviews this story. I just learned that both An Unexpected Lady and my other story, In the Shadow of Ursa Major, were nominated for the Twilight Gem Awards. AUL was nominated for Best Original Plot, and Best Carlisle/Bella. Thank you to whoever nominated me... I'm so honored, truly. The voting is currently open, if you're so inclined: http:/ /gemawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**I don't own Twilight. I just really like playing with the characters.**

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**Chapter 6: Mistakes and Revelations**

We had run to Dover, where we caught a ship that was crossing the Channel to Calais, France. The journey by boat was only a few hours, which I spent in Carlisle's arms. This served as both a comfort, as well as a precaution. The scent of human blood still did not appeal to me, but neither Carlisle nor I wanted to risk any danger to the humans from the appeal of the sound of their heartbeats. We had hunted mere hours before we boarded the vessel so my thirst would be sated, and I didn't have any trouble with my constant proximity to humans.

The trip was quite beautiful, really. We had chosen a boat that had an indoor cabin in case it was sunny, but luckily, it was overcast that day. I was able to see the cliffs of Dover, which really were the most remarkable white hue, and I couldn't help but start to hum the Eric Johnson song in my head. I was tapping my foot along with the beat, and Carlisle began laughing at me.

"What are you singing, Bella?" He asked through his light chuckles.

"It a song called 'The Cliffs of Dover,' by Eric Johnson. It's a guitar instrumental, and Renee used to play it around the house whenever she was in a particularly good mood. I thought it was appropriate, considering our current views," I stated, gesturing to the cliffs in question.

Carlisle studied the cliffs carefully as I resumed my humming, and I could tell he didn't quite see how those cliffs would inspire song. In truth, I wasn't certain that I understood it myself, but I decided that it was likely the rocking of the boat that made the song less fitting to the views.

When we were no longer able to see the shores of England, I leaned my head further into Carlisle's shoulder, and lost myself into the calming lull of the sea. Small waves crashed into the side of the boat, and I tuned out any sound but the steady cadence of Carlisle's breathing and the soothing sounds of the water surrounding us. Every now and then, Carlisle would slip his hand up so that it was resting on the bottom curve of my breast, and remind me that I was standing too still. I would shift my weight against him, move my arms, or stretch my limbs.

After the first two hours, I found myself wondering about the Volturi. I had seen paintings of them, and had a vague knowledge of who they were, but Carlisle still hadn't told me much about them. I knew that they were the royalty of our kind, and that they were a hub of enlightenment and knowledge. I knew that Carlisle considered them friends, and that he learned a great deal about science, medicine, music, and art when he lived with them. They also taught him a great deal about being a vampire, and how to exist around humans without exposing our true nature.

"Will you tell me more about the Volturi?"

"What do you want to know?" Carlisle asked.

"You have told me about them as a group, and your experiences there, but you haven't told me about the individuals. Will you, please?"

"Certainly," he replied with a smile. "There are three rulers of the Volturi, known as the brothers, though they are not technically related. Aro, Marcus, and Caius. Aro is the unofficial leader, likely because he is the most charming and well mannered of the three. Caius can be somewhat surly, and is very strict with the rules; he does not like to make any exceptions to their laws. Marcus has been somewhat vacant for a long time. His mate was Aro's sister, Didyme, but she was killed a long time ago. Since that point in time, he barely takes notice of the world around him."

"Poor Marcus. That must be terrible—living with that kind of pain."

"I don't know that I would call his existence 'living' at all. He seems merely, empty. He lost his reason and will to live, so he merely sits on his throne like an empty shell."

"Is there nothing that anyone can do for him?"

"No, there isn't. We discussed how vampires mate only once, and that the change is permanent, right?" Carlisle paused until I nodded in response. "Most vampires that lose their mates live for vengeance if the mate was killed by another vampire, or they request to be put to death by the Volturi."

I took a shuddering breath, and pressed my nose into his neck, drawing his scent into me. I had never met Marcus, but the thought of losing Carlisle was more than I could comprehend. "I don't know if I would ever be able to live without you."

"You will never have to, Bella. I believe Marcus would probably prefer death to his apathetic purgatory."

"Why didn't he ask for it, then? Surely Aro and Caius would not want him to live in pain for the remainder of eternity."

"Marcus is gifted, though. He can sense the bonds between two individuals, which can be extremely useful. Since Aro can see everything that Marcus sees, they do not even need to speak."

"What do you mean by that? About Aro," I clarified.

"He has a very powerful gift— he can read your mind."

"I thought all vampire gifts were unique," I said with a small gasp.

Carlisle furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at me. "They are. Do you know of another vampire who can read minds?"

I took a deep breath, and contemplated my answer. I didn't want to tell him too much about his future coven, but I had already hinted towards Esme's existence; he didn't need to know _who_ it was that could read minds in his coven.

"There was a vampire in the future who could. He heard the thoughts of everyone around him, apart from me."

"He could hear more than one person at a time?" I nodded. "You were immune?"

I nodded again, and explained. "We never knew why, but my blood called strongly to him, and he could not read my mind, and not for a lack of trying. Even when I was asleep, I was silent to him."

"Fascinating," he said, and I caught a glimpse of the scientist in Carlisle. "That's not quite how Aro's gift works, though. He must touch you to read your thoughts, but he can read every thought you have ever had."

I felt my eyes widen, and I didn't understand my own panic at the information. When I had first learned that Edward had the ability to read minds, I was terrified of how he would judge me. Aro's ability seemed like it could pose some form of threat. I felt nervous and anxious, until the reason finally hit me.

I was from the future. I held knowledge of what the next two centuries would bring—from wars to natural disasters. It was dangerous enough for me to have the knowledge I possessed, but the idea of giving it to someone else seemed dangerous. I also didn't know how the Volturi would view me—if I came from the future already knowing about vampires.

I glanced at Carlisle, the concern he had at my visible panic seeping into the air around us. "Will he want to read me? Could that be dangerous?"

"How would it be dangerous?" Carlisle asked, seeming to panic with me, as if it were contagious.

"I'm from the future. He'd know everything that happens until 2010, would he ever alter the future? Would he use that knowledge for anything? And your family in the future… I knew you were vampires, and you hadn't intended to change me until I came back in time. Could you be harmed in the future because of it?"

"Aro would never use information like that. Whilst he does like to collect knowledge, he only utilizes it for his own curiosity. The Volturi protect the secret of vampires; influencing human politics and society would hold no interest to them."

"Are you certain?" I asked.

"I am. You don't have anything to be concerned about. They also have no cause to punish me or anyone in my supposed future coven for your knowledge of vampires, because the moment you went back in time, the situation was rectified. You became a vampire, and the fact that my coven and I were vampires was never exposed. There is no cause for quarrel."

There was still a part of me that was wary, but I had complete faith in Carlisle. Though he gave others the benefit of the doubt, he was an excellent judge of character, and I trusted his instincts. If he believed that Aro possessing my memories would cause no harm, I would believe him. Besides, with any luck, the same thing that blocked Edward from reading my mind would prevent Aro from being able to do the same.

I couldn't think of anything to say to Carlisle. I wanted to be mad that he didn't think to warn me that Aro would be able to read my mind. How could he not have realized that this would be potentially upsetting to me? Perhaps he was so accustomed to Aro's ability that he had never stopped to consider the consequences. Then again, perhaps he had, and simply believed as he said—that Aro would never use my knowledge of the future for his own gain. I knew that Aro had to be a good man for Carlisle to consider him a friend.

Why, then, did I have this terrible fear shooting down my spine telling me that everything would change in Volterra?

x-x-x

We landed in Calais just as the sky was turning darker. I took a moment to appreciate the fact that I was in France. I had wanted to visit the country for years, as Renee had always spoken about her desire to come here. I took in the surreality of the moment, and I realized that this was the first time since becoming a vampire that I had truly wished that one of my parents could be here to share this experience with me.

Carlisle noticed my expression, and wrapped his arms around me, almost as if he could shield me from my own thoughts. I burrowed my face in his shoulder, but my mind was wandering to the future. I had missed my parents greatly over the past year and a half while living in the past, but it seemed that I had been so overwhelmed to stop and think of how my departure had affected Charlie and Renee.

The truth was, I didn't know what happened to them in the future, and until it was 2010 again, I _couldn't _really know. Did I simply disappear? Did I leave a body back in 2010? Were Charlie and Renee mourning my death, or did they simply believe I was missing? I wanted to believe that there was some way for them to avoid thinking the worst, but not knowing if there was another way. For all I knew, they might think I had run off to L.A. to find Edward and be with him.

This was a situation I couldn't possibly resolve when I hadn't even been born yet -when my _parents_ hadn't even been born yet- so I let the uncertainty and worry wash through me like waves. My face was still pressed into Carlisle's chest, but I gradually became aware that he was shaking me. I looked up into his face, and saw that he was agitated, and more than a little concerned.

His concern, as it turned out, was not _for_ me, but for what my actions had caused.

In Roysten, I had been so careful about trying to fidget and move like I was still human. I knew the importance of maintaining the façade, but it seemed as if I had let my thoughts run away from me, and had neglected to shift positions. I didn't know how long I had been standing in the same position, but it was long enough for Carlisle to become alarmed, and long enough for the other passengers that had disembarked with us to take notice of my stillness.

People were staring, and I looked back to Carlisle, as if he would know what to do. He simply shook his head slightly, and withdrew his arms around me. For a moment, I thought he was going to distance himself from me, as if I was a sinking ship, and he was searching for a life raft. When he slipped his right hand down my arm and took my hand in his, I realized that I was being foolish. I searched his eyes, not looking for anything in particular, when he blinked and shifted his weight. I realized that I had only moved my head after he pulled me from my thoughts, so I followed his lead, and moved.

I was still tense, but the slight movement seemed to set the onlookers somewhat at ease. I took a deep breath, and the humans around us relaxed further. Shit. I hadn't been breathing. I was shocked that I had dropped the ball so thoroughly. I had thought that remembering to move and breathe would be easy, since I had recently needed to do both as a human, but within hours of being around humans regularly, I had already failed at blending in.

My mistake meant that it would be best to commence on our trip to Italy immediately, instead of taking the time to explore northern France while we were there. We had packed lightly, and only taken a few items of clothing, knowing it would fit in a small traveling case. I had naively thought that we would be traveling on horseback or a carriage, but I had failed to consider that horses were not fans of vampires. Just as humans instinctively shied away from us, animals did as well. Sure, some were foolish enough to want to give a fight before meeting their end, but they did know that we were predators much higher on the food chain than they were.

That was how we ended up walking into a secluded part of town before breaking into a run into the forest. Carlisle carried our belongings; even though I was stronger than he was, he was too much of a gentleman to consider allowing me to perform such a menial task. We kept to the woods as much as possible, and Carlisle knew the way to Italy, since he had traveled this same route when he first sought out the Volturi. This trip was much faster.

Along the way, we stopped to hunt, seeing that my thirst was still greater than what it would come to be. The journey only took a couple days, but I think Carlisle wanted to use the excuse of the hunt to be intimate again. It was only when he pounced on me before I had finished drinking the first deer I had killed, that I realized his hunger was even greater than mine, and it was not for blood.

Before I had registered his lips on mine, he stripped me of my dress, and I noticed his clothing yards away from us. He must have disrobed as soon as he saw me take the deer down. His lips were hard and insistent, and his hands seemed to frantically search my skin, as if memorizing it by touch. He was almost wild in his need as he thrust himself into me, and I was no longer capable of discerning his haste as soon as I felt his flesh against mine.

"Bella…I need…Please… Taste like candied roses… Love forever…Mine…Never let any harm come to you…Bella…More…" His words were coming out in fragments, like he needed to communicate them to me, but couldn't focus on any on one thought in particular.

"I need you, too, Carlisle. Please," I simultaneously begged and assured him.

I was pressed against him tightly, his mouth melded to mine, and his hands pressing against my back, as if to eliminate any millimeter of space between us. In his urgency, he merely rocked his hips against me, not even allowing himself to withdraw from me. He drew his lips down my neck.

"I need…inside of me…"

I felt his teeth pierce my neck where his scar rested, and felt him take a few strong pulls of venom before resealing the wound. The pain of his venom shot tingles across my skin, just as the loss of venom made me light headed. I felt as if I was floating through a tank filled with electric eels, and his constant movement within me pushed me beyond the point of ecstasy. Carlisle felt my release, and came with a strangled cry, still unable to tolerate any space between us.

As I returned to reality, I tried to focus on anything around me, like the feeling of his breath on my cheek, the stinging of his venom on my neck, or weight of his body as it remained pressed against mine; I wasn't successful. It felt as if someone had blown up a balloon inside of my head, and I couldn't seem to get my bearings. After a few minutes, when he finally moved off of me, he noticed.

"No…I hurt her…Bella…" He said frantically, also still unable to focus on anything.

"I'm fine. I just need to hunt more," I assured him. I wasn't certain of the accuracy of this statement, but I felt he needed reassurance, and I hoped it was the truth.

"How did…? Yes… Deer…" He mumbled, confusion still in his voice. A second later, he continued in a much stronger voice. "I'll bring you a deer. Please don't move—just rest for now."

I wanted to nod, but my head still felt weighed down, so I merely murmured, "thank you," in reply.

He was only gone for a couple of minutes before he returned with a large buck struggling against his grasp. He snapped the neck before helping me sit up. I latched onto the deer's neck, and drank deeply. When I was finished, he helped me stand up before we turned to find the rest of the herd. I drained four more deer before I felt sated; my head no longer felt paradoxically heavy and light.

I turned to Carlisle to see if he knew what had happened, only to find him staring at my ass. It was at that point that I realized I was still naked, and quickly ran back to find our clothes. Carlisle was right behind me, and quickly got dressed as I did the same.

"What just happened, Carlisle?" I asked, still feeling slightly off-center emotionally, even though I was physically fine.

He could have tried to play it off, as if he didn't believe there was anything different about what just transpired, but it was Carlisle, and he wouldn't do that. Instead, he took a deep breath before he replied. "I do not know if I can adequately describe it, Bella. When the humans began to notice how still you were, I panicked. I could only think of how I could never let you be exposed—that I had to protect you. Then, whilst you were hunting, that compulsion seemed to shift inside of me. We were no longer in any danger, but I felt the need to be as close to you as possible. Even when I was inside of you, there was too much space between us.

"I am so sorry that I bit you like that. I confess to being somewhat uncertain as to what I thought I would achieve by doing so, except that I perhaps thought drawing you inside of _me_ would finally bring me close enough," he said, clearly trying to explain what he himself was uncertain of.

"Did it help?" I asked.

"It calmed me, until I saw that you were too weak to move afterwards, and I realized that I had hurt you worse than any human could hope to."

I reached up on my toes and kissed him softly. "I'm fine, Carlisle. I'm sorry you were so worried, but there was no lasting damage. Please, stop worrying."

He took a deep, shuddering breath, and I traced my palm against his cheek. He pulled me into his body, and seemed to breathe me in for a few moments. He needed to feel me, to know that I wasn't harmed. We stayed like that for several long minutes.

"I love you," he said, finally breaking the silence that wrapped around us.

"I love you, too," I replied. "So very much."

He nodded against my head before he finally stepped away from my body.

After Carlisle retrieved our belongings, we continued on our journey to Volterra. Even whilst carrying our possessions in one hand, he made certain to remain in contact with me the entire remainder of our journey.

x-x-x

When we reached Volterra, we changed out of the clothes we had traveled in. I had worn a dress that allowed me to run (with Carlisle-approved slits up the sides), and they were not appropriate to meet anyone of class, never mind royalty. Besides, I didn't think the Volturi would appreciate grass stains and dirt on our clothes. We stepped out of the woods just after the sun had set, and I saw Volterra for the first time.

Due to our route, we hadn't seen much of the French or Italian countryside. I wasn't certain if towns like this were typical in Europe, but I felt as if I had just stepped into a fairytale. The town sat atop a large hill, continuing in jagged edges, as if its buildings were merely carved out of the earth it sat upon. The buildings were a beautiful golden tan, and there was an exquisite castle amidst the houses and churches of the town, visible above the wall that protected the town. It could have been a small country, though the farms were outside the gates.

We walked into the city, and I was shocked that no one seemed to question our presence here. It occurred to me, then, that the townspeople were likely accustomed to exceedingly graceful and beautiful people wandering the streets. After all, vampires ran the town, and they interacted with the humans on a daily basis. Perhaps I anticipated people to be more wary because I was nervous.

Anxiety filled me, and I had been unable to rid myself of the feeling during our journey. Ever since I learned that Aro was able to read minds, I felt certain that going to Volterra would make it difficult to return to the simple life that Carlisle and I had left in England. I wanted to believe that Carlisle was right about Aro –that he would never use my knowledge of the future for any nefarious purposes- but my anxiety still remained. Before I learned of Aro's gift, I had been so excited to visit the vampires that had been such a large part of shaping Carlisle into the man he had become. However, I didn't even know about what other talents the Volturi possessed.

As soon as that realization struck me, I hissed quietly, and pulled on Carlisle's arm, leaving the city we had just entered. Once we were out of earshot, he stopped, forcing me to stop with him.

"Bella, what is wrong?"

"The Volturi. You told me of the powers that Aro and Marcus possess. Are there any more gifted vampires?"

"Of course there are. Most of the guard is gifted in some way or another."

"How could you let us just walk into the city without telling me that there were other vampires that posed a threat to us!" I cried in exasperation.

"Bella, please listen," he began patiently. "The Volturi are my friends; there is no reason to feel threatened by them. The only member of the guard that I have ever seen act on impulse is Jane, but she only will use her gift if she views a vampire as a potential threat to the brothers, or their wives. She can invade your mind, and make you feel pain. It is all an illusion, though. Her gift is perhaps the worst of them, but while you may feel pain, she cannot actually do more than incapacitate you as you hurt. You do not need to worry, Bella. The Volturi are good. I count them among my friends. Please."

I felt terrible that I had seemed to question his judgment. These were people he trusted, people who had helped him when he knew nothing about being a vampire. They took him in, and showed him that he did not need to dwell in the shadows like a monster. I was wrong to doubt their integrity before I had even met them.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. You're right. I am worried for nothing. If you trust them, I am certain that everything will be fine."

The small weight of worry still remained inside of me, despite my best efforts to tell myself that it would be okay. I had no more than a vague feeling that something was about to change, so I suppressed my nerves, and allowed Carlisle to lead me back into the city.

We were left alone as we walked through the streets of Volterra, through archways as we made our way up –quite literally- to the castle. There were two vampires that stood guard at the doorway, and, seeing that we were vampires, they opened the doors for us. Carlisle had explained that there was a system of underground entryways, but that they were generally used more frequently to avoid the sun. Since it was already after dusk, we could use the main entrances.

We walked down the meandering hallways with our fingers entwined, and I allowed myself to focus on Carlisle's presence. The castle itself was beautiful and opulent, but I was too anxious to meet the vampires that ruled over our kind, and that Carlisle considered dear friends. We approached a large chamber, and encountered three women and two men standing in the hallway outside of the doors to the hall. Carlisle's face registered recognition, and his smile widened as the vampires became aware of his presence.

"Carlisle Cullen! You have returned to visit us so soon! How simply marvelous!" One of the women said in greeting. She was stunning, with light brown hair that fell down to her waist.

"Athenodora! It is a pleasure to see you, as always. I trust you have been well?"

"Quite well, thank you," she replied. "What brings you back to Volterra?"

Carlisle quickly turned to me, and gestured me forward. "I wanted to introduce you all to my mate, Isabella."

I sank into a quick curtsey as Carlisle had shown me to do, and smiled at the group.

"Bella, this is Athenodora, mate of Caius; Sulpicia, mate of Aro; and Jane, Felix, and Demetri, all of whom are members of the guard," Carlisle said, indicating each of the vampires.

Sulpicia seemed to radiate a curious combination of aloofness and warmth that I was intrigued by, and she was as beautiful as Athenodora with lovely blond hair. Jane was small, and looked quite young—clearly before she went through puberty. Her red eyes glowed sinisterly in counterpoint to her cherubic face, and for the first time, I truly understood why Edward had always said that a vampire's physical beauty was their most lethal lure. Felix was a very large man, and reminded me a bit of Emmett, but he seemed somehow less friendly. Demetri was actually rather handsome, but in the company of the others, was slightly forgettable in appearance.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintances. Please, call me Bella."

"Any woman who is loved by Carlisle is a friend of ours. Enough with formalities," Sulpicia declared as she stepped forward and took my hands, leaning forward to kiss each of my cheeks. I was glad that my reflexes were now fast enough to return the gesture. As soon as her hands left mine, Athenodora stepped forward, and mimicked Sulpicia's gesture.

Both Demetri and Felix had stepped forward to shake Carlisle's hand as the wives greeted me. As soon as the women moved to embrace Carlisle, the men each stepped forward and took my hand before pressing a kiss to my knuckles. It did not escape my attention that Jane did not approach either Carlisle or myself, but I didn't take offense to it, as the small girl frightened me. Carlisle had told me that her gift was to cause you pain, and I was willing to act however she wanted me to in order to avoid ever feeling her wrath. If she wanted space, I could certainly grant her that.

"I am so happy that you have found yourself a mate, Carlisle," Sulpicia said, squeezing his hands tightly in her own. Both she and Athenodora had skin that looked almost like paper, but the firm grasp of her hands demonstrated that she was not as frail as she looked.

"I am, as well, Sulpicia. I am very lucky to have her."

"How did you meet one another?" Athenodora asked. I was mildly surprised that the men had taken a step back, allowing the two women to dominate the conversation completely.

"We met at a ball, actually," Carlisle said.

"Was it not difficult to be in the same room with so many humans?" Sulpicia asked me.

"I was still a human at that point in time, actually," I offered.

Both women gasped at the information. I was wary about telling them the whole story, but I realized that I would be meeting Aro soon, and it would be common knowledge before long.

"You became close enough to a human to want to change her?" Athenodora asked.

"Our circumstances were rather unique," Carlisle explained. I couldn't suppress my laugh at his understatement, which caused both women to look at me with raised brows.

"I knew no one at the ball, and had only arrived in town that day. I recognized Carlisle immediately, and he was kind enough to offer me his assistance."

"How could you have recognized him?" Sulpicia asked.

"It's actually a rather unbelievable tale. I'm not…from this time." They both simply looked perplexed, so I decided to elaborate. "I'm actually from the future. I knew Carlisle –as well as what he was- in the future. I made a wish while reading a story, and was sent back in time. I knew no one at first, but a pair of very kind girls invited me to a ball. When we arrived, I saw Carlisle, and asked to speak with him in private."

"I would have been more reluctant to believe your story if I hadn't seen the scar on your wrist," Carlisle chimed in.

I caught the matching looks of confusion on Athenodora and Sulpicia's faces before I explained. "I had been bitten in the future, but another vampire sucked the venom from my wound to prevent the change. It left a scar of his bite that shimmered silver; it was obvious how I received the scar. When Carlisle saw it, he knew that I did, in fact, know what he was. It wasn't until I told him everything I knew about his past that he believed that I actually knew _him._"

"After I was certain that her story was accurate, I began to understand her predicament. She had no family here, no money, and her manners were not at all consistent with those of present day society. I offered to give her shelter and tutor her on manners. In return, she offered companionship, and greatly assisted me with my control. It only took me weeks to know that she was the most incredible woman in the world. I couldn't live without her, and when I changed her six months ago, I ensured that I would never have to."

I smiled warmly at Carlisle as he finished telling our story, though I was surprised at how quickly he said that he had realized he was in love with me. "It only took weeks for you to know that you loved me?"

"It was impossible not to love you. I knew that you had been hurt, and I wanted to be certain that you could return my feelings before I admitted them," Carlisle murmured.

I reached up on my toes and kissed him softly. We heard a throat clear close by, and I quickly remembered that we had an audience. Athenodora and Sulpicia were smiling at our story, and Demetri and Felix looked somewhat bored. Jane alone looked put off by our small display of affection, and I wondered if she was old enough to truly pass the "boys have cooties" stage of her life. How tragic for her.

"That is such an unusual story. How fascinating. I hope to hear more about it during your stay?" Athenadora asked.

"It would be my pleasure," I replied.

Felix cleared his throat, and the women stepped back to allow him to join the conversation. "Carlisle, I wanted to offer you congratulations on capturing the attentions of such a beautiful woman. It is rare to see one so well-suited to immortality."

I stepped closer into Carlisle's side, slightly embarrassed by Felix's assertion, though I smiled at his compliment. Carlisle opened his mouth to thank him, but before he could respond, a new figure swept into the hallway. She was a stunning woman with long mahogany hair, and full, voluptuous curves. As soon as she caught sight of Carlisle, she smiled brilliantly.

"Carlisle! You've returned! I knew you would change your mind!" She exclaimed before coming over and pulling him into a hug. Her embrace was far too close for my comfort, and as I saw her slip her hand down to touch just below what I could possibly consider his back, I growled loudly before I could stop myself, and took a step towards Carlisle.

Before I could really understand what was happening apart from this woman touching my mate inappropriately, I heard Sulpicia yell, "no!" She quickly moved in front of me, and glared at Jane, who was glowering at me fiercely.

"What? Why is she not responding? Sulpicia!" She cried, glaring at Sulpicia. "She was going to attack a member of the guard! She could not be allowed to harm Heidi," Jane spat furiously. It was the first time I had heard her speak, and was shocked at how childlike her voice was.

"I wasn't going to attack anyone, I swear…I'm sorry I growled, but I was unprepared to see anyone touch my mate in such a manner," I said, still confused.

"Your mate?" The woman –Heidi, apparently- asked, obviously stunned. She quickly put a bit of space between she and Carlisle, making me relax minutely.

"Yes. She is my fiancée, Heidi. I would appreciate you keeping your distance as to not upset Bella at the moment. She has amazing control, but she is still new to this life," Carlisle explained.

Jane stomped her foot in frustration. Her gaze was still focused on me, and it was anything but friendly.

"Jane, please stop trying to attack Bella. I'm shielding her, and you will not succeed. There is no cause," Sulpicia commanded.

"She made a threatening gesture towards one of the guard!" Jane cried in exasperation.

"I wasn't going to do anything to her," I defended.

"We know that," Athenodora soothed. "Jane is very protective of the guard. I apologize for her rash behavior. Jane, Bella and Carlisle are our guests. You know better than to attack our friends."

She continued to glare at me, but smiled slightly. "Please accept my apologies, Bella…Carlisle. I should not have acted so rashly."

"Thank goodness I know you well enough to have anticipated your attack. My husband would not be so understanding if you had managed to harm the mate of one of his dearest friends," Sulpicia stated.

I drew in a shaky breath, and Carlisle pulled me into a hug, kissing the top of my head.

Sulpicia came and placed a hand on my arm. "I apologize for Heidi's behavior as well. She misinterpreted Carlisle's return, and I fear that she was hoping that he had done so for her. She was always quite fond of him."

I tried to remove the petulance in my voice, and was only mostly successful in doing so when I replied. "I assumed it must have been something like that." I turned to Heidi, "I am sorry that I overreacted to your greeting."

To her credit, she smiled at me, though it was slightly sad. "Please, do not concern yourself. It is to be expected from any mate, but for someone new to this life as you are, it would be understandable for you to have actually attacked me."

"Thank you for understanding. Shall we put this misunderstanding behind us?" She nodded in response. "I am Bella, and it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise. My name is Heidi." She opened her mouth to continue, but the doors to the great hall swung open, and a boy, who looked quite similar to Jane, stood on the other side.

"Sister, we have heard a commotion. Won't you all come in? Oh! Carlisle! Welcome back!" The boy said.

"Carlisle?" Called a voice from within the chamber, echoing within the hall.

We all walked into the hall, and the three men, all of whom I recognized from the painting that hung in Carlisle's study, were approaching us.

"Aro, it is wonderful to see you again good friend," Carlisle stated as he approached the man who stood in the center. He was smiling widely, and I could both men were genuinely glad to see one another.

"I would like you all to meet my mate, Isabella."

"Oh! How charming!" Aro exclaimed, clasping his hands together.

The man in front of me was tall and thin, with hair so light it almost looking the same shade of white as his skin. Next to him was the third man, who I assumed to be Marcus. He had a haunted look on his face—one that could only belong to a man who had lost his entire reason for existence.

"Isabella, this is Aro, Caius, and Marcus," Carlisle said in introduction.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I said with a curtsey. Shockingly, it was Marcus who reached for my hand first, kissing my knuckle the same way Felix and Demetri had. As soon as he released my hand, Caius repeated the gesture.

When I pulled away, I seemed to see different ropes of light tied between each person in the room. Before I could stop and consider what was happening, Aro moved in front of me.

"How enchanting!" He exclaimed. He began to raise his hand towards mine, but stopped before he touched me. "May I?" He questioned.

Taking a deep breath to steel my nerves, I nodded, and attempted a smile. His head bowed towards my lips, and his hand slipped into mine. I had been correct. Visiting the Volturi would forever alter my life, but I had been so very wrong about how that would happen.

Instead of Aro accessing all of _my_ memories, I was privy to _his_.

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**A/N: Next chapter will be up next weekend. Hope you enjoyed meeting the Volturi. **


	8. 7: Insanity and Manipulations

**A/N: I'm so appreciative for everything Bethaboo does for me. She's the best beta a girl could ask for.**

**I know I was completely review reply fail this week. I moved, and figured you'd rather me write this chapter than reply. I did read every one of them, though, and plan on answering any questions that weren't answered in this chapter. I'm so sorry I didn't get to them earlier. I will rectify that as soon as I can. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I still have far too much playing with SM's characters.**

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**Chapter 7: Insanity and Manipulations**

Aro's gift had been driving him mad for centuries. The only way he was able to channel this madness was to use it to keep order. He collected things- people, vampires- in an effort to channel his vast knowledge into challenges. He treated finding new talented vampires to add to his guard the same way I used to treat a shopping list for the grocery store; the procedure was calming to him, and soothed his need for order.

He had been a curious human, who would often meet someone new, and charm them into telling him everything about themselves. Anything he could not learn directly from the person, he would find out later by talking to their friends and family, or through public records. He was voracious for knowledge of a person's history, and was quite adept at finding out all there was to know about every person in his life. It was this talent for discerning a person's history that led to his ability as a vampire.

Over the years, amassing such a collection of memories began to take its toll on his sanity. His curiosity was insatiable, but very rarely did anything actually surprise him. When your greatest delight is exploring a person's history, to be able to see everything with a single touch takes away any challenge. It was for this reason that Aro sought out new challenges to undertake. His search to find something he had never before encountered left his mind slightly manic, and more than a little unstable. He was not yet dangerous, but he had the potential to be so.

Carlisle had been the most unique and interesting thing he had encountered in millennia. He had never before encountered a vampire that believed himself human enough to choose not to feed off of his natural food source. He believed Carlisle's logic flawed, as well as unnecessary, but even though Aro knew the though process that led Carlisle to his decision to only drink from animals, his differing ethos prevented him from ever being able to truly _understand_.

His mind was a web, spiraling out in infinite directions. In many ways, his mind was like a tree—every person he touched was a separate branch, and every thought they had ever had was a new leaf. He had catalogued and acknowledged every thought he had seen in everyone's mind, keeping each history perfectly preserved within him. Now, since his gift had somehow been transferred to me, all the information and memories he had stored in his mind had somehow been given to me.

I felt as if I had just violated every single person that had ever touched Aro. It was like I couldn't stop the influx of thoughts. I was lucky that Aro was so preoccupied with trying to read my thoughts, staring at our jointed hands, that he failed to notice the look of surprise that I could not keep from my face. The rush of instantaneous information forced the breath from my lungs, and I swallowed the rush of venom from my mouth. From Aro's memories, these reactions happened every time he used his gift.

What disturbed me most was the knowledge that he could not control the use of this gift. I recalled Edward speaking of his ability to hear thoughts, and though he told me he could not silence the thoughts of others, he was able to sort of push them to the back of his consciousness. Aro was not as fortunate. Any physical contact resulted in a complete reading of the person. In all the millennia he had been a vampire, he had only learned how to focus on the recent past instead of a full history of those he had previously read; even if he had ever had the inclination to block his talent, he could not do so.

He finally let my hand go, and I was all too aware of his frustration. It was no accident that his wife was a mental shield, but she could lower her shield if she so chose, and he had read her mind. That I would not automatically allow him access to my memories shocked him. He had luckily decided that I was also a shield, but being young, had not learned how to control it yet.

"I see you are a shield, like my mate, Sulpicia. How very fortunate for you to be immune to many of the more harmful talents in existence." Of course, he had already decided what he wanted to say before releasing my hand, and I knew this before he opened his mouth. I also knew that he was mildly upset that he would not be able to use the gifts of his guards on me in the future, but saw neither Carlisle nor I as any sort of threat.

I knew that while he appreciated my ability to shield, he also had no real need for me to join his guard. He already had both a physical and mental shield in Renata and Sulpicia, and my apparent ability to shield seemed no different than his mate's. I would be extraneous, and Aro, despite his penchant for collecting talented vampires, hated dead weight.

"Actually, Sulpicia used her shield to protect me when Jane attacked me earlier. There was a slight misunderstanding, and she mistook me for a threat," I replied.

"What happened, young Isabella?"

"Heidi propositioned me in the hallway, unaware that Bella was my mate. When Bella growled in response, Jane believed she was a threat, and tried to cause Bella pain. It was lucky that Sulpicia was there, since she had no intention of attacking Heidi. For a newborn, Bella is exceptionally controlled," Carlisle explained.

"Is she shielding you now?" Aro asked.

It was Sulpicia who answered. "No, I'm not. I stopped when you reached for her hand. It appears as if my actions were unnecessary, though, since you were unable to read her. I had been surprised that I shielded you in time; perhaps I hadn't after all."

"Did you know that you were a shield?" Aro questioned.

"No. I wasn't actively doing anything, either. I wouldn't have known that Jane was using her power against me until Sulpicia acted. I do know that you are not the first vampire who was not able to read my mind, though." I replied. Until I was certain what had just happened, I didn't want to tell Aro about the fact that I could do much more than simply shield myself.

"That does sound like our dear Jane. How marvelous for you! It is not a pleasant sensation, Jane's power. I was curious once, and requested she use it on me. It is not something I would elect to feel again," Aro stated, not knowing that I had already seen his own memories of the event. I was exceptionally glad that she had not been able to hurt me.

"That is what I understand from the various accounts I have heard of it," I stated.

"What other vampire has tried to read your mind? I was unaware of any others who possessed the talent," Aro asked, turning his attention to the other information I offered, his curiosity obviously piqued.

"He is not alive at this time," I stated. I had already told his mate that I was from the future, and I knew I would be unable to keep the truth from Aro. I hadn't had time to fully process the fact that I used his power, and I wanted to talk to Carlisle about how to proceed on that topic. If he found that I regularly withheld information from him at every turn simply because I could, he would be exceedingly upset. I needed to be as forthcoming with the topic of my past as possible when Aro asked, as I knew he would. "He could read the thoughts of those around him, yet my mind was silent to him, even as a human."

"That is an interesting turn of phrase, Isabella." Aro's eyes flashed with calculation. "If he had been alive, it would be far more likely for I to have met him than you, especially because you were human then." It wasn't a question, but an observation meant to require my clarification. I had seen this tactic used many times before by Aro in his memories.

"I'm impressed by your skills of deduction. You are correct that you would likely have known of him before I did, had it not been for my unusual circumstances."

"What would those circumstances be, Bella?" He wasn't quite losing his temper, but he wasn't terribly fond of needing to wheedle the information out of others.

"I was born in the year 1991." Aro, Marcus, and Caius all gasped audibly, reminding me that the other two Volturi leaders were still present. "I made a wish to be sent to the time of Jane Austen to fall in love, and I arrived in Ware, England in the year 1815. There, I was invited to a ball where I met Carlisle once again. I had known him in the future, and after telling him my story, he agreed to help me."

"Why did you believe her, Carlisle?" Aro asked.

"She knew details about my life that I had not told anyone apart from you, Aro. She also had the most peculiar manners; it was clear she was not from the time as soon as I spent five minutes in her presence," Carlisle replied.

"Were you not concerned that a human would find out your secret?"

"No. She already knew what I was."

Aro once again gasped. "How did you know?" He asked me angrily.

"There was a local native legend about 'Cold Ones,' and I deduced that the members of Carlisle's family were, in fact, vampires. They only confirmed it because I already knew too much, but I never told anyone."

"Native legends? From where are these natives?"

"America," I answered. "That's not important, though. It was through this knowledge that I had met Carlisle, and because he treated me when I went to the emergency room with injuries. If I didn't have that knowledge, I would never have met the love of my existence."

Carlisle smiled widely at my words, and game my shoulder a squeeze. "I, for one, am very glad you knew. I don't want to know what my life would be like without you."

"Perhaps no, but you will never have to do so."

"I suppose there is nothing that can be done. I would caution you, Carlisle, my dear friend, that you be more careful with whom you share your information-Bella has been changed, but you are not allowed to expose yourself to humans. Only if you intend on turning them, it is acceptable." With his warning issued, Aro turned back to me. "I would love to hear about the future in more detail. Such an intriguing prospect."

"I would be happy to talk to you about it, but I fear I am unable to go into too many specifics, because I do not want it to influence the future."

"Does she not tell you about your future? That must be maddening," he asked, addressing Carlisle.

"She tells me nothing, but I am honestly more interested in exploring our future together."

"It is a commendable goal, my friend," Aro said, his words uncommonly sincere. He respected Carlisle, and was happy that we had found such strong love with one another. "I can understand and respect your wishes."

I didn't want to speak any further about the future, so I shifted the conversation away from my unusual past, I decided to utilize my newfound knowledge of what made Aro happiest. The Volturi leader was particularly fond of deference. "I wanted to thank you for allowing us to see you today. Carlisle spoke so fondly of you, and his time here in Volterra, that I wanted to see the place that had helped him so greatly in the past," I said with a smile.

Aro's eyes flashed with delight, as I had anticipated, and I knew I had made the right choice in acknowledging Aro's status. A little extra flattery never hurt, either.

"Of course, Isabella! It brings me great joy to see Carlisle so happy, and with a mate! He had been so lonely, even during the time he spent here with us in Volterra, it is wonderful to see him with a companion, especially one so beautiful and kind as you," Aro declared. I was grateful to be secure in the knowledge that he genuinely did enjoy seeing Carlisle happy and mated; as much as he wanted to convince Carlisle to stay in Volterra and embrace their way of life, he sincerely viewed Carlisle as a friend, and wanted the best for him.

"Thank you. I have to admit that I feel as though I am the lucky one, though. Carlisle is an incredible man, and I feel so very blessed that I can be with him for eternity," I replied.

Carlisle took the momentary lapse in conversation to speak. "Actually, old friend, I was hoping you could do us a favor."

"What can I do for you, Carlisle?" Aro questioned. I admit, I was curious as well.

"Before Bella was changed, she consented to be my wife. We cannot have a human wedding at this point, as she is too new to this life, but I was wondering if you would be willing to oversee a ceremony while we are here."

"You want to marry me here, Carlisle?" I asked with a smile.

His answering smile was gentle, and filled with a sweet anticipation. "I would have married you before now if I could have. My only real friends are here, and I would very much appreciate it if they could attend a ceremony. We don't need a church to commit to one another; the people in this room have memories that are longer than those of the church, anyways."

"I would love that if Aro would allow us. Only… I know how important the church is to you. Are you certain that you wouldn't mind being married outside of one?" I asked him. His faith, though he didn't speak of it often, was very strong, and guided his actions.

"I believe that God can accept our vows, whether we are in a church or a field. The important thing is that we make them, and believe in them."

I smiled at Carlisle, feeling so much love for him. He was kind and patient, and gave so much of himself to others. I rarely considered all the ways in which he took liberties with convention. For someone born so far in the past, his thinking was quite progressive. There were times when I forgot that he had not traveled back in time with me, his system of beliefs was more advanced than Edward's had been in 2010.

"How soon can we be married?" I asked, smiling broadly. I shifted my gaze from Carlisle to Aro, keeping the smile firmly planted on my lips.

Aro returned my smile. "I would be honored to join you both as mates, old friend. Perhaps in a week, to allow Isabella to find a proper dress and make some preparations?"

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you so much!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, Aro, thank you so very much for doing this for us."

"You are most welcome, both of you. Now, I believe Heidi will be returning with our meal, and you are welcome to join us," he offered.

"I'm sorry, but I, like Carlisle, don't wish to feed from humans. I think we'll take our leave and go hunting, if that's alright?"

"Certainly, Isabella. If you should ever change your mind, the invitation will stand. I look forward to speaking with you again, soon," he said.

With his clear dismissal of our presence, Carlisle and I ran out of the castle, and through the tunnels. We didn't stop running until we found a nearby forest.

x-x-x

We hunted fairly quickly, as there was a surprising amount of local wildlife. I was excited to come across a wild boar. While it did not smell like the ham or bacon I expected it to, it was certainly better than the deer I had grown accustomed to in England. I knew there were foxes somewhere in Italy, but I hadn't seen any.

As soon as I had consumed my fill, I took a deep breath, and stumbled to the nearest tree, leaning against it heavily. I slid down the trunk until I found myself sitting on the ground, still leaning my back against the tree. It was as if my entire world was altered in an instant, and I had not had a chance to think about what it all meant until I had a moment to myself.

Earlier, I felt like I had violated everyone who had ever touched Aro. This was still true, only I had not stopped to consider the implications for my future. I knew all of Carlisle's thoughts from before I had met him. While he had freely spoken of his past with me, it was something completely different to actually see every thought and memory for myself. I was torn between being so amazed by how his mind worked, and guilty that I had invaded his privacy so completely.

I didn't know what to do. I had to talk to him –I knew that- but I didn't know what I could possibly say. I couldn't touch him without violating the sanctity of his mind, but I didn't know how I could even consider not touching my mate. His touch calmed me, reassured me. With the fresh blood from my hunt coursing through my veins, I craved he feel of his skin against mine as we made love. I could not live without Carlisle's touch.

Before I could decide how to proceed, I heard his soft footsteps approaching me. I looked up at him, and knew he wondered why I had asked for us to hunt separately. When he spoke, his voice was soft. "I'm so happy that we'll be married so soon. I'm sorry I didn't discuss it with you before asking Aro; it really hadn't occurred to me before then."

"I'm happy, too. I was surprised, but I certainly have no objections to becoming your wife as soon as possible," I replied.

"Then can I ask why you seem to be miles away?"

"I'm sorry. I really don't mean to be," I said.

He sat down beside me, and lifted his hand to pull my hair behind my shoulder. Before he could touch me, I pulled away from him. I saw the hurt cross his face as soon as I looked at him, and he didn't remove his hand.

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

"Bella, what's the matter?" Carlisle asked, his voice dripping with pained confusion.

"I think I have Aro's power," I stated. I had debated whether or not to simply tell him, but after seeing the hurt on his face when I moved away from his touch, I knew that I had to tell him the truth.

"What do you mean, you have Aro's power?" He asked slowly.

"When he touched me, I saw every memory he's ever had, and those of anyone he's ever touched." I paused until I saw his eyes go wide, and then a light of comprehension cross his features. "I saw your memories from when you were here before. I see everything from everyone. It's like a giant maze appeared in my head, and now I have to figure out what turns I want to make."

"I don't understand how this could happen," he said, shaking his head.

"I think I take the powers of those around me. I'm not a shield-well, I wasn't before, but I'm pretty sure I took Sulpicia's shield. When we first walked into the throne room, we shook Caius and Marcus's hands, and then I saw the bonds between everyone in the room. It was like everyone had a shimmering rope of light connecting to each other, and the thickness and color showed the nature and strength of the bond. When I touched Aro's hand, he may not have been able to read my mind, but I certainly was able to read his. Every thought he has ever had, even in passing. It's so much to take in!" I knew I would have to tell Aro about my ability, but after seeing his penchant for collecting talented vampires, I did not want to do so before talking to Carlisle first.

He moved closer, and lifted his arm again to wrap it around my shoulders, and I quickly backed away from him. This time, I could feel anger mix with the hurt he felt rolling off of him in waves. "Why won't you let me comfort you, Bella?"

"If you touch me, I will hear every thought you have ever had. I may have taken your previous thoughts from Aro's mind before, but I will not invade your privacy willingly!"

"Do you mean to imply that you won't touch me because you're afraid of invading my memories?"

"I'm not implying anything, Carlisle. I clearly said exactly that," I spat. I wasn't angry with him, but I was angry at the situation. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't know what to do! I don't want this!"

"I know you didn't ask for this, Bella, but I can't live my life not being able to touch my mate. It goes against every instinct I have. I need to feel you, touch you, love you. I don't think I can be complete if I cannot have physical contact with you."

His words made my eyes slip close, and I exhaled a breath slowly. "How can you want to touch me, knowing that I will violate your mind? You will have no privacy from me as soon as I brush my skin against yours, and it only takes a moment for it to happen. How can you want to put yourself in that position."

"Bella, I love you, and have trusted you completely from the moment you stood in front of me, telling me details of my life that no one else knew. You already know me better than anyone, and there's no secret I need to protect from you, and certainly not one that would be worth more to me than being able to hold you in my arms." He chuckled slightly and shook his head. "Though, I suppose it will never again be possible to surprise you."

I smiled sadly at him. "I just wish that I didn't need to worry about this. I won't be able to kiss you without knowing every thought that passes through your mind."

He broke into a smile, and his eye twinkled. "Then I must make certain to think about how incredible you are every moment of every day."

"You really don't hate me for this?" I asked. Carlisle was the most understanding man I had ever met, and while I knew it was not in his nature to hate anyone, this was a huge bombshell to drop on him, especially when I had no method of prevention.

"I could never hate you, Bella, and this wasn't your fault. You didn't ask for this. I'm not entirely sure how this happened, but we'll figure it out. Together," he assured me.

"I love you, Carlisle."

"I love you, too, Bella," he said, smiling at me. "Now, may I please kiss you?"

He didn't wait for me to respond before he pressed his lips against mine, and I suddenly saw _everything._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: Next update will be next weekend, and, you guessed it, we're getting a CPOV. A bunch of you asked about that, but I didn't want to spoil Bella's power.**


	9. 8: God and Monsters

**A/N: Thank you so much to Bethaboo, for being not only an outstanding beta, but also a great friend. **

**Special thanks on this chapter to Giselle-lx. You pointed me to some amazing resources, and really made this chapter have some accuracy. **

**I'm so sorry for the delay, and thank you all for being so patient. Chapter 8 is mostly written in modified Early Modern English. I know it's not precise, but I wanted to err on the side of accessibility over strict accuracy. Third person past tense should really end in "th," but I didn't want to make it too heavy feeling. Hope you like it anyways. It took a lot of research to finish this.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I like to think I put my own personal stamp on Carlisle's backstory.

* * *

**

**Chapter 8: God and Monsters**

_**Carlisle Cullen**_

_**1648**_

"_Papa?" _

"_Yes, Carlisle?"_

"_Where is my mother? The other boys I know have papas and mamas."_

"_Your mother lives in Paradise with God."_

"_When will she return?"_

"_She will return not, my son."_

"_Wherefore did she go to Paradise?"_

"_God wanted her to be closer to Him, and she died while bringing you into the world so she could join him."_

"_Will He want me also?"  
_

"_Only if you pray and show Him pure devotion."_

"_I will, Papa, I swear it!"_

"_Trust that you do, Carlisle, and you will see your mother once again."

* * *

_

_**1660**_

"_Carlisle, 'tis time for you to accompany me on raids. One day, this task shall be in your charge. We must cast the Devil from this world, so that God's grace may be enjoyed by all those on Earth."_

"_How can we be certain that those we hunt are truly in the Devil's employ?"_

"_Their wickedness is apparent, and I shall show you the tests that prove it."_

"_Father, if they were wicked, would God not punish them Himself?"_

"_He will punish them as they face judgment. It is our duty to rid witches, werewolves, and vampires from the world. Do you believe it not that they should burn for their sins?"_

"_I believe those in league with the Devil should burn, as you are aware, yet my conscience would not abide if we should persecute the innocent."_

"_I understand your concerns, Carlisle, but this is God's work that we do, and I would never send someone who has committed no crime to their death." _

"_I trust you, Papa. You are a good man, and I know you to be incapable of such an injustice."

* * *

_

_**1663**_

"_My father has entrusted me with this task. Many of you believe, as I have, that those he has accused of such evil deeds as witchcraft have been innocent. I promise that I am not as quick to accuse. The charges faced are too serious in nature to be taken lightly. My father was neither cruel nor false in his accusations, yet I believe a more judicious approach must be made. Lives are at stake, as well as damnation and salvation. _

"_We all know that there are apparitions, witches, and demons among us. Creatures like werewolves and vampires can walk not in daylight as we can. The monsters shall be not those we see in the sun's rays, but rather will be those confined to the shadows. We shall search every corner in which they could hide, and we shall find the demons and agents of the Devil. We shall destroy them, and send them to judgment."_

_I speak the words in my heart, and believe they are true. My father was wrong to condemn so many. I know he means well, yet his actions –our actions- have weighed heavily on my soul. Can he their innocence as they burn? Does he believe that he can rid the world of evil creatures when God Himself cannot? _

_His heart is pure, and his faith is great, yet I will abide not by his eagerness to punish the accused. Surely, he must see that when we place rocks on a woman to see if she is a witch, her death is certain either way. If her chest is crushed by the weight of the rocks, she is dead from lack of breath; if she survives the weight, it is certain she will burn. I refuse to believe that God's work is served when the innocent are killed. _

_I agreed to lead the raids because my father is too old and ill to do so personally, but I believe that some good can come from my post, as well. I can find where the demons and monsters dwell, seek them in the shadows they inhabit, and burn them to destroy their evil. I relish not taking a life, yet if this is God's plan, I must trust He has a reason. If I do His will on Earth, I may be rewarded with Paradise, as was my mother. _

_I send those in my party to scour the streets for demons. Tonight, we hunt for monsters. Tonight, we shall find those that lurk in the shadows. A chill sweeps through me, and I begin to pray under my breath. I trust that God will save me, should I be successful in my quest. I turn down an alley, and I see a figure loom in the dim light of the moon._

_It begins to run, moving far too fast away from me; the creature is not human._

"_Halt!" I cry, trying to stop it. It turns, and is in front of me within mere seconds. I fumble in my tunic for the small cross I carry, yet his hands are on my arm, preventing its movement, before I can grasp it. His iron grasp crushes the bone; I have overestimated my ability to fight these demons. _

_I am going to die._

_I feel his face at my neck before a searing pain rips through me. I scream in agony, despite my knowledge that none can save me._

"Our Father, who art in Heaven,

Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done,

On Earth, as it is in Heaven…"

_My prayer is shouted, until the words no longer are intelligible. Silence is necessary, unless I wish the others to find me, and meet the same fate. With great effort, I silence my anguish, and take comfort that I shall soon finally meet my mother._

_I faintly hear noise, yet cannot distinguish the origin. The vampire flees, yet the pain continues to intensify. He has set me ablaze without fire. How foolish to believe that _I_ would be the one to burn _him.

_I remain silent as the fire consumes me, and pull myself into an abandoned potato cellar. I wait for death during the unending flames, yet it does not come. My heart beats rapidly as my mouth opens, screaming without sound. Sound would require air, and I have breath no longer. The pounding intensifies, and every part of my being is scorched, until it all suddenly stops._

_I gasp a breath, glad the fire had receded, but it is located in my throat. What ailing humor is this? I am… thirsty. The creature was a vampire, I can doubt that not. In the quiet of the night, I hear the rush of heartbeats from above me, and the scurrying feet of insects around me. No sound comes from within me. Still, I am animated. He did not kill me, as I had feared he would. _

_He did something far worse; he made me like him. The thirst in my throat is painful, yet cannot compare to the horror of my own self. I am a vampire.

* * *

_

_**1676**_

_I starve, yet cannot die. I will not drink the blood of other men; I will not be the monster my father has always hated so. I wish to die, yet am unsuccessful in my attempts to take my life. What else can I try? I have thrown myself into the Thames, only to tarry at the bottom for hours. I have jumped off cliffs, only to land at the nadir unscathed. _

_What a fool was I to believe a mere human could ever harm one so indestructible as a vampire._

_I have cast myself from society. I cannot bear to smell the blood of humans and not drink from them. My shortcomings are abhorrent to myself. I have been cursed. Perhaps my father was right, and God was punishing me for my reticence to persecute the innocent. I believed it not that He would be so cruel, as I was only trying to follow His plan. I can deny not that I have become the same creatures that my father taught me to hunt. _

_Can a monster such as I enter Paradise?_

_I wander towards the forests, and catch a scent in the wind. It is fresh blood, but is not human. I race in the scent's direction, and find a herd of deer. I do not hesitate to jump on the largest buck's back and sink my teeth into the flesh of his neck._

_For the first time, I allow blood to flow down my throat, and am gratified that I do not feel any guilt at my action.

* * *

_

_**1684**_

_I have returned to my father's house. I hope to find him well, yet I know he was ill before I fled London. I approach the house, and find it empty. There are cobwebs in the corners, and layers of dust coating the furniture. Father has not lived here for years. I exit the house, and encounter my neighbor. _

"_Are you looking for Pastor Cullen?"_

"_Yes, I am. Has he moved?" I ask him._

"_I am so sorry, but the pastor has been dead for years. You look like his son, Carlisle. Are you a relative?"_

_I could not admit the truth, yet did not want to lie. "I am his son," I reply, knowing he would assume I was my own son, instead of my father's. Twenty years have passed, and my body has aged not._

"_It is a pleasure to meet you. Your father is a great man."_

"_Thank you," I say, comforted slightly that a man who has known me my entire life believed me a good man. "What happened to the pastor?"_

"_He died soon after your father left. He passed as he slept; I believe it was a peaceful end."_

_I'm grateful that he did not seem to suffer; still, my father is dead, and I will never again see him. Like my mother, I shall never be reunited with my father. He is dead, and I wasn't able to say goodbye. _

_I can only take comfort that he will never know the cursed creature I have become._

_My neighbor tells me of the inheritance my father left, and though I knew my father was a wealthy man, his modest life as a pastor hid much of the wealth from me. Now I, assumed to be the son of myself, am a wealthy man who cannot live in such populated surroundings. _

_Memories of my father invade me, flickering like shadows in my mind, and I bid adieu to my neighbor. I must flee; I must escape knowing that I cannot ever return home.

* * *

_

_**1722**_

_Swimming the English Channel is an experience I believe few others have enjoyed. Certainly none other has experienced it as I— viewing the shipwrecks forgotten in its murky depths. I feel like the ships that litter the bottom: I was once filled with potential for greatness, only to know the pain of failure. I succeeded in finding a cursed creature –a vampire- only to fall prey to his cunning. _

_The ships are beautiful, even after their destruction. Some are beautiful as a result of such damage. I hope that I am like these broken ships…that someone shall find some form of beauty inside of me._

_Crossing the Channel into the rest of Europe is not nearly as difficult as I had imagined, nor as time consuming. Despite my unanticipated explorations of the sunken ships, I arrive in France before nightfall. I had thought that France would feel different than England, yet I feel no stirrings of unfamiliarity. _

_I have yet to speak a word, and I know that doing so shall present a challenge. _

_For all of his distaste for the Roman Catholic Church, my father was adamant that I learn the Italian language. I always believed he taught me Italian in place of Latin as a slight act of defiance. Now, it provides a destination for my sojourn. I run to the southeast, hoping that I will arrive in Italy by and by._

_I hear the Italian language spoken as I run past small villages, though no more than a few hours have passed. My ears perk up as I hear the word for vampire, and I cease running. There is a festival in a town adjacent to where I am, celebrating a saint who drove the vampires from Volterra. Immediately, I change my course, and run to Volterra. _

_If there was a man who could cast the demons from the land, perhaps the knowledge would be passed to the inhabitants of the city. I have found a way to feed without killing humans, yet my father taught me that a vampire's very existence was cursed and unnatural. I have been unsuccessful in my attempts to end my damned existence thus far; certainly there are those who have destroyed vampires in the past, and I will beg them to end my life. I refuse to spend immortality cursed in this unnatural state._

_I enter the square, and find hundreds of humans, their scent permeating the air. They are all wearing strange garb—matching red, hooded cloaks. Is this some strange Italian custom? A strange scent hangs in the air around me, sweet and enticing, and I find myself moving towards it before I had made the decision to do so. It led to a system of sewers, and I hesitate not to continue along their path. _

_I emerge, and find myself standing in a large antechamber, face to face with a man with red eyes. He is breathing, yet I hear no heartbeat. No, I am face to face with a _vampire_ with red eyes. Despite my aversion to looking glasses, I know my eyes have not been red since my first months as a vampire. I believed the vampires were driven from this village years ago, resulting in the current festivities._

"_What is your business in Volterra?" the vampire questions._

"_I heard of the festival, and wished to see if there was such a man as could end my cursed existence," I reply. _

_"You are no more cursed than I," the man retorts, unaware of his own damnation. "If death is what you seek, it can be achieved by the hands of the Volturi—provided they consent, of course."_

"_Who are the Volturi?" I ask._

"_The Volturi rule our kind, and uphold our laws." He notices the confusion plain on my face. "Did the one who created you not explain the rules of secrecy?"_

_I shake my head. "No. I believe he meant to drain me, rather than make me like him. His feeding was interrupted by a mob that hunted him."_

"_He had been exposed?" The man asks, his eyes narrowing in anger that I don't believe is directed towards me. _

"_Only by my screams of pain. I led the raid before I was bitten, yet believed not that I would be successful."_

"_You hunted vampires as a human? Were you mad?"  
_

_Perhaps I had been, now knowing my immense strength and lack of weaknesses. "My father was a very pious man, and believed all cursed creatures should be banished from the earth."_

_He was silent for several long moments, as he seemed to search my face for some hidden answer. "Aro will be intrigued by you. Pray tell, what is your name?"_

"_Cullen. My name is Carlisle Cullen."_

"_Well met, Carlisle Cullen. I am Demetri Supricova."_

"'_Tis a pleasure, Demetri."_

_He leads me into a great hall, where three regal figures sit in thrones. The central figure rises before gliding over to me. "My dear, Demetri! You have brought a visitor!" The vampire takes Demetri's hand in his own, falling silent momentarily. When he drops Demetri's hand, he looks at me with widened eyes and raised eyebrows. "Welcome to Volterra, Carlisle Cullen."_

_I feel my own eyes widen, and I gasp quietly. "How do you know my name? What sort of sorcery is this?" I demand._

_The vampire has the nerve to laugh softly. "Fear not, good sir. It is merely a talent I possess. My name is Aro, and these are my brothers Marcus, and Caius," he states, indicating the two other vampires behind him. "I am able to read every thought a person has had when I touch their skin. May I?" He asks, extending his hand to me._

_I know not if I wish to give him access to my thoughts. Could it be a benefit? Perhaps, if he knows how I long to end my cursed life, he will consent to assist me in my quest. I draw in a deep breath to steady my nerves, and lift my hand to his. I feel nothing, apart from the solid weight of his hand. It has been so long since I've been touched by anyone. Whatever magic he is working, I cannot feel any change within me. When he opens his eyes and releases my hand, it is clear that he is satisfied. _

"_I will not end a man's life unnecessarily, Carlisle—may I call you Carlisle?" I nod. "You are far from cursed, my friend. I have lived for three thousand years, and have seen your God's conception and ascent to power. Vampires have no quarrel with God or His Devil; such figures are concepts of man. Vampires are removed from the plights of mortals. We help garner their knowledge of emerging philosophies and sciences, and are patrons of the arts. _

"_Damnation is reserved for those who will die. You are a vampire, and shall live forever, Carlisle Cullen. You refuse to kill humans. I have never heard of such a thing. How can a man so concerned about humanity and morality -even after becoming a vampire- believe that his God would forsake him? Your fears are misplaced. Stay with us here in Volterra, and learn what being a vampire truly means. If you remain steadfast in your belief that you are cursed, we will help you in your quest for death."_

_It is not the offer I expect, nor is it what I thought I wanted even an hour ago, yet I find myself unable to deny its appeal. _

_I consent, and Aro's smile stretches wide.

* * *

_

_**1795**_

_I have learned a great deal from the Volturi. Perhaps Aro has kept me here out of curiosity, yet I have found my purpose. Though he can read my thoughts, he can understand not my actions. I refuse to drink from humans, and he refuses to stop. I appreciate learning about the arts and sciences, but I cannot continue to live amongst those who would slaughter the innocent. _

_I will cherish the time I have spent here, but it is time to enter the world outside Volterra's walls. The Volturi taught to adapt my speech and manners to those of the current time. I plan to live amongst humans; it would be foolhardy to expose my true nature by not adapting to the present societal customs. _

_As I leave the city I have lived in for longer than the one I once called home, I cannot help but become excited for my future. I will venture forth to America, in hopes of starting a new life in the New World. Strangely, I cannot resist returning to England beforehand. Some unknown force is pulling me back to my homeland, as if my future will be incomplete if I do not go.

* * *

_

_**1815**_

_I abhor these balls. They are tedious at best, and torturous at worst. I cannot recall the point in time in which women were instructed to do nothing to further their minds. They come to balls and dance and laugh, as if they were joyous ballerinas, and all I wish is for _one_ of them to engage me in actual conversation. I enjoy being in the company of humans; I simply detest how women are currently viewed. In my youth, women were viewed as capable of more than dancing, sewing, and playing music. They were worth more than simply bearing children. _

_Women attend these balls to find a husband. The women of this age offer too little stimulation to my mind to tempt me. I feel more alone and isolated here than I ever have. I want a companion, someone to share my life with… not a prop._

_I speak with a Mr. Danvers, trying to pass the time. Perhaps I will be fortunate enough to avoid conversation with the insipid females surrounding me. I catch a lovely floral scent, and hear a rapidly beating heart. Someone is standing behind me, and refuses to interrupt my conversation. Perhaps they will become bored and leave me in peace? No. Mr. Danvers departs, and I feel a tapping on my shoulder. A human is voluntarily touching me?_

_I turn around and raise my eyebrows at the lady in front of me. She is stunning, with long, brown hair and wide brown eyes. She looks at me –examines me- as if she knows who I am, and is excited to see me. "Oh my god, Carlisle!" she whispers. "I'm so glad I found you!"_

_She takes a step forward, and I believe she means to embrace me. I do not know this woman, despite her apparent familiarity with me. If not for my impeccable memory, I would think I had already made her acquaintance. I step back, and widen my eyes. _

_"I'm sorry, miss, but do I know you?" I ask as politely as possible. I once again search her delicate features, and wish I could claim to know her. _

_"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen," she stammers. "I'm Bella Swan."_

_"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Swan," I say. I cannot determine how she would know my name; I heard no one speaking of me that I did not know._

_"I know this is a lot to ask you, but can I just talk to you for a minute? It'll only take a second, but I sort of really need your help," she says._

_Her speech is flawed and strange. I do not know her, and am wary of her intentions. Still, she is plainly panicked, and I feel oddly drawn to her. She is beautiful, and is not wary of me as most humans are. Her eyes are honest, and I cannot bring myself to deny her. I find myself agreeing. I want to know what secrets she holds. She turns and heads towards the exit, and I follow. _

_"I never thought I'd see you here," she says quickly. "Um… I mean, I'm surprised to see you."_

_"Miss Swan, I'm quite confident that I have never had the pleasure of a previous introduction, yet you seem to be under a different impression altogether," I state._

_She breathes deeply, and I wonder what explanation she can give me. She traces her fingers along her wrist, and I notice a flash of silver. She has a crescent shaped scar on her wrist. It is clearly a bite mark from a vampire. I pull her hand into mine before I consider my actions, and examine the mark._

_"How did you get this, Miss Swan?" I demand. How was she alive if she had been bitten?_

_"I… I got it from a rather unfriendly… man. His eyes were not the same lovely color as yours," She looked at me pointedly, and I know definitively that she knows what I am. She is both in danger, and placing me in danger. _

_"He bit you, and yet you're still human." It was a statement of fact. She nods in response. "How is that even possible?"_

_"The venom was sucked out before it had the chance to spread. It prevented the change."_

_"I've never heard of such a thing. It's rather incredible."_

_"Of course you'd think so. It was your damn idea," she mutters. I'm certain I wasn't meant to hear it. If she knew of vampires, surely she would be informed of our heightened senses. By the look on her face, she had merely forgotten._

_Despite her knowledge of my true nature, I do not know why she wished to speak with me, or how she knew my name. My patience is wearing thin. "You speak of knowing me, and yet we have not met. I'm afraid, Miss Swan, that I really must insist on some answers. You clearly have knowledge that humans should not possess."_

_"Well, I do, yes. But I promise not to tell anyone. I know you'd be in trouble, and the truth is, I need your help. If I exposed you, I'd be completely screwed."_

_"You have the oddest manner of speech, Miss Swan, and I'll admit that I don't know what to make of you," I inform her. _

_"I'm really sorry. I promise that I'll explain everything, but… not here. I came here tonight because the nice girl I met earlier, Jane? She mentioned a Mr. Cullen. And I actually thought I was dreaming, and got excited that there was someone else I knew, but I didn't even think it was you, but when I saw it was, I knew you were the only person who could help me. So, please, is there anywhere that we could go talk? Like, do you have a house somewhere that's far away from prying ears?"_

_I cannot determine why I find myself nodding in assent. She is a strange lady, yet I feel as if I am meant to know her. I lead her to my house, wondering how my life will change with her acquaintance.

* * *

_

**A/N: I'll post as soon as I can-hopefully by next weekend. We'll see more of Carlisle's view on falling in love with Bella, and his thoughts on her newfound power. Again, thanks for your patience and understanding.**


	10. 9: Honesty and Privacy

**A/N: Thank you to my seriously incredible beta, Bethaboo. She turned this around like lightning. For serious.**

**I'm sorry I've been review reply fail. I read every single one, and smile. These last couple chapters have taken a bit longer for me to write, so I've been focusing on getting them up as fast as I can. I'm in the home stretch for my other story, In the Shadow of Ursa Major, so my focus will be on AUL once that is complete. A special thank you to the AUL readers who have checked ItSoUM out, and reviewed over there. It's like getting a huge hug. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters, but I adore transplanting them.**

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* * *

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**Chapter 9: Honesty and Privacy**

_**Carlisle Cullen**_

_"Did you stay like that all night?" she asks me; I nod in reply. "Weren't you bored sitting like this?"_

_"Actually, I found watching you sleep to be rather soothing. You looked so peaceful." In watching her sleep, I am able to rest as if I were doing so myself. "It has been a very long time since I have been able to sleep at all, and I found watching you sleep to be quite relaxing."_

_Perhaps it is the calm she brings me. For over a century, I have wandered this world in vain, trying to find some semblance of peace. This slip of a girl accosts me in a public ball, laden with the knowledge of my darkest secrets, and I find myself unable to view her as a threat. I know her not, yet her familiarity with my own history belays my suspicions._

_"How old do people think you are right now?" she asks, and my incredulity is apparent. Her speech is so direct, and manners uncouth, and I fear she would be unable to blend into society. "I'm sorry. It's just, when I met you in 2010, you were pretending to be in your mid-thirties, and I thought I should know more about your cover if I am going to interact with people who know you."_

_Surely, she cannot mean to enter society at present. She has no family, and her manners are crude at best. She would expose herself –and me- within minutes. I cannot allow her to converse with others at present._

_"Well, I have actually been claiming to be my human age of 23; I had no reason to age myself more than that. I would like to discuss with you what your intentions are for the future, however."_

_She studies my face, her large brown eyes searching my own for answers. I sense her confusion, and find it endearing. "I don't understand."_

_"Precisely. I was considering our situation while you were sleeping. As a brief return to that topic, I would eventually desire to know what an email is, and why you need to send one to a cat, but there are more pressing topics to discuss," I inform her, remembering her strange mumbles spoken whilst she dreamt. "I don't know how broach this subject delicately, but I do not believe that you should be allowed to present yourself to society at the moment."_

_"You want me to hide from people?" She knows not how long I contemplated her predicament whilst she slept._

_"I can appreciate why you would not enjoy doing so, but your manners and speech are not consistent with those of a reputable lady of this society should be. I have been known to travel for business from time to time in order to avoid social engagements. It is my recommendation that we claim that you are to accompany me on such a trip._

_"During that time, I can tutor you in speech, carriage, and manners. You need to learn how a lady takes tea, table manners, and posture. You need instruction on dance; you will be expected to dance at any ball. In addition, a lady of breeding would be expected to be accomplished in the arts, such as drawing and music. Your posture is fairly atrocious, and the way you sat on my chair last night was vulgar._

_"We also need to ameliorate your speech. Your accent clearly defines you as someone not of our country or time. Your grammar and syntax are difficult for me to understand. I believe this could become a problem if left uncorrected._

_"Would you accept my instructions? If you are to continue living in this time, I think it would be best to give you a proper education on society, and you can enjoy yourself and interact with others. In the meantime, you can stay here with me."_

_She confirms my accusations as she sits still with her eyes wide and mouth gaping. Her silence has lasted so long—is she insulted by my offer?_

_"You would really do all that for me? I don't know if there's any way I could ever repay your kindness."_

_"Would you permit me to be frank for a moment?" She nods in assent. "I have been alone for well over a century, and have never met anyone who could accept me as an individual. The Volturi saw me as a curiosity, and though they were kind and offered me friendship, they believed that my choice not to kill humans was flawed and an aberration. I cannot permit myself to keep company with humans, because it would mean death if they were to discover my secret."_

_She searches my face, as if she will find some hidden secrets and truths upon it. I cannot help but wonder if she can. "You already know that I am a vampire, and yet you treat me as a friend, and have so eagerly placed your trust in me. You offer me seemingly unconditional companionship. I would prevail upon your generosity of spirit; it is only proper that I should provide some manner of passing time together that could be beneficial to both of us."_

_x-x-x_

_She wakes herself with her screams once again, and I wonder how she can feel such terrible pain in her sleep. Every night for two months, the dreams persist, and I cannot help but believe I am, in part, to blame for her anguish. I stroke her hair to ease her tension, feeling impotent despite my inhuman strength. Surely there must be some way to ease her suffering._

_She pulls on my collar, seeking physical closeness. Does she not realize how much danger I present to her? She tests the boundaries of my control with alarming frequency. I catch her eye, and note the profound need. I wrap my arm around her, relishing the feel of her warmth against me. She feels perfect, pressed against my side. I refuse to take the liberty of such intimacy without her initiation. I can deny it not that I desperately want to do so._

_I run my fingers through her silken hair, and quietly purr in satisfaction. If she is aware, she acknowledges it not. The action seems to soothe her, and her tears slow to a stop. I would give anything to prevent its necessity._

_"Were you left in the woods again in your dream, Bella?" The question escapes me before I can contain it._

_"I'm sorry. I know you must be so tired of this. You really don't have to stay here with me every night. I'm sure you must have other things you want to do."_

_I smile at her, and wonder how she can believe I would desire to be anywhere else. "I don't know how to explain this, but it is as comforting to me as it seems to be for you. I know you've said that I will have the restraint necessary to practice medicine in the future, and I cannot begin to express my satisfaction pertaining to this news. I confess to be rather impatient, though. I want to help people, to heal people. I can't do that yet, but staying here with you makes me feel like I am making a difference."_

_She strokes my cheek with the back of her fingers, leaving trails of warmth in their midst. Somehow, I know her touch would be warm even if her skin were as cold as my own. Slowly and carefully, she moves her face closer to mine, and I stop breathing at her proximity. She presses her lips against my cheek, and my body feels alive for the first time since my death. She pulls away from me, and her smile is breathtaking and contagious._

_"What was that for?" I ask._

_"To thank you. You're the best man I've ever known, and I am so grateful that I have you in my life."_

_She has seen my darkness, and still believes this of me? I feel my own smile widen at her words. "That means more to me than you can know. Your good opinion is one I value above all others."_

_She smiles at me as she begins to cry. I brush a tear away gently, and feel her lean slightly into my touch. I doubt she knows she has done so._

_"I wish I could remove your sorrow. I wish there was a way to heal it, like I could heal your body."_

_"You do. I'm a poor friend to you if you don't know how much your presence has meant to me over the last few months. You've taught me so much, and done so much for me. I don't just mean teaching me piano and dancing, either. You've cared for me, and been there for me. You've been wonderful, and you can't really see it, but I'm getting better."_

_Her eyes shine with sincerity, yet I cannot allay my own fears. A question has tugged at the corners of my mind, and I must know the truth. "Bella? May I presume to ask you a question?"_

_"You can ask anything you want of me, Carlisle. As long as it's not about your future coven, you can ask me anything you want."_

_In a way, it is, but I must know, regardless. "Was it me who left you in the woods? Was I the one that caused these dreams?"_

_"Have I said anything that would give you that impression? I'm so sorry if I did…"_

_Can she really be so oblivious? "No. You've given me no reason to believe as much, but I have considered it a possibility regardless."_

_"I guess I don't know why you would think that,"_

_I thought it possible because I love you, Bella. I cannot envision a world or time in which I would know you and not be captivated by you in every possible way._

_"You've mentioned before that my coven had been close to you, and treated you as family, and left you. You've also implied that I was the head of this coven, and I can't imagine that I would agree to leave you alone, unless I was protecting you from myself." I stroke her cheek, and admit my deepest truth. "I also cannot imagine knowing you, and not wanting to always be close to you."_

_"We were friends, Carlisle, and yes, you and your entire family did leave, but while you may have broken my heart, you were not the one to shatter it completely."_

_She speaks the words as if it does not shatter my own heart to hear them. She calls me a friend, and casually informs me that she has loved another so deeply. I would rather die than hurt her, yet know that leaving her was likely the most difficult thing I will ever do. Being apart from her would be the most acute torture; I would sooner live without feeding._

_"I am both relieved and regretful simultaneously."_

_She cocks an eyebrow, and I know I just admitted more than intended. "I regret causing you pain, but I am glad that I was not the one who caused these nightmares."_

_She searches my face once more, and I wonder if she can read my thoughts by doing so. Does she know that this is only part of the truth? Can she know how deeply I love her? She smiles and snuggles deeper into me as if she could mould her body around mine completely, and I think she must really know. Her eyes slip closed, and she must be exhausted._

_"I don't think you could ever hurt me like he did. His features seem to be fading away in my dreams, though. I don't feel the same way I once did for him. The dreams will stop."_

_"You say that you don't feel the same way you had, but I haven't seen your nightmares ease at all," I point out._

_"I think it's less about him leaving, and more about the fact that I was left at all."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I just… I think I'll always be afraid of being left alone like that again. That I'm not good enough to stay with…"_

_"Sweet dreams, Bella. You are beautiful and wonderful. I do not think I could ever leave you," I murmur honestly. I wait until her breathing is almost even before adding, "I doubt I could, even if you asked it of me."_

_x-x-x_

_That is the nineteenth time she has sighed within the last half hour._

_"You seem somewhat melancholy and wistful today. Is there anything you want to talk about?" I ask her._

_"Yes… and no. I miss Charlie and Renee," she replies._

_"It has taken me months to become accustomed to the manner in which you address me by my given name. I fear that I may never properly adjust to you doing the same with your parents."_

_She giggles as if my words were spoken in jest. "You should see Charlie's face when I slip and do it to his face. I've accepted the fact that I'm not going home, and I've been very happy here with you, –I hope you know that- but I am terrified that I am going to forget my old life. I don't want to forget my family."_

_I need to hold her, and found that I have drawn her into my arms. The need to comfort her is deeper than any instinct I possess. I bury my face into her hair and breathe her in before pressing my lips against her head. I have never truly thought about how greatly she must miss her family. Some of my own memories of my father are blurred and vague, and I wish I had thought to record them in some way before they were lost._

_"You could write down everything you can remember about your life. Start with your earliest memories as a little girl, and try not to leave anything out. You can talk about different events, as well as how they made you feel. Describe your parents, and what you love most about them—as well as what frustrates you about them."_

_"That is perfect, Carlisle. Then, even if they do fade from my memory, I'll have something to refer back to."_

_"Precisely," I say. "I seem to be lucky in that I remember a good deal from my human life, but I still wish I had thought to keep a journal as a human. Even if I had written down my memories when I was first changed, I could have retained more of them. I find myself frequently lamenting the fact that I cannot clearly remember my father."_

_"You know, you haven't ever really told me much about your human life. Will you do so now?" Bella asks._

_I tell her about my family, as she listens with a smile._

_"Thank you for telling me about your family. It means so much to me. I wish I could tell you more about my own, but I'm so afraid of influencing the future," she says with a small frown._

_"I understand why you cannot. I promise you that I will not read your journals unless you offer them to me."_

_She seems surprised that I accept her request so easily. Someone must have disrespected her greatly for her to elicit such a response._

_She leaves to write, and I try to ignore my curiosity. I read a medical text to busy my mind. I hear a knock at my door, but she enters before I respond._

_"Bella…" I begin._

_She interrupts me quickly. "I hope you know that you are my best friend, Carlisle. You have completely altered my life, and shown me the potential that it could have. I don't think I could live my life without you in it, and I know I don't want to try. The proof of all this is in the pages of my journal."_

_Her words are everything I've wanted to hear. "I feel I must admit the same as you, Miss Swan. Bella, I'd been miserable, lost, and profoundly lonely until you approached me at the ball. Since that moment, you have changed the course of my life irrevocably, and have come to be the one person in my life whom I feel I can truly be myself around. You understand me in ways that no one else ever has, and I thank God every day that he saw fit to bring you into my life. My life would not be the same without you in it, either."_

_I wipe away a stray tear, and kiss her forehead, choosing to trust myself._

_"Does this mean you'd consider changing me some day?" Bella asks, and my heart feels complete. Perhaps this means she my feel the same as I._

_"If you chose to be my companion for this eternity, I would be honored to change you. I couldn't wait almost 200 years to see you again, only to lose you once again. I value our relationship far too much to do so."_

_x-x-x_

_"You love me?"_

_"You know about vampires, Bella. I'm not certain that you're well educated in what happens when a vampire falls in love, though. A vampire is frozen in time, and we are not susceptible to alterations of character. The only force strong enough to coerce any sort of change is love. The love I hold for you has changed me so completely. I had been alone and withdrawn from everyone. I was unhappy all of the time, and the way the Volturi treated me filled me with uncertainty._

_"When I met you, I gained confidence in myself, and was able to see not only what I could offer the world, but also what the world can offer me. You have filled me with such passion for life, and make me believe that I am capable of anything. You make me a better man than I had ever hoped to be, and I will love you as long as I walk the Earth._

_"A vampire's love is unbreakable, unalterable, and permanent. I will never love another, and I could not bear it if I had to face an eternity without you by my side. Marry me, Isabella Swan, and let me change you as my mate, so that we may be together forever."_

_Tears stream down her face, yet her smile is brilliant._

_"Yes, Carlisle. I love you with everything that I am, and everything that I will be, and desire nothing more in this world than to be your wife!"_

_I must kiss her. She is everything to me, and to know that she loves me is…everything. The feeling of her lips against mine is Heaven, and I lose myself in the touch of her skin. The taste of her mouth is intoxicating, and I want to feel her body around my own. I want to feel her heat. I need to taste every part of her._

_She parts her mouth, and the taste is more intense. Her tongue slips inside of my mouth; she invades my body just as she has invaded my soul. Her fire consumes me, and I am nothing more than tinder. I feel drunk and alert, as if no sensation could escape my attention. I feel a rush of warmth, and I swallow the excess liquid in my mouth. It is the most intoxicating flavor._

_She is bleeding into my mouth. I try and fail to tear myself from her. Between the sweetness of her kiss and taste of her blood, I am overwhelmed with desire, and feel myself orgasm. I groan in pleasure, and can finally tear myself from her lips. I step back and look at her in panic. She must have cut her tongue on my teeth. How could I be so careless? My venom will change her._

_"Carlisle. Don't panic. We both want for me to become a vampire. Let the change happen. I am happy about this, as long as I will still have you when I wake up. We can stay here in Roysten until I am ready to be around people."_

_She is right. I kiss her lips, and savor the blood that still hangs upon them. She is right; we both want this. "I love you, Bella, and will forever."_

_"I love you, too, Carlisle."_

_I bring my lips to her throat, and bite her once more, licking the skin. As I bite several more places along her body and taste the sweetness of her blood, I am lost in my own pleasure. She will know nothing but pain for a long while, yet I can feel nothing apart from my own ecstasy. Pleasure crashes through me as I find release over and over again. This is Bella's blood within me now; she is inside of me as much as my venom is now inside of her._

_I carry her inside, and though she is surprisingly silent and still, I speak to her gently. As if my words could ease her pain, I pause only for breath. Perhaps the coolness of my body will ease her pain?_

_Three days pass far too slowly, and I wait until she is finally awake. Her beauty has been enhanced. So beautiful…Bella has always been beautiful. Now, though, her features are ethereal. She will forever be exquisite. She will forever be mine._

_Her eyes open, and my world is complete. The only thought in my mind is, "Bella, I love you, and am glad you are happy and mine."_

_The air in the room tightens and releases, as if it lives within our own passion. When I kiss her, she melts into me. Her warmth overwhelms me, as if her love were a tangible entity. She asks me to make love to her, and I can do nothing but consent. I love her; I need her. She is my sanity and my tether to this world._

_I explore her body with my fingers and mouth. I taste the sweetness of her skin—like candied violets and roses. I ache for her. She is touching me, and I am overwhelmed. She is so good, so pure, and I want her so completely. I need to feel her skin against mine. I need to be inside of her._

_I enter her slowly, and the world stills around us. She is the Earth, the moon, the Heavens, and I am hers._

_I move inside of her as she moves against me, and I can only feel. She is hot and tight around me. I feel her love like a blanket. She wraps her soul around me like she does her limbs. Pleasure releases from me far greater than that from her blood._

_I am perfect and whole, and consummately hers for eternity._

x-x-x

"I think I have Aro's power," she states.

"What do you mean, you have Aro's power?"

"When he touched me, I saw every memory he's ever had, and those of anyone he's ever touched. I saw your memories from when you were here before. I see everything from everyone. It's like a giant maze appeared in my head, and now I have to figure out what turns I want to make."

"I don't understand how this could happen," I say.

"I think I take the powers of those around me. I'm not a shield-well, I wasn't before, but I'm pretty sure I took Sulpicia's shield. When we first walked into the throne room, we shook Caius and Marcus's hands, and then I saw the bonds between everyone in the room. It was like everyone had a shimmering rope of light connecting to each other, and the thickness and color showed the nature and strength of the bond. When I touched Aro's hand, he may not have been able to read my mind, but I certainly was able to read his. Every thought he has ever had, even in passing. It's so much to take in!"

I move to wrap my arm around her shoulders, and she once more moves away from my embrace. I know no reason why she should have quarrel with my touch, and I feel impotent when she evades my touch. "Why won't you let me comfort you, Bella?"

"If you touch me, I will hear every thought you have ever had. I may have taken your previous thoughts from Aro's mind before, but I will not invade your privacy willingly!"

"Do you mean to imply that you won't touch me because you're afraid of invading my memories?"

"I'm not implying anything, Carlisle. I clearly said exactly that," Bella yells. I understand her frustration, yet I am only trying to provide comfort to my mate. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't know what to do! I don't want this!"

"I know you didn't ask for this, Bella, but I can't live my life not being able to touch my mate. It goes against every instinct I have. I need to feel you, touch you, love you. I don't think I can be complete if I cannot have physical contact with you."

She seems to visibly calm herself. "How can you want to touch me, knowing that I will violate your mind? You will have no privacy from me as soon as I brush my skin against yours, and it only takes a moment for it to happen. How can you want to put yourself in that position."

"Bella, I love you, and have trusted you completely from the moment you stood in front of me, telling me details of my life that no one else knew. You already know me better than anyone, and there's no secret I need to protect from you, and certainly not one that would be worth more to me than being able to hold you in my arms. Though, I suppose it will never again be possible to surprise you."

Her smile, though sad, comforts me. "I just wish that I didn't need to worry about this. I won't be able to kiss you without knowing every thought that passes through your mind."

I smile at her concern. "Then I must make certain to think about how incredible you are every moment of every day."

"You really don't hate me for this?"

"I could never hate you, Bella, and this wasn't your fault. You didn't ask for this. I'm not entirely sure how this happened, but we'll figure it out. Together."

"I love you, Carlisle."

"I love you, too, Bella," I reassure her whilst smiling. "Now, may I please kiss you?"

I kiss her, and feel whole once more. I cannot live without her touch, and I hope she would feel the same. She does not return the kiss instantly, and I wonder if she is truly reading my thoughts. She nods her head, moving my head up and down as she doesn't move away from our kiss. I'm glad she knows how much I need to be close to her right now.

If I could, I would never let my skin leave hers.

She smiles against my skin in response, and once more I feel reality slipping behind her presence. She has seen the depth of my loneliness, and the pain of my past. She therefore must also have seen how brilliant is the joy that she brings me. The only pain I can feel is when she is pained.

In Volterra, there are many gifted vampires. Aro enjoys those with particular talents. Will he want Bella to remain here? I have lived happily within the city's walls, yet I left to pursue more lofty ambitions. I will stay if she so chooses, but only if it is her choice.

When she ends or kiss, I am reminded that my thoughts are not my own. Her fingers are still on my face, and she appears worried, as if anything could threaten my love and need for her. Perhaps now that she can read my thoughts, she knows how foolish a belief that truly is. I smile at her, and for the first time since leaving Aro's presence, her smile is genuine and happy.

I would prefer that she not possess Aro's ability to read thoughts, but only because I wish to spare her such a heavy burden. If denying me her touch will save her from discomfort, I will spare her the experience. "I only wanted to provide you with some privacy, Carlisle," she says, interrupting my thoughts. "Your mind is as beautiful as your soul, and looking in to it could never cause me pain."

I am grateful that I don't have to respond. I don't know how I've deserved her love, yet I will treasure it always. "I hope you never decide otherwise, but will abide by your wishes if you do," I tell her.

Every errant thought will be exposed to her, and I am intimidated by the prospect. Perhaps, had I not known Aro, this would be difficult to conceive, and I am grateful for our particular circumstances. I wish she could control the gift, if only to spare her from the constant intrusion of my thoughts. She is my mate, and while Aro could touch my hand if he was so inclined, I hope to touch Bella as constantly as she would allow. From her smile, I believe this to be as frequently as I desire.

"I wish I knew how my ability worked."

"Eleazar could inform us," I say, relieved to provide some assistance in this matter. "He can read a person's ability—what it is, and how it functions. If we knew how your ability worked, perhaps we can help control it."

"Aro has never touched a person without hearing their thoughts."

"Aro's is not the only ability you possess," I counter. "Nor are the only talented vampires living in Volterra. There are those with gifts who do not care for the lifestyle of the Volturi."

"I hadn't considered that."

"Eleazar's gift may be beneficial to possess, as well. You would be able to know the gifts of those who we come in contact with, and how to utilize those talents."

"You see, Carlisle? Your mind will always fascinate me."

"I'm glad of that. Shall we go seek out my friend?"

"Please," she says, and threads her arm through my own. I lead her back to the castle, and hope to find answers with the help of Eleazar.

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter will be back in BPOV. I'll get it up as soon as possible. I'm shooting for next weekend, but it depends on ItSoUM.**


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